This morning I woke up thinking about my sister who passed away 13 years ago. And, for some reason I can't shake being overwhelmed with emotion when I think about her. Before I got married, she was my ABSOLUTE BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD!!!! Most people couldn't understand our friendship. When we were younger, I would volunteer to take a spanking for her. I would defend her at all costs because I felt like it was my job to protect her in every way possible after our mom passed away.
We knew everything about each other, and I mean everything. Leaving home at 16 was a challenging time for me. I called her everyday to see how she was holding up and to make sure she felt safe. She would tell me that I need to take care of myself and not to worry about her, but I did.
Leaving for college was even harder. I couldn't imagine going more than an hour away from "home" and not be close enough to get back to her. See, I loved my sister. She was the only person who I felt believed in me. No matter how many times I was told that I was nothing, I will never be anything, and I am worth nothing. She would come and tell me the exact opposite. She begged me not to leave but I couldn't take anymore. I was tired of the constant demoralization I faced every single day. When I finally had enough - she knew it and told me that I needed to leave before someone got hurt.
When she get sick with a form of palsy, I rushed home from college to be by her beside and I sat right there until she was released. My college friends wondered what happened to me. I was raised in one of those "what happens in this family, stays in this family" kind of houses. I missed exams and fell behind. I shut out my roommate John, and all of my friends. But I never shut her out. I told her how I hated going to college for accounting when I really wanted to be a teacher. She told that if I changed my major that I would be cut off financially from home. So, against my own will, I stuck with accounting and was in a job I hated for 21 years.
When I told her that I was getting married, she was so excited for me because I found someone who loved me with all my faults, shortcomings, trials and triumphs. She would tell me all the time, " I like her and she will be good for you" Tammy's opinion was more important to me than anyone else in the world at that time. She really loved my wife like she would a sister.
Planning her wedding was a great time for us. We did everything together for that wedding. She trusted me so much that she asked me to make dresses for our daughters. I must admit, they came out pretty good. I made all of her florals, helped design her dress, made her veil and decorated the hall for her. That was some of the best money my wife and I ever spent. The smile on her face was PRICELESS.
The day she died, I felt like the world came to an end for the third time in my life. We lost our mom when she was only 27, I lost my sister when she was 27, and my brother was gunned down when he was 22. I wanted the world to stop so I could get off and get some relief. But, there was something very different when she passed away. We listed to our two songs: My Soul Is Anchored and Count On Me, and we laughed and cried, and laughed and cried some more. She told me that she needed to rest and that I needed to take care of myself and help her children grow up.
The next week she looked great. She was her old self again, so full of life and I thought she rebounded. Everything in me knew that it was the end. Being a minister and seeing people in the hospital follow this pattern - you just know. But I still had hope in spite of it all.
When the doctor called me at 2:30AM, to let me know I needed to come and see her, it was too late. I didn't get to talk to her in the final moments. I felt cheated that she didn't wait for me, but she knew I wasn't ready for that .
Now I need to go wash my face of the tears and replace them with all of the great memories I have of her. Tammy, you are always on my mind. I see your face every time I look at LaToya, and I am filled with joy. She is a duplicate of her mom in almost every way.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Enough Already
I really need to stay out of WalMart. Forget the kids acting out - I want to grab the parents and shake them. How do you just stand there and let your child talk to you like you are the kid? It seems to further I walked into the store, the worse it was getting.
How many times does a child have to ask for something and the parent keeps saying no, and the item ends up in the cart anyway? How many times does the kid have to scream and say "I hate you" before the parent gets tired of hearing? How many times do you have be called names by that ungrateful child who thinks he is entitled to the world? How much longer are we going to apathetic? How many more times will you say, "wait till your dad gets home?"
One of my followers has an issue(he knows I am writing this). He is being mentally beat down by his wife because he has no job - join the club. So I asked him what he does to contribute to the household. He does what any man worth his weight would do. He cooks - following the recipe as closely as possible, cleans, takes the kids to schools and works odd jobs when he can get one. He was once a Financial Planner and can't find a job. Every employer tells him he is their second choice and they went with a different candidate (code for younger and cheaper). Anyway, the problem is that he is tired of being verbally beat up when the wife is stressed out. He has only been out of work for 3 months and has been blessed to have a 7 month cash reserve built up. They had plans to use that money for a European trip that is now on hold.
