That song has become an anthem. I realize that the more I forget and can't recall, it's not because I am crazy - just a little unwell.
Don't know about other people. But, I can sit and think about something and before I know it, my mind has wandered on several other subjects instead of the one I started out with. It seems to really happen when I want to pray and talk to God. It happens when I reading or listening to music. For some strange reason, I find it very difficult to stay focused. It's like having adult ADD.
I was driving to cub scouts a couple of weeks ago and I forgot how to get there. I was in the right area and drove past the location 3 times. I had to refocus and get it together so that I could get there.
I went to the therapist the other day and we played some games. For the life of me, I don't know if I remembered the right words or pictures that he showed me. All I know is that I do not have the greatest attention span.
Last night I woke up out of my sleep after feeling my body shake. Like I was having convulsions in my sleep. I shook so hard, it woke me up. Maybe it was my trip to the doctor earlier in the day. Anyway, that is my thought for the day. I need to get some rest, the body needs to lay down now - still sore from the doctor yesterday - can you say spinal injection was not fun.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Your Gifts and Talents
The stress of the trying to find good gifts on a budget can take it's toll on a person. You have to think about what they like, what size to buy, what color will look best, if you should wait till after Christmas to get it because you wont' see them for a while - you know the drill.
I was in my car recently, listening to Coco Brother - Corey Condrey on Praise 100.9FM, and he had a guest on that was speaking to the people about your gifts and your talents. The minister on the radio said something that one of my other friends has said to me several times. "Your gift will make room for you" For so many years, I would repeat that scripture and would be wrong every single time. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit it as well. We have all said it, "your gifts will make room for you"
You see, what I missed was this. The word is "gift" singular, not "gifts" plural. What the minister said next blew me away. Since God said your gift will make room - then we must all have a dominant gift. He instructed us to think about or write down all of your gifts and talents and see which one rises to the top of the list. It's the one you are your absolute best at. It's the gift/talent you are know for.
I got to my desk when I got home and began listing all of things that I know I can do well and that I get compliments on most. Cooking/baking kept coming to the top when I trying to force other things in it's place. Therefore, I recently gave a few people some sample cakes in different flavors to try and asked them to consider letting me bake for them.
One of my friends told me that it would be the gift that make a living for me and my family. I look at it like this, every major business in the world had to start somewhere. I will start at home and work my way into a shop. There isn't a bakery in my town, and we sure could use one. I was given a few business name ideas and the one that sits best with me is: Heavenly Scent with the scripture - taste and see that the Lord is good - as my foundation. The upside of living in the bible belt is that I can post scripture anywhere I want to. It will be on my business cards, bags, boxes, website - everywhere I can get it.
I have made wedding cakes in the past, birthday cakes, anniversary cakes, cookies, I am a full service event planner, and much more. I can do this. With the help and guidance of the Lord and the people He places along the way - I WILL DO THIS. I DECLARE THAT MY GIFT WILL MAKE ROOM FOR ME.
Watch out world - I am filling in the dash!!!!!
I was in my car recently, listening to Coco Brother - Corey Condrey on Praise 100.9FM, and he had a guest on that was speaking to the people about your gifts and your talents. The minister on the radio said something that one of my other friends has said to me several times. "Your gift will make room for you" For so many years, I would repeat that scripture and would be wrong every single time. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit it as well. We have all said it, "your gifts will make room for you"
You see, what I missed was this. The word is "gift" singular, not "gifts" plural. What the minister said next blew me away. Since God said your gift will make room - then we must all have a dominant gift. He instructed us to think about or write down all of your gifts and talents and see which one rises to the top of the list. It's the one you are your absolute best at. It's the gift/talent you are know for.
I got to my desk when I got home and began listing all of things that I know I can do well and that I get compliments on most. Cooking/baking kept coming to the top when I trying to force other things in it's place. Therefore, I recently gave a few people some sample cakes in different flavors to try and asked them to consider letting me bake for them.
One of my friends told me that it would be the gift that make a living for me and my family. I look at it like this, every major business in the world had to start somewhere. I will start at home and work my way into a shop. There isn't a bakery in my town, and we sure could use one. I was given a few business name ideas and the one that sits best with me is: Heavenly Scent with the scripture - taste and see that the Lord is good - as my foundation. The upside of living in the bible belt is that I can post scripture anywhere I want to. It will be on my business cards, bags, boxes, website - everywhere I can get it.
