Lately, it seems as though people are becoming more and more rude, disrespectful and uncaring of one another. Before I go to bed at night, and think about the events of the day. The good things that happen as well as the bad. I think about how to make the good become great and the bad much better. I check myself for mistakes mad on my part, what issues I allowed to push me to edge, what triggers the few hairs I have left, to stand up on my neck.
A good friend of mine has this phrase he enjoys saying: "People only do to you what you allow them to do." It's a true statement. If I let you talk to me and treat me any kind of way and say nothing - shame on me. If I believe I am who my Father in heaven says I am, then why should I allow anyone to call me anything else, unless it lines up with His Word.
I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago because I was experiencing pain in my arms and neck again. It feels like the pain and discomfort I had prior to the surgery. Anywho - I went to the doctor and he wants to cut again. Unlike CT, these surgeons go straight for the scalpel without trying therapy. Trying as I might, I didn't want to see God in it. If you are a praying person, you see Him in everything regardless of your denomination or religious beliefs - He is at work in every area of our lives.
One of my daughters has her own little catch phrase when I ask a question - "I'm just saying" That phrase brought me all the back to when I was a young boy growing up in the projects. It's the young people's way of gossiping about something. When I was young I would hear the adults say: "quiet as it's kept" or "word has it" or "they said." I have always wondered who "they" are.
Anyway. Like I was saying before - kids today. You never have to go to far to see kids in action. Just visit your local WalMart and you will see what I mean. Little Billy Bad Butt and Tiny Tantrum Tina putting on a show for the rest of the world. Before I go on, let's not forget the Put-Off Parent who was too stupid to realize that anytime after 8PM is too late for a small child to be in a store for something that could really wait for the next day. Little Billy and Tiny Tina enter the store as quiet as church mice and then it happens. WalMart has a habit of putting things kids want right at the door. You aren't 10 feet inside and then the siren starts out at a low pitch and then increases to an excruciating, ear popping , 150 decibel, fever pitch roar.
Who has to listen to that - the poor senior citizen standing there saying "welcome to WalMart" Now, I understand the marketing aspect of the kid items at the store. It's there to make you buy it so that your kids will be quiet until you cross that aisle as you pass the registers just to run into your next obstacle - the seasonal items. It's made to capture Billy and Tina's attention. The bright colors, the lights shining down on the area, the frenzy of kids flocking over there without a parent in hand, moms and a few dads scrambling to get that item. It took me all the way back to living in Norwalk and enjoying the trip to Stew Leonards(Clover's Farm when I was little) and as you enter - the ice cream stand was the first thing you passed and the second you stepped into the store - you were in the bakery. All of the free samples a kid could want. All kinds of animated figures throughout the store. More free samples at every turn - cookies, bread, juice, cold cuts/deli meats, chips, veggies w/dip, cooked meats and that pool of pistachios that I would take a handful of to walk around the store, and of course - that screaming kid in the cart whose parent parked him in the middle of the aisle to watch the show of larger than life characters do their 5 minute show - literally.
Unlike WalMart, Stews is a one-way street. You have no choice but to follow the flow of customers. Another great marketing gimmick. They suck you in and have very few short cuts to avoid the traffic. Regardless of what store it is, there is an optimal time to take the kids. First thing in the day up until lunch/nap time and immediately before dinner. Other than that, they don't have the attention span, the patience, or tolerance to put up with Put-Off Parent who was too selfish to wait until a better time for the child.
I can't stand to see the kid crying out for attention and Put-Off Parent is in their own world, doing their own thing while the helpless child is pouring out tears and drooling at the mouth. Why are you yelling at them? ? They didn't ask to be at the store or in this world. Don't tell them to shut-up, they are going to yell even louder now that they have your attention. Don't hit him, people might just call Child Services on you while they record the events on their cell phones. If had trained them properly at home, they would know how to behave in the store for you. If you set some ground rules with the child who is able to understand and follow directions - YOU wouldn't look like an idiot who doesn't know how to parent a child.
It amazes me at the number of men who just stand there while the children act like they have lost the sense the good Lord gave them. I see far too many men standing there with their hands in their pockets and listen to the kids disrespect mom. That kid treat dad like a puppet on a string and dad moves at every command trying to talk softly. I overheard one dad say "he didn't take his meds today" That kid doesn't need meds, that kid needs discipline and learn his place as a child. Sometimes I just want to take the kid by the collar and straighten them out. America is over medicated now, and doping up our kids to get them to calm down is not the answer. Instead of being the court jester - be the king you were created to be and rule your home properly.
I do believe that some people need lessons on how to raise a child. I am no expert, but my children know and knew that there is a way to behave when in public. They also knew like I did as kid, if you put me to shame publicly - you will be corrected publicly. I am of the old school where we fix the problem where it was made. Once, I allowed one of my children get away with something by saying ' just wait until I get you home. Threats are not going to change the current situation. Parents need to learn how to Carpe' Diem' - Seize the day. Take control right now before your day it ruined and you walk around feeling like everyone is looking at you. Seize the moment and know your child's schedule. Right now my kids (all 4 of them) know that if we walk into a store - do not walk away from me unless you ask, the ground rules are layed down in the car, in the parking lot before the door opens and foot hits the ground. They know what I expect. We are here for one purpose and one purpose only - don't ask for something we have not budgeted for and if you ask - you will be told a very firm NO. Ask me twice, and we will not be going over the rules, we will not be asking what did we say in the car. All it takes from me now is the look. My face says it all.
And, if you are thinking about trying to call me out - be prepared!!!!!!!! So, before you go say, "I feel sorry for his kids." Let me make you fully aware of a simple facts. I am not their friend - I am their father. We will be friends when they grow up, graduate college and get married. There are way too many kids that are statistics. I have a choice to make - do I want them in the state pen. or at Penn State. I'll take Penn State for $1,000 Alex. It's too hard to be kid today with all the challenges they face, and the media is not helping us at all. They glorify the bad and don't push the positive strong enough. My girls and son know I love them because they are told. I don't always get it right, but I do the best I can to provide a good, safe home, cook nurishing meals, keep clean clothes on them, and discipline with love, discipline, love. Tell them that you love them, tell them what they did wrong and give the consequence, and love on them some more.
It's not always the child's fault for their behavior - it's yours. All of that made my relationship with God change. He has expectations of what He wants His children to be like. If we know Him like we should, our goal would be to make our Father proud. Yes, He is standing their when we fall and picks us up again. We are like toddlers to Him and He keeps teaching us everyday to walk a bit stronger. One thing I do know about Him and have learned the hard way - obedience is better than sacrifice. I'm Just Saying!!!!!
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