The bigger issue isn't the lack of work, it's the name calling in front of the kids, in public and at family events. She is almost like Angela on Why Did I Get Married. I thought about it and this is what I think. A man is only going to take so much. If in his heart he is doing the best he can with the situation at hand - calm down. Keep on, and he is going to leave. I would rather he stay and work it out. A man's pride is a very fragile area. If she is feeling threatened because the trip is off, or her lifestyle is about to change, set back-take a breathe and relax. ALL of us are having to make some very tough decisions these past few years and in the immediate future.
This might sound hard, but it is not intended to be cruel or mean. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us what they think. You don't have to agree with it, but it was asked so here I go.
No, you may not be able to take that trip-go later, your family and bills come first. Take a trip to a local destination and save your money. No, you might not find another job in the industry and you should prepare yourself for that. Yes, you might have to keep house for a while longer and all of the other things you do. It won't kill you. Guess what, the dynamic of the home is changing and more and more dads are at home in reversed roles. Buckle up buddy and take the ride. Just like her, you signed up for the part of the vows that said for better or for worse. I know your kid is a handful at school and the teachers want you to get him medical help. If you aren't willing to get the Ritalin - then you sit next to him in class to keep him from acting up so that the rest of the kids can learn something. And, it's called discipline - if he isn't ADD or ADHD, punish his butt. Stop sparing the rod and spoiling him. He only cry tears, not blood.
Teachers have a hard enough time teaching 20+ kids and you send Billy Bad Butt to school to add to the frustration, NOT!!! Stop saying you are going homeschool him when you are complaining about how he acts at home. He will never learn anything if you are upset with him for the way he acts. He will end up in front of the T.V., playing video games, or in his room playing with toys. GET THE CHILD SOME HELP!!!! Your local school system has programs in place for him that you should be taking advantage of.
Someone, please stop the insanity. The mother who was recently arrested and put in jail for putting her kids in a better school system that she didn't live in, is not random. First - she needs to be set free. She is not the first and she won't be the last. Why make an example out of her? What are her kids supposed to do now without her at home? Are you going to crowd the jails with everyone else who is doing it, when you allows thieves, murderers, rapists and abusers to get away with what they do?
Enough already!!!! Wake up America and take control. We have had enough of the inmates running the asylum. Enough already - speak up when you see injustice. Enough already - kids learn to RESPECT YOUR PARENTS AND YOUR ELDERS, or get popped in the mouth like I did when I was kid. Trust me, you will learn.
I'm just saying, as a people we are too complacent when it comes to common decency and respect of other peoples feelings. No, I am not saying to act like everything is roses and daisies. Think about how you are presenting the words you are saying and how they taste going out of your mouth. Take a long hard look at that person's face when you finally shut up from all of that unnecessary yelling and screaming. Words are like toothpaste, once it's out - you can't put it back in the tube.
How many times does a child have to ask for something and the parent keeps saying no, and the item ends up in the cart anyway? How many times does the kid have to scream and say "I hate you" before the parent gets tired of hearing? How many times do you have be called names by that ungrateful child who thinks he is entitled to the world? How much longer are we going to apathetic? How many more times will you say, "wait till your dad gets home?"
One of my followers has an issue(he knows I am writing this). He is being mentally beat down by his wife because he has no job - join the club. So I asked him what he does to contribute to the household. He does what any man worth his weight would do. He cooks - following the recipe as closely as possible, cleans, takes the kids to schools and works odd jobs when he can get one. He was once a Financial Planner and can't find a job. Every employer tells him he is their second choice and they went with a different candidate (code for younger and cheaper). Anyway, the problem is that he is tired of being verbally beat up when the wife is stressed out. He has only been out of work for 3 months and has been blessed to have a 7 month cash reserve built up. They had plans to use that money for a European trip that is now on hold.