I have made wedding cakes in the past, birthday cakes, anniversary cakes, cookies, I am a full service event planner, and much more. I can do this. With the help and guidance of the Lord and the people He places along the way - I WILL DO THIS. I DECLARE THAT MY GIFT WILL MAKE ROOM FOR ME.
Watch out world - I am filling in the dash!!!!!
Monday, December 13, 2010
What's Up With Dads Who Have Sons Who Rule?
There must be something in the water that has no side effects on "some men" Several times in the past few days, I have witnessed the ruling of fathers by their sons. Now, I am the first to say that I do let my son get away with some things because kids have to grow and stretch their boundaries. But, it's something totally different when you son is going to tell you what he is not going to do, that you can't make him do it, and then ignore you while you are talking to him and he answers you by saying "what"
I know as a child, that all it took was this certain look from the adult in the house. It didn't have to be mom or dad - any adult would do. I grew up when the neighbor beat your behind because of what you did and then you got another whipping when your parents got home.
Some dads today let the boy do WHATEVER they want, say WHATEVER they want - and everything is cool. I heard one man say after his boy kicked my son in the stomach on the first day they met each other - "they are just boys being boys" So, I kindly told my boy in front of this father - "if he kicks, hits, bumps or touches you in any way - beat him up" I then turned to the other father and said - afterall - they're just boys being boys, and walked away.
I can be at church and see boys climbing on things - and everyone says something to the boys except for his father. I can be at scouts and one boy will hit another in front of his parent - and hear the parent say - was that an accident or did you do it on purpose? On purpose my foot!!!! That kid just intentionally swung a stick and hit someone, drew blood, laughed and you ask was it an accident. Who is ruling the coop here - the chicks or the rooster?
Just today - I was in WalMart and a boy who should have been in school, told his father "if you don't get it for me, I will tell mom that you talked to that lady over there. You know she will believe me - you did it before" The man never looked at the woman while I was in the store, but the kid had the upper hand, and idiot man fell for it. I stood there with my mouth wide open. He saw me and said - he will do it. Being bold, I asked if he had a cell phone. He did. I told him to call his wife and tell her what the brat was doing and I would vouch for him and tell her what I witnessed. The call was made and the kid was mad because he didn't get his touch screen mp3 - too bad.
Why is that we allow our children to be so disobedient, disrespectful, deceitful, manipulative and the list goes on? If we are raising and training up our children in the fear of the Lord and to honor and respect us as parents - we wouldn't be raising Chucky, Freddie Crooger, and the seed of satan. We have allowed the fear of a phone call to the police stop up from parenting our children. We have given the right to parent over to the schools instead of partnering with them, and we fear Child Services showing up at the door.
Look, when you have done your best to raise them, and they don't want to do what's right - there's the door. If you want to go through your Prodigal Son experience - be my guest. I will love you, pray for you, encourage you. I am not your friend from the playground, I am not your buddy from down the street - I AM DAD. We can be friends later. I have to raise you to survive in this world.
These reality shows have our children thinking that life is one big check/credit card/ATM/cash in a barrel - they are not entitled to have anything expect to have their needs provided for. All of the rest of the things are bonuses for GOOD behavior and GOOD grades,etc.
These boys have to grow up and become the men who lead this world. If they don't know consequences ( the result of an action - good or bad) they will be lost forever.
I know as a child, that all it took was this certain look from the adult in the house. It didn't have to be mom or dad - any adult would do. I grew up when the neighbor beat your behind because of what you did and then you got another whipping when your parents got home.
Some dads today let the boy do WHATEVER they want, say WHATEVER they want - and everything is cool. I heard one man say after his boy kicked my son in the stomach on the first day they met each other - "they are just boys being boys" So, I kindly told my boy in front of this father - "if he kicks, hits, bumps or touches you in any way - beat him up" I then turned to the other father and said - afterall - they're just boys being boys, and walked away.
I can be at church and see boys climbing on things - and everyone says something to the boys except for his father. I can be at scouts and one boy will hit another in front of his parent - and hear the parent say - was that an accident or did you do it on purpose? On purpose my foot!!!! That kid just intentionally swung a stick and hit someone, drew blood, laughed and you ask was it an accident. Who is ruling the coop here - the chicks or the rooster?
