Didn't realize how much some people look for my posts. I have been very busy trying to keep up with doctors, looking for a job and being creative with making my meds last until I can get more.
I had the longest discussion with one of my recruiters. He kept promising me an interview with a large air compressor company right over the border in SC. After two weeks of delays, I finally asked him a question that needed to be addressed. "Did you bring me in to meet your weekly quota of interviews, and does the job really exist?" I could feel his face change as his voice changed over the phone.
Everything in me knew I was correct in my assumption, and everything in me wanted to call the company and ask if the position was available. Not wanting to ruin two relationships, I left well enough - alone. I feel like I have wasted my time talking with this guy. Parking uptown Charlotte is not cheap - and I sat in his office for 2 hours while he "sold" me on this company. I got my hopes up and my excitement was building as I looked forward to the interview process. I came home, did my background work on the company, refreshed myself on the job requirements so that I knew what I was talking about.
There are days when I sit back and wonder how I can keep the lights on, food on the tables, a roof over our heads and clean clothes on our bodies. It is nothing short of God's provision. His Word is true - He will not see His righteous forsaken, nor His seed begging bread. He continues to provide all of our needs. When I think all hope is lost - He steps in and shows Himself strong.
Anyway, I missed a lot of things over the past weeks. My god-daughter was dedicated and I couldn't attend because of a doctor's appointment that could not get changed for reasons I can't talk about. My 25th class reunion and Thanksgiving with my family in CT - all did not happen because of doctors. One doctor has the nerve to walk into the room with an attitude because he had to open his office on Wed.. He said to me "let's get this over with because I had places I should have been."
After my head stopped spinning, I quickly reminded him that I didn't ask him to open his office, that he is a specialist - therefore he made the choice to be open, and I still had to write an evaluation of my visit. I walked out there with such a headache. I went to my therapist and he wanted me to take another pill. He gave me a months worth of samples. After taking one pill - I stopped. Anything that makes me feel like I am in the clouds - can't be good. I want to be stress-less not a crack head. So, I went back to the cd that my insurance sent, and I sit for 20 minutes a day and relax, relate, release all of the stress. Trust me, it works.
I did have a great few days at home with my wife and kids. This is the first time in my life that we didn't have a house full of guests on Thanksgiving. I honestly can't remember not having people over. Family is funny. I tried to meet up with my relative here in the Charlotte area and everybody was staying home. So, we just lit the fireplace, cooked with the kids, had one friend over, and stayed home. It was really good.
Friday, one of my Sunday School kids asked us to come over to have dinner with her family. They are a great group of people. We had an amazing time getting to know them. These kids are so respectful, mannerly and love their parents. I appreciate that the dad didn't care that we were in the house when he corrected his son in front of us. Some parents put up a front and then deal with it later - not him - he is like me, correct you where you made the mistake.
I am so thankful to God for the people he has placed in my life. I love doing what I can for others. Speaking of, I need to get started on the Red Velvet cookies that I promised to make. These things are so good, and I put a white chocolate drizzle on top of them with a hint of cream cheese. I was honored when I was asked to make them.
So this week is back to reality. Back to standing at the bus stop at 6:30 AM, back to preparing dinners and helping with homework. Back to doing homework and trying to help with projects. Time to figure out Christmas gifts and mailing out cards. Time to get our Kwanzaa crafts and projects in order. I love this time of year.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Kids at Church
It's been several days since I've taken time to sit and write.
I have been praying about the way I see kids acting today - especially at church. I look at them and after hearing their stories, it's no wonder why the do what they do. Their homes are a mess, mom and dad are putting on an act in front of people, and the kids are walking around looking for attention in all of the wrong ways.
The problem isn't just the kid, it's the parents and the lack of parenting skills. At no time is it o.k. to be rude, disrespectful and mean toward other people. Too many kids have cell phones with internet access, picture text ability and video ability. I sit back and wonder if anyone has told these kids that what you put on the internet stays there forever. Your sexting, barely dressed pictures, obscene status and all the rest stays there forever - yet these kids post things as though they are going to vanish into thin air.