The bigger issue isn't the lack of work, it's the name calling in front of the kids, in public and at family events. She is almost like Angela on Why Did I Get Married. I thought about it and this is what I think. A man is only going to take so much. If in his heart he is doing the best he can with the situation at hand - calm down. Keep on, and he is going to leave. I would rather he stay and work it out. A man's pride is a very fragile area. If she is feeling threatened because the trip is off, or her lifestyle is about to change, set back-take a breathe and relax. ALL of us are having to make some very tough decisions these past few years and in the immediate future.
This might sound hard, but it is not intended to be cruel or mean. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us what they think. You don't have to agree with it, but it was asked so here I go.
No, you may not be able to take that trip-go later, your family and bills come first. Take a trip to a local destination and save your money. No, you might not find another job in the industry and you should prepare yourself for that. Yes, you might have to keep house for a while longer and all of the other things you do. It won't kill you. Guess what, the dynamic of the home is changing and more and more dads are at home in reversed roles. Buckle up buddy and take the ride. Just like her, you signed up for the part of the vows that said for better or for worse. I know your kid is a handful at school and the teachers want you to get him medical help. If you aren't willing to get the Ritalin - then you sit next to him in class to keep him from acting up so that the rest of the kids can learn something. And, it's called discipline - if he isn't ADD or ADHD, punish his butt. Stop sparing the rod and spoiling him. He only cry tears, not blood.
Teachers have a hard enough time teaching 20+ kids and you send Billy Bad Butt to school to add to the frustration, NOT!!! Stop saying you are going homeschool him when you are complaining about how he acts at home. He will never learn anything if you are upset with him for the way he acts. He will end up in front of the T.V., playing video games, or in his room playing with toys. GET THE CHILD SOME HELP!!!! Your local school system has programs in place for him that you should be taking advantage of.
Someone, please stop the insanity. The mother who was recently arrested and put in jail for putting her kids in a better school system that she didn't live in, is not random. First - she needs to be set free. She is not the first and she won't be the last. Why make an example out of her? What are her kids supposed to do now without her at home? Are you going to crowd the jails with everyone else who is doing it, when you allows thieves, murderers, rapists and abusers to get away with what they do?
Enough already!!!! Wake up America and take control. We have had enough of the inmates running the asylum. Enough already - speak up when you see injustice. Enough already - kids learn to RESPECT YOUR PARENTS AND YOUR ELDERS, or get popped in the mouth like I did when I was kid. Trust me, you will learn.
I'm just saying, as a people we are too complacent when it comes to common decency and respect of other peoples feelings. No, I am not saying to act like everything is roses and daisies. Think about how you are presenting the words you are saying and how they taste going out of your mouth. Take a long hard look at that person's face when you finally shut up from all of that unnecessary yelling and screaming. Words are like toothpaste, once it's out - you can't put it back in the tube.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Screaming Kids - Just Saying
Lately, it seems as though people are becoming more and more rude, disrespectful and uncaring of one another. Before I go to bed at night, and think about the events of the day. The good things that happen as well as the bad. I think about how to make the good become great and the bad much better. I check myself for mistakes mad on my part, what issues I allowed to push me to edge, what triggers the few hairs I have left, to stand up on my neck.
A good friend of mine has this phrase he enjoys saying: "People only do to you what you allow them to do." It's a true statement. If I let you talk to me and treat me any kind of way and say nothing - shame on me. If I believe I am who my Father in heaven says I am, then why should I allow anyone to call me anything else, unless it lines up with His Word.
I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago because I was experiencing pain in my arms and neck again. It feels like the pain and discomfort I had prior to the surgery. Anywho - I went to the doctor and he wants to cut again. Unlike CT, these surgeons go straight for the scalpel without trying therapy. Trying as I might, I didn't want to see God in it. If you are a praying person, you see Him in everything regardless of your denomination or religious beliefs - He is at work in every area of our lives.
One of my daughters has her own little catch phrase when I ask a question - "I'm just saying" That phrase brought me all the back to when I was a young boy growing up in the projects. It's the young people's way of gossiping about something. When I was young I would hear the adults say: "quiet as it's kept" or "word has it" or "they said." I have always wondered who "they" are.
