These past several years have been the most difficult of my life, and these past few weeks have been the absolute worst of my life. I thought that losing my mom when I was five was the end of life - not so. I thought that losing my brother was the worst thing in life - not so. I thought that my best friend in the world, my sister, she died - that that was the worst thing in life - not so.
You what is the worst thing in life? You spend your life in a marriage that you chose to enter knowing that you weren't ready for it. It's when you have children who turn against you for no real reason. It's feeling lonely in a house full of people and it's you against the world. It's being misunderstood, disrespected, shown no honor, and talked to like you are acquaintances instead of a father. It's the knowing that you walk around on egg shells because you are tired of being corrected and told what the correct answer is, how to say something and what you should have said. It's going to counseling sessions when you know in your heart that it's a done deal. It's when your child overhears a conversation and tells you wife and then lies about it to you, because they overheard your call. Only to later discover you were talking to a male friend about issues and you tell him that you love him for being there for you - like a brother. It's being asked to step aside from the things that you have a passion for until "you resolve your issues" It's having other men tell you that it's going to be alright when they really don't have a clue because they can't be the support system that you need. Yes, even at church. It's going to work each and every day doing the best that you can while you watch those around you break policy, procedure and the process. It's giving people another chance, when you should be giving them to Jesus AGAIN.
I might get a lot of backlash for saying this but you know me, so here it goes. In marriages, the greatest deception is "happy wife, happy life" when it should be "happy spouse, happy house" I say that because we are so conditioned by the world standards to be the spouse to make the vast majority of the compromises. Why are we allowing ourselves to be emasculated and reduced in who God has called us to be. Yes, there is a place for the wife in the marriage. God called you to be the head, so take off the skirt and give it back to her. If we are going to work this together, then let go of your strong will and your drive to change men into what you want them to be, sound like and look like. He is no longer a man, but a puppet on string, and you know exactly what to say, what his triggers are, and how to get an end to your means.
Recently, I was with a group of men and the things that they are challenged with at home, had my head spinning. It's no wonder the Christian households are falling apart. The norm used to be to argue about money, sex, and the kids. Now it's things from how to sit, what you should have said, how you should have said it, I'm right and you are going to change, taking the blame for everything, and on and on and on. We are allowing ourselves to be deceived and manipulated just to stay out of an argument that we just can't win.
Children have discovered how to use these tools very early in life and how to play one parent against the other. They have mastered the art of deception and manipulation and when they can't figure it out, their friends tell them what to do, to get what they want.
We go to work and both (deception and manipulation) get right in the car with us. We know how to tell half truths so that we don't have to deal with the discipline policy. We go on Facebook and are even bold enough to post things when we should be working because we don't have the right work ethic. We play on the sympathy of others so that we can convince them that our home situation is causing our work issues to manifest themselves.
I was recently asked, "why to do you go to church, prayer meeting, bible study and participate/serve" What I want to say is, "to keep my sanity to that I don't hurt you" The truth is, I have hope and faith. It's because of God's grace and mercy that I have not lost my mind and for the most part, my self control. There are days that I want to rip a head off, yell down a neck and reduce someone to a very fine powder. BUT GOD!!! He keeps me from doing what I the things that I am tempted to do. So, deceive and manipulate me once - shame on you. Try it twice and we are going to need a come to Jesus meeting.