My kids try to push the envelope at times and when I see it - I am all over it like a father Lion protecting his little babies. I don't care that my oldest 19 and she is considered an "adult". She needs to know that there is a level of respect that she needs to set for herself so that men don't look at her as a cheap tramp that they can take advantage of. No, the picture is not cute enough to put out there for others to see. You being on vacation with your family at the beach doesn't mean you can take something and us it as your profile picture.
As Christian parents, it our job to raise these kids in a God-fearing way of life. And by that, I mean in a respectful way. Why is it so easy for our kids to talk to each other any kind of way, give themselves away so easily, hurt each other so easily and act like human life is meaningless? Does social media have anything to do with it? Does music play a part? Does TV and reality show (what a joke) play a part? Does the government taking away parents rights to raise children without spanking play a part? Are parents just afraid of the their kids?
All of this and more play a part. It is hard enough to raise small children - try raising a sr. high kid and one in college. If I get one more headache, tightening of the chest, dizzy or shortness of breath - it will be too soon. This is the hardest job. I do not always enjoy re-teaching the same lessons over and over again. Everyone tells me that it gets easier the older they get. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids - but I am stressing raising young ladies. When Billy Bad Butt thinks he can talk to her any kind of way in front of me - I lose my mind on him. I don't want him thinking he can talk to her that way in my presence and don't do it when I'm not around. If he is, she needs to find someone else. No person is worth your self esteem, self respect, the value that I have placed in you, the time it took to groom you into a young lady, the years of validation, or the many nights of prayer for you to get a good God-fearing man in your life.
So, what got me on this rant? I saw a kid at church tell her parents that they could go home and she would be there sometime that night. She was going out with some friends who picked her up after church. When they asked her where they were going - the response was - you don't need to know, see you when I see you. My first response was a look of disbelief. Secondly, my mouth dropped open when they said - she will be fine. Third, I would have had her by the roots of her hair with one hand, while I was ripping her apart with the other. They didn't even know the kids she got in the car with, they don't go to any church and the girl was only 15. I don't want to turn on the news one day and see them wrapped around some pole and people in the background saying "she came from such a good home" A good home doesn't mean good parenting.
Wake up, smell the coffee and take ownership of your kids!!!!!!!!!!
I have been praying about the way I see kids acting today - especially at church. I look at them and after hearing their stories, it's no wonder why the do what they do. Their homes are a mess, mom and dad are putting on an act in front of people, and the kids are walking around looking for attention in all of the wrong ways.
The problem isn't just the kid, it's the parents and the lack of parenting skills. At no time is it o.k. to be rude, disrespectful and mean toward other people. Too many kids have cell phones with internet access, picture text ability and video ability. I sit back and wonder if anyone has told these kids that what you put on the internet stays there forever. Your sexting, barely dressed pictures, obscene status and all the rest stays there forever - yet these kids post things as though they are going to vanish into thin air.
My kids try to push the envelope at times and when I see it - I am all over it like a father Lion protecting his little babies. I don't care that my oldest 19 and she is considered an "adult". She needs to know that there is a level of respect that she needs to set for herself so that men don't look at her as a cheap tramp that they can take advantage of. No, the picture is not cute enough to put out there for others to see. You being on vacation with your family at the beach doesn't mean you can take something and us it as your profile picture.
As Christian parents, it our job to raise these kids in a God-fearing way of life. And by that, I mean in a respectful way. Why is it so easy for our kids to talk to each other any kind of way, give themselves away so easily, hurt each other so easily and act like human life is meaningless? Does social media have anything to do with it? Does music play a part? Does TV and reality show (what a joke) play a part? Does the government taking away parents rights to raise children without spanking play a part? Are parents just afraid of the their kids?
All of this and more play a part. It is hard enough to raise small children - try raising a sr. high kid and one in college. If I get one more headache, tightening of the chest, dizzy or shortness of breath - it will be too soon. This is the hardest job. I do not always enjoy re-teaching the same lessons over and over again. Everyone tells me that it gets easier the older they get. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids - but I am stressing raising young ladies. When Billy Bad Butt thinks he can talk to her any kind of way in front of me - I lose my mind on him. I don't want him thinking he can talk to her that way in my presence and don't do it when I'm not around. If he is, she needs to find someone else. No person is worth your self esteem, self respect, the value that I have placed in you, the time it took to groom you into a young lady, the years of validation, or the many nights of prayer for you to get a good God-fearing man in your life.