Just today - I was in WalMart and a boy who should have been in school, told his father "if you don't get it for me, I will tell mom that you talked to that lady over there. You know she will believe me - you did it before" The man never looked at the woman while I was in the store, but the kid had the upper hand, and idiot man fell for it. I stood there with my mouth wide open. He saw me and said - he will do it. Being bold, I asked if he had a cell phone. He did. I told him to call his wife and tell her what the brat was doing and I would vouch for him and tell her what I witnessed. The call was made and the kid was mad because he didn't get his touch screen mp3 - too bad.
Why is that we allow our children to be so disobedient, disrespectful, deceitful, manipulative and the list goes on? If we are raising and training up our children in the fear of the Lord and to honor and respect us as parents - we wouldn't be raising Chucky, Freddie Crooger, and the seed of satan. We have allowed the fear of a phone call to the police stop up from parenting our children. We have given the right to parent over to the schools instead of partnering with them, and we fear Child Services showing up at the door.
Look, when you have done your best to raise them, and they don't want to do what's right - there's the door. If you want to go through your Prodigal Son experience - be my guest. I will love you, pray for you, encourage you. I am not your friend from the playground, I am not your buddy from down the street - I AM DAD. We can be friends later. I have to raise you to survive in this world.
These reality shows have our children thinking that life is one big check/credit card/ATM/cash in a barrel - they are not entitled to have anything expect to have their needs provided for. All of the rest of the things are bonuses for GOOD behavior and GOOD grades,etc.
These boys have to grow up and become the men who lead this world. If they don't know consequences ( the result of an action - good or bad) they will be lost forever.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Amazing People
I woke up at 5:50 AM like I do every day, put my son on the bus and sat at my computer to print envelopes for Christmas cards. Then it dawned on me, I don't have enough cards to send out to all of the people that my wife and I love and care about.
Before I knew it, the chat window popped up on my screen. It was a former coworker that I absolutely enjoyed working with. After talking for a while, I realized how much I missed working with the team of people at that job. I ws there for 11 years, and those people became family to me. I mean really like family. We genuinely cared about each other.
I recall once that our friend Carol needed a new wheelchair and when I mentioned it to one person, it spread like wildfire and before she knew what hit her, she had a new wheelchair because of the generosity of our work family. I know it is said that we go to work to make a living - not friends. That couldn't be further from the truth at that job.
Those people held me up when my brother and sister died. The rejoiced with me when I got married and blessed us with gifts and offers of kindness when my kids were born. When I moved on to a new job - they were right there to wish me well. It's funny that over the past 12 years, we still feel the same way about each other.
My heart was blessed this morning when I had my chat. Time and distance didn't cause the lines of friendship to be blurred at all. Yes, we have all gotten 12 years older, our children are mostly young adults and off to college or in high school, but it was like we just pick up like we just saw each other yesteray. That is when you know that you have true friends. Your conversations with them still cause you smile and laugh. Even in an electronic conversation, I can hear their voices, see their body language, and feel their presence. You have no idea how good that feels.
Then I looked back at my a picture of my wife, and I thought to myself - "man you are lucky" Who else would put up with me for the past 20 1/2 years. She blessed me with 4 of the greatest kids in the world - even in the trying times - I love them unconditionaly. She knows all of my strengths and weaknesses. I am a blessed man.
Speaking to my friends from college is the same way. They know just what to say, when to say it and they know that they can say what I need to hear - not what I want to hear. So - thank you for being some of my life long friends. Thank you for making college a rewarding experience for me. Thanks for speaking into my life and saying what needs to be said. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me, and allowing me to know you.
I can't believe I am able to say that I have some friends that have been in my life for over 35 years. God brings us full circle with each other. I can recall being in Honeyhill Elementary, West Rocks Middle and Norwalk High Schools with the same people - and we are friends to this day. Yeah, there were some gaps in speaking, but we are friends - not associates.
In some unique way, God keeps us all connected to be a support system to one another. We are all going through something (un)spoken or not. I've come to the realization that no matter what I am dealing with (and it's a lot) someone else is dealing with more. Yeah, I can vent and complain, but then I listen to my friend - and my issues don't seem that bad afterall.
The people in my life are amazing. Each person that I have the honor to call friend - has impacted my life in ways that I can't begin to describe. Their words, their time, their compassion and their hearts - are all gifts given from above. Never despise the day of small begininngs - you never know when you might need to go back and thank someone for helping you climb to the mountain top.