Anyway. Like I was saying before - kids today. You never have to go to far to see kids in action. Just visit your local WalMart and you will see what I mean. Little Billy Bad Butt and Tiny Tantrum Tina putting on a show for the rest of the world. Before I go on, let's not forget the Put-Off Parent who was too stupid to realize that anytime after 8PM is too late for a small child to be in a store for something that could really wait for the next day. Little Billy and Tiny Tina enter the store as quiet as church mice and then it happens. WalMart has a habit of putting things kids want right at the door. You aren't 10 feet inside and then the siren starts out at a low pitch and then increases to an excruciating, ear popping , 150 decibel, fever pitch roar.
Who has to listen to that - the poor senior citizen standing there saying "welcome to WalMart" Now, I understand the marketing aspect of the kid items at the store. It's there to make you buy it so that your kids will be quiet until you cross that aisle as you pass the registers just to run into your next obstacle - the seasonal items. It's made to capture Billy and Tina's attention. The bright colors, the lights shining down on the area, the frenzy of kids flocking over there without a parent in hand, moms and a few dads scrambling to get that item. It took me all the way back to living in Norwalk and enjoying the trip to Stew Leonards(Clover's Farm when I was little) and as you enter - the ice cream stand was the first thing you passed and the second you stepped into the store - you were in the bakery. All of the free samples a kid could want. All kinds of animated figures throughout the store. More free samples at every turn - cookies, bread, juice, cold cuts/deli meats, chips, veggies w/dip, cooked meats and that pool of pistachios that I would take a handful of to walk around the store, and of course - that screaming kid in the cart whose parent parked him in the middle of the aisle to watch the show of larger than life characters do their 5 minute show - literally.
Unlike WalMart, Stews is a one-way street. You have no choice but to follow the flow of customers. Another great marketing gimmick. They suck you in and have very few short cuts to avoid the traffic. Regardless of what store it is, there is an optimal time to take the kids. First thing in the day up until lunch/nap time and immediately before dinner. Other than that, they don't have the attention span, the patience, or tolerance to put up with Put-Off Parent who was too selfish to wait until a better time for the child.
I can't stand to see the kid crying out for attention and Put-Off Parent is in their own world, doing their own thing while the helpless child is pouring out tears and drooling at the mouth. Why are you yelling at them? ? They didn't ask to be at the store or in this world. Don't tell them to shut-up, they are going to yell even louder now that they have your attention. Don't hit him, people might just call Child Services on you while they record the events on their cell phones. If had trained them properly at home, they would know how to behave in the store for you. If you set some ground rules with the child who is able to understand and follow directions - YOU wouldn't look like an idiot who doesn't know how to parent a child.
It amazes me at the number of men who just stand there while the children act like they have lost the sense the good Lord gave them. I see far too many men standing there with their hands in their pockets and listen to the kids disrespect mom. That kid treat dad like a puppet on a string and dad moves at every command trying to talk softly. I overheard one dad say "he didn't take his meds today" That kid doesn't need meds, that kid needs discipline and learn his place as a child. Sometimes I just want to take the kid by the collar and straighten them out. America is over medicated now, and doping up our kids to get them to calm down is not the answer. Instead of being the court jester - be the king you were created to be and rule your home properly.
I do believe that some people need lessons on how to raise a child. I am no expert, but my children know and knew that there is a way to behave when in public. They also knew like I did as kid, if you put me to shame publicly - you will be corrected publicly. I am of the old school where we fix the problem where it was made. Once, I allowed one of my children get away with something by saying ' just wait until I get you home. Threats are not going to change the current situation. Parents need to learn how to Carpe' Diem' - Seize the day. Take control right now before your day it ruined and you walk around feeling like everyone is looking at you. Seize the moment and know your child's schedule. Right now my kids (all 4 of them) know that if we walk into a store - do not walk away from me unless you ask, the ground rules are layed down in the car, in the parking lot before the door opens and foot hits the ground. They know what I expect. We are here for one purpose and one purpose only - don't ask for something we have not budgeted for and if you ask - you will be told a very firm NO. Ask me twice, and we will not be going over the rules, we will not be asking what did we say in the car. All it takes from me now is the look. My face says it all.