So, what got me on this rant? I saw a kid at church tell her parents that they could go home and she would be there sometime that night. She was going out with some friends who picked her up after church. When they asked her where they were going - the response was - you don't need to know, see you when I see you. My first response was a look of disbelief. Secondly, my mouth dropped open when they said - she will be fine. Third, I would have had her by the roots of her hair with one hand, while I was ripping her apart with the other. They didn't even know the kids she got in the car with, they don't go to any church and the girl was only 15. I don't want to turn on the news one day and see them wrapped around some pole and people in the background saying "she came from such a good home" A good home doesn't mean good parenting.
Wake up, smell the coffee and take ownership of your kids!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Music Calms the Savage Beast
Let me explain something. I am not crazy, I am not stupid, I am not lost. I am venting how I feel. I am at a place in my life where I need to let people know how I REALLY feel about how they treat me and others. No matter how you slice it - ugly IS ugly, and how you treat people will come back to you. The problem is that people take your kindness for weakness and try to manipulate situations to their own advantage.
At some point in our lives, we must each decide when enough is enough. I reached the breaking point and at times I come across as someone who doesn't care. Wrong, I am letting my yes be yes and my no be no. A good friend of mine has a bunch of positive quotes hanging in his office. I thought about that - and it makes sense. You are what you think you are. If you don't feed your mind something worthwhile and edifying, you will wither away to nothingness.
God said He knows the plans He has for us. He wants me to have a future and a hope, he has plans to prosper and not harm me. Knowing that my eyes are the portal to my soul, my mind must be the portal to my spirit. So, I began to feed my mind last night. I found myself in a place of worship. I sat back and listened to a lot of gospel, contemporary Christian and Christian jazz music. I could literally feel the stress leaving my body. I was so relaxed and the junk leaving my mind.
The strange thing is this, there isn't that much music today that will take you to the throne room. I had to go back to the music of the 80's and 90's to find something that would break the tense atmosphere. Music that spoke directly to your situation from singers who knew how to minister. Music today is sold for the beat and for what they can take from the worldly sound and sugar coat it with the Name of Jesus.
Don't get me wrong, there is some really good music out there today. But nothing touches me like the older sound. Back in the day, whole choirs would be caught up in worship, the musicians had to stop playing because the Holy Spirit was all over the church, and people were not in a hurry to get home. How I long for those days when we sacrificed our time to the Lord.
I sat in my chair in my home office and I looked at my wall. It's covered with the Names of Jesus, what that name means and where to find it in the scriptures. So why didn't it appear to have no affect on me? Like our everyday lives - I had that wall to my back instead in front of me where I could look at it everyday. I know He has my back, but when I put Him behind me, that's different. So now, I can see Him, His Names and what He means to me.
I was listening to Daryl Coley (best male voice in gospel) sing "Sovereign" with Wilimington Chester Mass Choir - and the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and the stress level increased again. I didn't answer the phone, I didn't let it go to the answering machine - I hit a button that allows it to hang up the call. I don't want to speak to another person about changing phone services, do a survey, do a Gallup pole, speak to a bill collector. I can't stand the feeling in the pit of my stomach when the phone rings. It took me a minute to get my mind back on God. But when I did, what an amazing feeling. I stopped thinking about everything for 5 minutes of peace. When it appears that there is no justice and no peace in your life, it's time to get a to a place where you can know justice and know peace.
Madea said it best - the one place on earth you should have peace and rest, is in your house. If you don't, make some changes. I am working on ME, and I am doing it for ME. I have 4 wonderful children and an amazing wife. I have family and friends that love and care for me. Most of all, I have a God who will never leave me nor forsake me. My physical body may not be doing all that well, but He still dwells within me. All I can do now is pray and ask Him to help me clean it out to make more room for Him.
Get your favorite music, a comfortable chair, some pj's, a hot cup of coffee or tea, dim the lights and let the music take you away. If you are married, just sit together and listen - don't say one word, relax and let it go.
At some point in our lives, we must each decide when enough is enough. I reached the breaking point and at times I come across as someone who doesn't care. Wrong, I am letting my yes be yes and my no be no. A good friend of mine has a bunch of positive quotes hanging in his office. I thought about that - and it makes sense. You are what you think you are. If you don't feed your mind something worthwhile and edifying, you will wither away to nothingness.