I am a rich man today because of my great wife and family, my friends, and mostly because God is at the center of it all.
Before I knew it, the chat window popped up on my screen. It was a former coworker that I absolutely enjoyed working with. After talking for a while, I realized how much I missed working with the team of people at that job. I ws there for 11 years, and those people became family to me. I mean really like family. We genuinely cared about each other.
I recall once that our friend Carol needed a new wheelchair and when I mentioned it to one person, it spread like wildfire and before she knew what hit her, she had a new wheelchair because of the generosity of our work family. I know it is said that we go to work to make a living - not friends. That couldn't be further from the truth at that job.
Those people held me up when my brother and sister died. The rejoiced with me when I got married and blessed us with gifts and offers of kindness when my kids were born. When I moved on to a new job - they were right there to wish me well. It's funny that over the past 12 years, we still feel the same way about each other.
My heart was blessed this morning when I had my chat. Time and distance didn't cause the lines of friendship to be blurred at all. Yes, we have all gotten 12 years older, our children are mostly young adults and off to college or in high school, but it was like we just pick up like we just saw each other yesteray. That is when you know that you have true friends. Your conversations with them still cause you smile and laugh. Even in an electronic conversation, I can hear their voices, see their body language, and feel their presence. You have no idea how good that feels.
Then I looked back at my a picture of my wife, and I thought to myself - "man you are lucky" Who else would put up with me for the past 20 1/2 years. She blessed me with 4 of the greatest kids in the world - even in the trying times - I love them unconditionaly. She knows all of my strengths and weaknesses. I am a blessed man.
Speaking to my friends from college is the same way. They know just what to say, when to say it and they know that they can say what I need to hear - not what I want to hear. So - thank you for being some of my life long friends. Thank you for making college a rewarding experience for me. Thanks for speaking into my life and saying what needs to be said. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me, and allowing me to know you.
I can't believe I am able to say that I have some friends that have been in my life for over 35 years. God brings us full circle with each other. I can recall being in Honeyhill Elementary, West Rocks Middle and Norwalk High Schools with the same people - and we are friends to this day. Yeah, there were some gaps in speaking, but we are friends - not associates.
In some unique way, God keeps us all connected to be a support system to one another. We are all going through something (un)spoken or not. I've come to the realization that no matter what I am dealing with (and it's a lot) someone else is dealing with more. Yeah, I can vent and complain, but then I listen to my friend - and my issues don't seem that bad afterall.
The people in my life are amazing. Each person that I have the honor to call friend - has impacted my life in ways that I can't begin to describe. Their words, their time, their compassion and their hearts - are all gifts given from above. Never despise the day of small begininngs - you never know when you might need to go back and thank someone for helping you climb to the mountain top.
I am a rich man today because of my great wife and family, my friends, and mostly because God is at the center of it all.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
I Couldn't Sleep At All Last Night
No, not the song. I literally couldn't sleep last night. Every time I would fall asleep I would hear a scripture:
Matthew 13:14-18.
In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: “‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might se with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’[a] 16 But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. 17 For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it. 18 “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means:
I sat down this morning to think about what that means to me, the news shared at last nights leaders meeting at church, and just thinks in general. All of this still has me thinking about the dash. I pray that I am not one of those whose eyes are closed, whose ears don't hear and have hardened hearts. IF I am even close to being one of them- Lord please search me and know me, that I want to know you and desire to be a man after your own heart. On the other hand, I look at it as a blessing. That I have seen, heard and have the heart for Him. That I am tuned in and listening to what He is saying.
I have some serious appointments coming up. I need God to intervene at each and every one of them. Like I said before, I have good and bad days. Today, I have the headache again. I don't know if it's because of the tumor behind my eye or not, but I also have sight - be it impaired - I have sight. As long as I can see the beauty of the world - I am a blessed man.
It is so easy to see the ugliness all around us. But it takes a minute to stand still and look through the filth and see what's underneath all of the grime. When I look at what's going on in the world - it hurts. I listened to a song yesterday - The Question Is - by the Winans. It was written back in the mid 80's and they asked about the problem in Afghanistan and here we are over 20 years later still wondering what's going on over there. The beauty is that women are more free now to be anything they desire.
I thought about what's coming for our youth at church. I thought about the changes to our church staff and how to proceed in praying for them. I almost had a pity party thinking about some things. Then I realized that God will sustain those who lift Him up. He is working all things out for my good and I have to trust Him enough to do it without trying to help Him.