And, if you are thinking about trying to call me out - be prepared!!!!!!!! So, before you go say, "I feel sorry for his kids." Let me make you fully aware of a simple facts. I am not their friend - I am their father. We will be friends when they grow up, graduate college and get married. There are way too many kids that are statistics. I have a choice to make - do I want them in the state pen. or at Penn State. I'll take Penn State for $1,000 Alex. It's too hard to be kid today with all the challenges they face, and the media is not helping us at all. They glorify the bad and don't push the positive strong enough. My girls and son know I love them because they are told. I don't always get it right, but I do the best I can to provide a good, safe home, cook nurishing meals, keep clean clothes on them, and discipline with love, discipline, love. Tell them that you love them, tell them what they did wrong and give the consequence, and love on them some more.
It's not always the child's fault for their behavior - it's yours. All of that made my relationship with God change. He has expectations of what He wants His children to be like. If we know Him like we should, our goal would be to make our Father proud. Yes, He is standing their when we fall and picks us up again. We are like toddlers to Him and He keeps teaching us everyday to walk a bit stronger. One thing I do know about Him and have learned the hard way - obedience is better than sacrifice. I'm Just Saying!!!!!
A good friend of mine has this phrase he enjoys saying: "People only do to you what you allow them to do." It's a true statement. If I let you talk to me and treat me any kind of way and say nothing - shame on me. If I believe I am who my Father in heaven says I am, then why should I allow anyone to call me anything else, unless it lines up with His Word.
I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago because I was experiencing pain in my arms and neck again. It feels like the pain and discomfort I had prior to the surgery. Anywho - I went to the doctor and he wants to cut again. Unlike CT, these surgeons go straight for the scalpel without trying therapy. Trying as I might, I didn't want to see God in it. If you are a praying person, you see Him in everything regardless of your denomination or religious beliefs - He is at work in every area of our lives.
One of my daughters has her own little catch phrase when I ask a question - "I'm just saying" That phrase brought me all the back to when I was a young boy growing up in the projects. It's the young people's way of gossiping about something. When I was young I would hear the adults say: "quiet as it's kept" or "word has it" or "they said." I have always wondered who "they" are.
Anyway. Like I was saying before - kids today. You never have to go to far to see kids in action. Just visit your local WalMart and you will see what I mean. Little Billy Bad Butt and Tiny Tantrum Tina putting on a show for the rest of the world. Before I go on, let's not forget the Put-Off Parent who was too stupid to realize that anytime after 8PM is too late for a small child to be in a store for something that could really wait for the next day. Little Billy and Tiny Tina enter the store as quiet as church mice and then it happens. WalMart has a habit of putting things kids want right at the door. You aren't 10 feet inside and then the siren starts out at a low pitch and then increases to an excruciating, ear popping , 150 decibel, fever pitch roar.
Who has to listen to that - the poor senior citizen standing there saying "welcome to WalMart" Now, I understand the marketing aspect of the kid items at the store. It's there to make you buy it so that your kids will be quiet until you cross that aisle as you pass the registers just to run into your next obstacle - the seasonal items. It's made to capture Billy and Tina's attention. The bright colors, the lights shining down on the area, the frenzy of kids flocking over there without a parent in hand, moms and a few dads scrambling to get that item. It took me all the way back to living in Norwalk and enjoying the trip to Stew Leonards(Clover's Farm when I was little) and as you enter - the ice cream stand was the first thing you passed and the second you stepped into the store - you were in the bakery. All of the free samples a kid could want. All kinds of animated figures throughout the store. More free samples at every turn - cookies, bread, juice, cold cuts/deli meats, chips, veggies w/dip, cooked meats and that pool of pistachios that I would take a handful of to walk around the store, and of course - that screaming kid in the cart whose parent parked him in the middle of the aisle to watch the show of larger than life characters do their 5 minute show - literally.
Unlike WalMart, Stews is a one-way street. You have no choice but to follow the flow of customers. Another great marketing gimmick. They suck you in and have very few short cuts to avoid the traffic. Regardless of what store it is, there is an optimal time to take the kids. First thing in the day up until lunch/nap time and immediately before dinner. Other than that, they don't have the attention span, the patience, or tolerance to put up with Put-Off Parent who was too selfish to wait until a better time for the child.