God said He knows the plans He has for us. He wants me to have a future and a hope, he has plans to prosper and not harm me. Knowing that my eyes are the portal to my soul, my mind must be the portal to my spirit. So, I began to feed my mind last night. I found myself in a place of worship. I sat back and listened to a lot of gospel, contemporary Christian and Christian jazz music. I could literally feel the stress leaving my body. I was so relaxed and the junk leaving my mind.
The strange thing is this, there isn't that much music today that will take you to the throne room. I had to go back to the music of the 80's and 90's to find something that would break the tense atmosphere. Music that spoke directly to your situation from singers who knew how to minister. Music today is sold for the beat and for what they can take from the worldly sound and sugar coat it with the Name of Jesus.
Don't get me wrong, there is some really good music out there today. But nothing touches me like the older sound. Back in the day, whole choirs would be caught up in worship, the musicians had to stop playing because the Holy Spirit was all over the church, and people were not in a hurry to get home. How I long for those days when we sacrificed our time to the Lord.
I sat in my chair in my home office and I looked at my wall. It's covered with the Names of Jesus, what that name means and where to find it in the scriptures. So why didn't it appear to have no affect on me? Like our everyday lives - I had that wall to my back instead in front of me where I could look at it everyday. I know He has my back, but when I put Him behind me, that's different. So now, I can see Him, His Names and what He means to me.
I was listening to Daryl Coley (best male voice in gospel) sing "Sovereign" with Wilimington Chester Mass Choir - and the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and the stress level increased again. I didn't answer the phone, I didn't let it go to the answering machine - I hit a button that allows it to hang up the call. I don't want to speak to another person about changing phone services, do a survey, do a Gallup pole, speak to a bill collector. I can't stand the feeling in the pit of my stomach when the phone rings. It took me a minute to get my mind back on God. But when I did, what an amazing feeling. I stopped thinking about everything for 5 minutes of peace. When it appears that there is no justice and no peace in your life, it's time to get a to a place where you can know justice and know peace.
Madea said it best - the one place on earth you should have peace and rest, is in your house. If you don't, make some changes. I am working on ME, and I am doing it for ME. I have 4 wonderful children and an amazing wife. I have family and friends that love and care for me. Most of all, I have a God who will never leave me nor forsake me. My physical body may not be doing all that well, but He still dwells within me. All I can do now is pray and ask Him to help me clean it out to make more room for Him.
Get your favorite music, a comfortable chair, some pj's, a hot cup of coffee or tea, dim the lights and let the music take you away. If you are married, just sit together and listen - don't say one word, relax and let it go.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Being In His Will
I had a friend of mine - whom I love dearly as if he were my own brother - call and ask me a very timely question. When he said it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He asked me if I was in the will of God. Did I think my move to NC was the right time, do I have answers about my health issues and the job issue.
I never looked at things from that perspective. I know that God told me to move down here over 7 years ago and He released us to move 3 years ago. So, why all of the health issues? Why no job yet? Why the stress? Am I walking in His will for my life. I should have been leading a church by now and I know that. I should have started working in the church a long time ago - and I know that. There are a million - "I should have" moments that we all deal with .
Last night at church the preacher talked about a similar topic. He said one thing that I did not agree with. He said that God puts us in situations. I beg to differ - He allows us to be in situations. The Lord never puts anything that is against His character, upon His people. He didn't put Job in the circumstances that he faced - He allowed Job to be placed there. When Job went through his trials, the Lord to satan not to touch Job's soul.
He talked about how people have lost jobs, about to lose homes, seem to have no hope, family problems in the home, and the list goes on. In spite of all of that, we should still give God the praise. He used the example of a young lady in our church who is in a wheelchair for all of her life. She has never walked a day in her life, but she does have the best attitude of anyone I know. She is always on a "high" with life. She is grateful for every moment - nothing bothers her, and she does give the best hugs.
I thought about all of that last night. Am I in the will of the Lord? Am I doing what He wants me to do? Why don't things seem to work out for me anymore? It amazes me that I still get calls from headhunters in CT and now I being ignored by the recruiters here in NC. I was all excited about a job interview that never happened. The recruiter isn't answering my calls, or responding to my emails. I would stop into his office, but it costs $12 to park Uptown Charlotte where his office is located - I could get food for the family with that.
