I haven't been here in a minute. With school, family and school ending - I still have no excuse.
My thoughts for today are brief. Why is it that a woman thinks her man is weak if he shares his feelings with his best friend. She wants him to talk to her, share his feelings and share his heart, but not with another man. Why?
Now, I don't mean this to sound like I am making excuses because of where I am in my life. I love my wife and God knows I love her. There are some things that she is not going to understand from the male point of view. We are very open and honest about that fact. I don't have a brother to share my heart with, nor do I have the father that I would love to have in my life to bounce things off of. So, I share my heart with my best male friends who I know have my best interest are heart and are going to tell me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear.
I have several friends who are going through major life issues. Some of them are dealing with financial issues, marriage issues, spiritual issues and emotional issues. These are men who stand firm in the faith, yet they are realist when it comes to life difficulties.
Guess what? It is o.k. to say I am hurting. It's in my brokenness, that I find my breakthrough. I can't understand why people think that the ring is a shackle that allows you to speak down to, berate, demoralize or disrespect your spouse (male or female). Two people stood before God and a church full of witnesses, and proclaimed that they would be together for good and bad - so why make and dwell on the bad?
A relationship is not about control, but about team work. I don't have all of the answers, but I think that after 21 years of marriage and working through hard times, I have something to offer to hurting men. I have been where most of them are heading.
I can not understand why some women can not let a man who wants to lead the family - have to be in control. IF he is doing his job around the house - let him. IF he is protecting him - let him. IF he is praying for you - let him. IF he is providing for you - let him. IF is financially responsible and a good stewart of money - let him. IF his is walking in the authority of man who is led by God - PLEASE LET HIM. On the other hand, IF he is showing you no respect, no love, no affection, no support, not helping with the kids, not, helping around the house - SPEAK UP!!!! However, remember this - he married the woman that he loved, not his mother. Don't put him down in public and think he or other people are good with that. Those who witness it, are not thinking good of you, they are feeling sorry for him and wondering why he puts up with it.
As men, we don't like to be talked to as though we are children. We want you to talk to us and not at us. We want you to show us the same love and respect that you want. We want you to ask us about our heart. We want you pray with us and for us. We want you to take our hand and look into our eyes and see our hearts for you.
We just don't want to hurt with words that you can't take back. We don't want to believe that your actions and words are controlled by hormones out of control. But don't come back and tell us that's what the problem was. Only you control what comes out of your mouth. We are men - strong, tough and loving, just remember that under that manly exterior there is a heart that has feelings.
I am so grateful to God that I have a woman who submits to God as she submits to me as the head of the family. IF I wasn't doing what God wanted for my family - I could understand her doing/saying whatever she wants. However, I love her and she loves me. WE work things out together for our household. I am a blessed man and I acknowledge it as often as I can. I found my good and perfect gift and I thank God for her. She hears my hurts, asks where my heart is, and understands that I might need a man to listen to my thoughts. At the same time, I have to willing to share 100% of who I am with her because she is my LIFE PARTNER and my helpmate. Where I am weak, she brings me up. Where I low, she helps me rise. When I need an ear, she listens.
When a man hurts, and turns off his heart - you might not ever get back in.