I can't stand to see the kid crying out for attention and Put-Off Parent is in their own world, doing their own thing while the helpless child is pouring out tears and drooling at the mouth. Why are you yelling at them? ? They didn't ask to be at the store or in this world. Don't tell them to shut-up, they are going to yell even louder now that they have your attention. Don't hit him, people might just call Child Services on you while they record the events on their cell phones. If had trained them properly at home, they would know how to behave in the store for you. If you set some ground rules with the child who is able to understand and follow directions - YOU wouldn't look like an idiot who doesn't know how to parent a child.
It amazes me at the number of men who just stand there while the children act like they have lost the sense the good Lord gave them. I see far too many men standing there with their hands in their pockets and listen to the kids disrespect mom. That kid treat dad like a puppet on a string and dad moves at every command trying to talk softly. I overheard one dad say "he didn't take his meds today" That kid doesn't need meds, that kid needs discipline and learn his place as a child. Sometimes I just want to take the kid by the collar and straighten them out. America is over medicated now, and doping up our kids to get them to calm down is not the answer. Instead of being the court jester - be the king you were created to be and rule your home properly.
I do believe that some people need lessons on how to raise a child. I am no expert, but my children know and knew that there is a way to behave when in public. They also knew like I did as kid, if you put me to shame publicly - you will be corrected publicly. I am of the old school where we fix the problem where it was made. Once, I allowed one of my children get away with something by saying ' just wait until I get you home. Threats are not going to change the current situation. Parents need to learn how to Carpe' Diem' - Seize the day. Take control right now before your day it ruined and you walk around feeling like everyone is looking at you. Seize the moment and know your child's schedule. Right now my kids (all 4 of them) know that if we walk into a store - do not walk away from me unless you ask, the ground rules are layed down in the car, in the parking lot before the door opens and foot hits the ground. They know what I expect. We are here for one purpose and one purpose only - don't ask for something we have not budgeted for and if you ask - you will be told a very firm NO. Ask me twice, and we will not be going over the rules, we will not be asking what did we say in the car. All it takes from me now is the look. My face says it all.
And, if you are thinking about trying to call me out - be prepared!!!!!!!! So, before you go say, "I feel sorry for his kids." Let me make you fully aware of a simple facts. I am not their friend - I am their father. We will be friends when they grow up, graduate college and get married. There are way too many kids that are statistics. I have a choice to make - do I want them in the state pen. or at Penn State. I'll take Penn State for $1,000 Alex. It's too hard to be kid today with all the challenges they face, and the media is not helping us at all. They glorify the bad and don't push the positive strong enough. My girls and son know I love them because they are told. I don't always get it right, but I do the best I can to provide a good, safe home, cook nurishing meals, keep clean clothes on them, and discipline with love, discipline, love. Tell them that you love them, tell them what they did wrong and give the consequence, and love on them some more.
It's not always the child's fault for their behavior - it's yours. All of that made my relationship with God change. He has expectations of what He wants His children to be like. If we know Him like we should, our goal would be to make our Father proud. Yes, He is standing their when we fall and picks us up again. We are like toddlers to Him and He keeps teaching us everyday to walk a bit stronger. One thing I do know about Him and have learned the hard way - obedience is better than sacrifice. I'm Just Saying!!!!!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Refocusing
Lately I find myself lying in bed trying to pray to God and thank Him for the events of the day. Before I know it, my mind is all over the place.
I find it extremely hard to stay focused on any one subject for too long. I am finding hard to remember things great and small. The worst part is, I write things down on my calendar and forget to look at it until it's too late. I don't know what's going on inside of me but I do know this. Before the sight in my right eye goes, I will look at the world differently. I will search out the beauty that is there instead of all of the bad things that are perpetuated by our different areas of media.
I recently went out to dinner at a place here in Indian Trail just to find that the old south was alive and well. In spite of the poor service, lack of consideration, rude staff and being deliberately passed over - the bright spot was the one waitress who worked at the former establishment before the new management and new name took over. I find it very ironic that the name of the place and the situation have one thing in common - I was really at a crossroads.