His will - should I go back to CT? There are demons there that I don't ever want to deal with again. People that I don't care to see anymore. People that I wish I could see everyday. My past is there, and it needs to stay there. So why I am getting interview calls? There are several open doors up there. I could commute to CT during the week and come back to my wife and kids on the weekends. I have considered it, and I still am.
I haven't been writing lately, not for anything, it's just that I haven't been in the mood.
I never looked at things from that perspective. I know that God told me to move down here over 7 years ago and He released us to move 3 years ago. So, why all of the health issues? Why no job yet? Why the stress? Am I walking in His will for my life. I should have been leading a church by now and I know that. I should have started working in the church a long time ago - and I know that. There are a million - "I should have" moments that we all deal with .
Last night at church the preacher talked about a similar topic. He said one thing that I did not agree with. He said that God puts us in situations. I beg to differ - He allows us to be in situations. The Lord never puts anything that is against His character, upon His people. He didn't put Job in the circumstances that he faced - He allowed Job to be placed there. When Job went through his trials, the Lord to satan not to touch Job's soul.
He talked about how people have lost jobs, about to lose homes, seem to have no hope, family problems in the home, and the list goes on. In spite of all of that, we should still give God the praise. He used the example of a young lady in our church who is in a wheelchair for all of her life. She has never walked a day in her life, but she does have the best attitude of anyone I know. She is always on a "high" with life. She is grateful for every moment - nothing bothers her, and she does give the best hugs.
I thought about all of that last night. Am I in the will of the Lord? Am I doing what He wants me to do? Why don't things seem to work out for me anymore? It amazes me that I still get calls from headhunters in CT and now I being ignored by the recruiters here in NC. I was all excited about a job interview that never happened. The recruiter isn't answering my calls, or responding to my emails. I would stop into his office, but it costs $12 to park Uptown Charlotte where his office is located - I could get food for the family with that.
His will - should I go back to CT? There are demons there that I don't ever want to deal with again. People that I don't care to see anymore. People that I wish I could see everyday. My past is there, and it needs to stay there. So why I am getting interview calls? There are several open doors up there. I could commute to CT during the week and come back to my wife and kids on the weekends. I have considered it, and I still am.
I haven't been writing lately, not for anything, it's just that I haven't been in the mood.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Try, Try Again
Do you ever reach a point of just wanting to give up? People tell you over and over again "your blessing is just around the corner" Being a Christian for over 20 years has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I wouldn't give up on Jesus for anything in this world. I am blessed every single day of my life. Just waking up is worth my time in prayer. Having a loving wife and kids who love me - puts a smile on my face.
Every day for the past 2.5 years, I have done nothing but try to find a job, try to work things out with prayer, try to get help for my family, try to talk things out with other people, try to be the best scout I can be, try to lead my youth class with integrity and character. You get the picture, I try over and over again.
So, do I give up? Of course not. Do I believe the blessing is just around the corner? Yes. It just seems like it's a long walk to the corner, and when you turn that one, the next corner seems far off. Don't get me wrong, I am not discouraged - I am being real with myself.
Life isn't always going to go the way I want it to go. Sometimes it's just good to see results once in a while. God is still performing miracles and wonders. I could use a miracle right about now. My friend Adam keeps reminding me to just "do your best" You know what? He's right!!!! All I can do is my best. But when that phone rings and I have to explain again that I do not have a job to pay that bill - all I can do is try my best. If the money isn't there, it just isn't there. You can't get blood from a rock, and you can't make money appear in the bank.
Right now, my doctors and I are in the midst of some very tough decisions that will have lasting repercussions on my family life. I don't know if the quality of my life is going to change, if we will have to make further sacrifices, or if I need to make more lifestyle changes.
No matter what, I have to try and try again until the change come.
Every day for the past 2.5 years, I have done nothing but try to find a job, try to work things out with prayer, try to get help for my family, try to talk things out with other people, try to be the best scout I can be, try to lead my youth class with integrity and character. You get the picture, I try over and over again.
So, do I give up? Of course not. Do I believe the blessing is just around the corner? Yes. It just seems like it's a long walk to the corner, and when you turn that one, the next corner seems far off. Don't get me wrong, I am not discouraged - I am being real with myself.
Life isn't always going to go the way I want it to go. Sometimes it's just good to see results once in a while. God is still performing miracles and wonders. I could use a miracle right about now. My friend Adam keeps reminding me to just "do your best" You know what? He's right!!!! All I can do is my best. But when that phone rings and I have to explain again that I do not have a job to pay that bill - all I can do is try my best. If the money isn't there, it just isn't there. You can't get blood from a rock, and you can't make money appear in the bank.
Right now, my doctors and I are in the midst of some very tough decisions that will have lasting repercussions on my family life. I don't know if the quality of my life is going to change, if we will have to make further sacrifices, or if I need to make more lifestyle changes.
No matter what, I have to try and try again until the change come.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Talk Radio - Romeo, Romeo Where For Art Thou?
Yesterday I listened to a talk radio show that a friend of mine has up in CT. Her topic was dealing with men who have fathered children and are (now) Christians. I was really enjoying the conversation from the men who called in and answered her questions with such openness and honesty. You could really hear their hearts as to why they didn't marry the woman, taking care of the child, their part in protecting themselves so they wouldn't become fathers, their relationships with the mothers, and their walk with the Lord now and how it relates to their past & how to move forward.
It was refreshing to hear the man's side of things. No, I am not defending the man is a jerk and doesn't care how many children he fathers. What I am saying is, I have a new found respect for the man who wants to do what's right without being forced by the court to take care of his responsibility. She didn't have the child alone, therefore - do your best to do your part.
While I as listening, one of the callers made a point of talking about the "angry mother syndrome" She is upset because he didn't want to marry her and it appears she used the kids against him, and had nothing good to say about him to the child. The Word of God tells us that it would be better that we marry than burn with lust. What happens when you are aren't saved and your flesh burns with lust and desire for the other person? You have children that were not planned. One of my favorite shows is Everybody Loves Raymond - talk about disfunction personified. This family is as jacked up as it gets. In one episode when Marie thinks that Robert's girlfriend is a "good girl" at 31 years old - the truth comes out about her.
Frank let's it out that they didn't have plans to get married, they had to get married because Marie was pregnant. Later, they lie to Robert about when his birthdate was and the lies continued to build from there. So, does God hold us accountable for the things we didn't know before we got saved? Does he expect us to go back and make things right with that woman? What is He looking for from me now? How do I restore a relationship with the kid(s) that I don't know?
There are more than enough questions to answer on this subject. Dads, go and make things right with your kids. Being one of those kids, I can tell you it's never too late to get back some of what you lost. You don't want your children to grow up, have families and you never know your grandchildren. From the child's point of view - what hurts most is knowing that your dad lives less than 30 miles away and they never make the effort to spend time with you - if the mother allows him too.
You see, I don't think there is any excuse for not spending time with your kids. The laws are now in place to protect the dads who want to be with their kids. The courts will give you the time IF you have the desire to the father the kid deserves. At some point, dad and mom need to find common ground and form a respectful relationship for the sake of the kids. Remember, you got to the point of not controlling your flesh and they were born as a result.
I believe I especially enjoyed hearing why they didn't get married to these women. One caller was very blunt when he told her that he didn't want to marry her. One of my associates said, he only wanted to have sex. Another said that she said she wanted to have his kid. Now, this speaks to several things. If you play with fire, expect to get burned. Are we not teaching our children that their bodies are a gift to be saved until marriage? Are we validating them so that they don't run into the arms of someone who is telling them what they want to hear? I found it compelling that a girl would tell a young man that I want to have your baby and he being stupid enough to do it. There are lifelong implications that go along with having a child. Babies are not little dolls that you can put on a shelf and leave there until you are ready to play with it again.
My turn. I could have just as easily been in the same position. Before I got saved - FOR REAL, and not play with God, I had a close call with a young lady. I knew that I should have taken responsibility for my actions. I was taught before going to college that I needed to use condoms if I was going to engage in sex. My uncles taught me not to fall into the trap of becoming a teenage father. The biggest lie ever told to young men is - "it doesn't feel the same if you wear one" First of all, I had no business having sex when my mind should have been focused on my education. What if I had a kid at a young age? Did I care enough about her to want to marry her? Did I even have an idea of what being in love was? Yes, it was just my flesh wanting to be fulfilled. It wasn't until the night I tried to kill myself that I gave my entire heart to God, asked for forgiveness for my mistakes and sins, that my flesh fell in line with His Word.