I could have easily called out the staff right there on the spot. But a very wise woman taught me that I should treat people better than the way they treat me. To never let anyone see that you are down, but that as long as I look up and keep my head held high - I win.
I walked out of that place assuring the very kind waitress that we would never come back into that place again, and that I would let my friends know how bad the experience was. Is that going to change anything - no. Is it going to get the people to change the way they think - no. Given that MLK Day is right around the corner, I have to think like he would have. How do I make a difference and show the world that not all people are bad? How do I get them to see that their is a benefit to accepting people for who they are, the financial blessing that they are and that all people have redeeming qualities?
So, after a long hard thought process, I made a trip back to the establishment. I met the owner and explained what happened. Of course he apologized profusely and offered up a free dinner for two. I promised him that I would return and see if there is any difference. The cynical part of me thought in a different light. I called a friend of mine who is a writer for the local paper. I asked him to go in there on the weekend at dinner time and to take his wife with him. I am going to ask some of my other friends to go on the same night and see what happens. Why? Because injustice is no justice at all. When you run a business, you treat all customers the same. Their skin might be different, but the last time I checked - money was still green.
I am the last person to look at someone because of their skin color, and the last one to use the race card. I only go there when I am blatantly being treated different because of it. You can only ignore me for a little while and then it's on and popping.
My eyes are not what they used to be and my mind isn't as sharp as it was two years ago, but my heart knows when something is not right. You will never hear me refer to anyone by their race. I will never put down and entire race for the ignorance of a few. I take all people at face value until you give me a reason not to believe who YOU are - not the entire race. Madea put it best when she quoted Maya Angelou - if people show you who they are - believe them!!!!!
I find it extremely hard to stay focused on any one subject for too long. I am finding hard to remember things great and small. The worst part is, I write things down on my calendar and forget to look at it until it's too late. I don't know what's going on inside of me but I do know this. Before the sight in my right eye goes, I will look at the world differently. I will search out the beauty that is there instead of all of the bad things that are perpetuated by our different areas of media.
I recently went out to dinner at a place here in Indian Trail just to find that the old south was alive and well. In spite of the poor service, lack of consideration, rude staff and being deliberately passed over - the bright spot was the one waitress who worked at the former establishment before the new management and new name took over. I find it very ironic that the name of the place and the situation have one thing in common - I was really at a crossroads.
I could have easily called out the staff right there on the spot. But a very wise woman taught me that I should treat people better than the way they treat me. To never let anyone see that you are down, but that as long as I look up and keep my head held high - I win.
I walked out of that place assuring the very kind waitress that we would never come back into that place again, and that I would let my friends know how bad the experience was. Is that going to change anything - no. Is it going to get the people to change the way they think - no. Given that MLK Day is right around the corner, I have to think like he would have. How do I make a difference and show the world that not all people are bad? How do I get them to see that their is a benefit to accepting people for who they are, the financial blessing that they are and that all people have redeeming qualities?
So, after a long hard thought process, I made a trip back to the establishment. I met the owner and explained what happened. Of course he apologized profusely and offered up a free dinner for two. I promised him that I would return and see if there is any difference. The cynical part of me thought in a different light. I called a friend of mine who is a writer for the local paper. I asked him to go in there on the weekend at dinner time and to take his wife with him. I am going to ask some of my other friends to go on the same night and see what happens. Why? Because injustice is no justice at all. When you run a business, you treat all customers the same. Their skin might be different, but the last time I checked - money was still green.
I am the last person to look at someone because of their skin color, and the last one to use the race card. I only go there when I am blatantly being treated different because of it. You can only ignore me for a little while and then it's on and popping.
My eyes are not what they used to be and my mind isn't as sharp as it was two years ago, but my heart knows when something is not right. You will never hear me refer to anyone by their race. I will never put down and entire race for the ignorance of a few. I take all people at face value until you give me a reason not to believe who YOU are - not the entire race. Madea put it best when she quoted Maya Angelou - if people show you who they are - believe them!!!!!
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