If the truth be told, I had no plans to EVER marry that young woman. That scare was one of the worst experiences of my life. She proved herself to me though, she would sleep with any guy that smiled at her - I should have seen the clues.
Once, I came home and gave my heart to God - my flesh fell in line. It was a sermon - Gone Too Far, Stayed Too Long. The pastor preached it and it spoke directly to me.
Romeo, Romeo where for art thou? Romeo is at home wondering how to make things right. Romeo is praying to God to get his heart right. Romeo wants to let her know that he should have done his part to protect both of them. Romeo is now a saved young man and he is going to give that child the father is a stand up guy. He is not going to allow an angry mother to place a wedge between him and the kid. He wants the kid to know that he/she is loved. He is going to support the kid and ask the court to enforce his rights to visit with and have overnighters with his kid. He is going to seek the Lord for direction. And, if he is a teen father - he will ask his family to teach him how to take care of his kid.
So, good for you my friend. You have a great talk show. Keep touching those areas that the four walled churches are not speaking about. Your show reminds me of Isaiah 6:6-8 when the angel took the tongs from the fire and touched his lips to cleanse him. Your topics are timely and your show structure is perfect. Check her out on Wednesday's at 1PM by clicking on the following link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/
It was refreshing to hear the man's side of things. No, I am not defending the man is a jerk and doesn't care how many children he fathers. What I am saying is, I have a new found respect for the man who wants to do what's right without being forced by the court to take care of his responsibility. She didn't have the child alone, therefore - do your best to do your part.
While I as listening, one of the callers made a point of talking about the "angry mother syndrome" She is upset because he didn't want to marry her and it appears she used the kids against him, and had nothing good to say about him to the child. The Word of God tells us that it would be better that we marry than burn with lust. What happens when you are aren't saved and your flesh burns with lust and desire for the other person? You have children that were not planned. One of my favorite shows is Everybody Loves Raymond - talk about disfunction personified. This family is as jacked up as it gets. In one episode when Marie thinks that Robert's girlfriend is a "good girl" at 31 years old - the truth comes out about her.
Frank let's it out that they didn't have plans to get married, they had to get married because Marie was pregnant. Later, they lie to Robert about when his birthdate was and the lies continued to build from there. So, does God hold us accountable for the things we didn't know before we got saved? Does he expect us to go back and make things right with that woman? What is He looking for from me now? How do I restore a relationship with the kid(s) that I don't know?
There are more than enough questions to answer on this subject. Dads, go and make things right with your kids. Being one of those kids, I can tell you it's never too late to get back some of what you lost. You don't want your children to grow up, have families and you never know your grandchildren. From the child's point of view - what hurts most is knowing that your dad lives less than 30 miles away and they never make the effort to spend time with you - if the mother allows him too.
You see, I don't think there is any excuse for not spending time with your kids. The laws are now in place to protect the dads who want to be with their kids. The courts will give you the time IF you have the desire to the father the kid deserves. At some point, dad and mom need to find common ground and form a respectful relationship for the sake of the kids. Remember, you got to the point of not controlling your flesh and they were born as a result.
I believe I especially enjoyed hearing why they didn't get married to these women. One caller was very blunt when he told her that he didn't want to marry her. One of my associates said, he only wanted to have sex. Another said that she said she wanted to have his kid. Now, this speaks to several things. If you play with fire, expect to get burned. Are we not teaching our children that their bodies are a gift to be saved until marriage? Are we validating them so that they don't run into the arms of someone who is telling them what they want to hear? I found it compelling that a girl would tell a young man that I want to have your baby and he being stupid enough to do it. There are lifelong implications that go along with having a child. Babies are not little dolls that you can put on a shelf and leave there until you are ready to play with it again.
My turn. I could have just as easily been in the same position. Before I got saved - FOR REAL, and not play with God, I had a close call with a young lady. I knew that I should have taken responsibility for my actions. I was taught before going to college that I needed to use condoms if I was going to engage in sex. My uncles taught me not to fall into the trap of becoming a teenage father. The biggest lie ever told to young men is - "it doesn't feel the same if you wear one" First of all, I had no business having sex when my mind should have been focused on my education. What if I had a kid at a young age? Did I care enough about her to want to marry her? Did I even have an idea of what being in love was? Yes, it was just my flesh wanting to be fulfilled. It wasn't until the night I tried to kill myself that I gave my entire heart to God, asked for forgiveness for my mistakes and sins, that my flesh fell in line with His Word.
If the truth be told, I had no plans to EVER marry that young woman. That scare was one of the worst experiences of my life. She proved herself to me though, she would sleep with any guy that smiled at her - I should have seen the clues.
Once, I came home and gave my heart to God - my flesh fell in line. It was a sermon - Gone Too Far, Stayed Too Long. The pastor preached it and it spoke directly to me.
Romeo, Romeo where for art thou? Romeo is at home wondering how to make things right. Romeo is praying to God to get his heart right. Romeo wants to let her know that he should have done his part to protect both of them. Romeo is now a saved young man and he is going to give that child the father is a stand up guy. He is not going to allow an angry mother to place a wedge between him and the kid. He wants the kid to know that he/she is loved. He is going to support the kid and ask the court to enforce his rights to visit with and have overnighters with his kid. He is going to seek the Lord for direction. And, if he is a teen father - he will ask his family to teach him how to take care of his kid.
So, good for you my friend. You have a great talk show. Keep touching those areas that the four walled churches are not speaking about. Your show reminds me of Isaiah 6:6-8 when the angel took the tongs from the fire and touched his lips to cleanse him. Your topics are timely and your show structure is perfect. Check her out on Wednesday's at 1PM by clicking on the following link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Scratching My Head
It's no secret that I love North Carolina. I wish I could have moved here earlier in my life. It's a good thing God is in control or I would have messed up a long time ago.
Why am I scratching my round bald head? Even up to today, I am still deciding who to vote for. I told you before that I never vote party line, I vote my heart. I am registered "unaffiliated" and not ashamed of it. For many years when I first learned how to vote, I never did the research on candidates, and just voted as I was told. Thank God for having a mind of my own.
Down here in NC, we get a voters guide that ask all of the candidates the same questions and gives them the opportunity to respond weeks before publications. I am amazed that a person running for public office would not answer the same set of questions posed to every other candidate running for the same office. Even when you go on their website, there is nothing that speaks to questions. They are even given the option of going on the NC Family website and answer the questions, and still no response.
I have watched so many debates, listened to far too many town hall meetings, read page after page of articles (realizing that the media can be one sided) and shook too many cold, clammy hands while looking into a Slick Willy Smile. So, I am scratching my head and looking into the incumbents past voting history to see where they stood. If I lean toward their record, I vote for them. My votes are all over the place right now and I haven't even gone to the polls yet. I do know that NC is a predominantly Republican state. I don't agree with everything they do, but they are starting to "say what the people want to hear" I need to see action and commitment to what you said.
I have filled out the page in the guide that allows you to write down who you want to vote for. I am going to go down the street to the clubhouse and cast my vote. I have asked God to direct my hand and give me the right names to vote for.
Do I want to see a shift in the House and Senate? Do I want to see things continue on the current path and see if the current administration can make a change? Will the President be standing in front of cameras reaching across the aisle? Will the other side of the aisle be in temper tantrum mode because they want their ball and go home? Are we fast becoming the people of Israel asking for "king" that we don't need.
Instead of scratching, I should be praying for God to heal our land. Once you get past all of the mudslinging, can I even see the true character of the people who want to be our leaders. I know we better pray for those who are there now and those to come. Regardless of what color takes over Congress, red or blue, we are still Americans, and we have to come together at some point and get our country back on it's feet. I know that I am not voting for the dude that sent 130K jobs across seas and is now clawing for his job. I hate to say this, but, join the club buddy -jobless and searching.
I love that I can be an American. I can say this with pride - I am committed to doing my part to make this a great country to live in. I will teach my children the value of their vote, and to never miss a chance to cast that ballot. I will teach them that abstaining means you are fine with the way things are and that you can't complain when things don't go your way.
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