He doesn't require my help - I depend on His. It is only through daily prayer that I am able to keep my head above water as I watch Him walk toward me. Everyday, the vision of Him walking gets more and more clear. I am reaching up and He's standing there reaching down to me. I keep coming up with excuses for why I can't take His hand yet and He patiently stands there waiting.
I am so glad that He has not walked away from me. I couldn't sleep at all last night because I went to bed with too much on my mind when I should have cast all of the days cares on Him. I need to go and see the therapist and talk about what I am dealing with.
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell - love that song.
Matthew 13:14-18.
In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: “‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might se with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’[a] 16 But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. 17 For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it. 18 “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means:
I sat down this morning to think about what that means to me, the news shared at last nights leaders meeting at church, and just thinks in general. All of this still has me thinking about the dash. I pray that I am not one of those whose eyes are closed, whose ears don't hear and have hardened hearts. IF I am even close to being one of them- Lord please search me and know me, that I want to know you and desire to be a man after your own heart. On the other hand, I look at it as a blessing. That I have seen, heard and have the heart for Him. That I am tuned in and listening to what He is saying.
I have some serious appointments coming up. I need God to intervene at each and every one of them. Like I said before, I have good and bad days. Today, I have the headache again. I don't know if it's because of the tumor behind my eye or not, but I also have sight - be it impaired - I have sight. As long as I can see the beauty of the world - I am a blessed man.
It is so easy to see the ugliness all around us. But it takes a minute to stand still and look through the filth and see what's underneath all of the grime. When I look at what's going on in the world - it hurts. I listened to a song yesterday - The Question Is - by the Winans. It was written back in the mid 80's and they asked about the problem in Afghanistan and here we are over 20 years later still wondering what's going on over there. The beauty is that women are more free now to be anything they desire.
I thought about what's coming for our youth at church. I thought about the changes to our church staff and how to proceed in praying for them. I almost had a pity party thinking about some things. Then I realized that God will sustain those who lift Him up. He is working all things out for my good and I have to trust Him enough to do it without trying to help Him.
He doesn't require my help - I depend on His. It is only through daily prayer that I am able to keep my head above water as I watch Him walk toward me. Everyday, the vision of Him walking gets more and more clear. I am reaching up and He's standing there reaching down to me. I keep coming up with excuses for why I can't take His hand yet and He patiently stands there waiting.
I am so glad that He has not walked away from me. I couldn't sleep at all last night because I went to bed with too much on my mind when I should have cast all of the days cares on Him. I need to go and see the therapist and talk about what I am dealing with.
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell - love that song.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
How Will I Fill In The Dash?
I can hear it now, what the heck is he talking about - the dash? Yes, that hyphen that will be on the program at my funeral that shows the day you were born and the day you went to be with the Lord. No, I am not getting morbid here. I read the blog of a good friend this morning and it made me think along the same lines. What am I going to do with the next 4.5 years before the unrequested AARP card shows up in the mail?
Just like it was yesterday, I remember when my aunt's card came in the mail and thinking she must really be old. Like my good friend - I don't want to repeat the 30's - they were a reality check that kick you square in the mouth. I had a very long discussion with God the other day about all of this.
It's funny, the program gives us a birth and death date with a dash in between the two. It doesn't say anything about who you were as a person. What impact you made on this world. If you made a difference in anyone's life. It doesn't list your accomplishments and then when you open the program - it give a very vague description of your life's journey.
The Message Bible says in Habakkuk 2:2-3 And then God answered: "Write this.write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time.
I have been blessed with so many gifts and talents, yet I am sitting on them. Why? Is it laziness, apathy, procrastination, no zeal, no burning desire? What is it? I have no excuses when God promised in His Word that our gifts would make room for us. He said that He would show us a more excellent way. He said that our barns would be filled to overflowing and our vats would be running over. If He said it, that settles it. It took me a minute to get to this point, but I have finally arrived. I have been on the bus far too long and I have reached my destination. Driver pull over - I need to get off and get busy with the vision. I feel like Sonny in Madea Goes To Jail - it's a clear day - land!!!!
I have been in the holding pattern for too many years trying to fight a battle that I can't win on my own. This battle is not mine, it's the Lord's. I am just hear to fight with Him. If the world isn't going to give me what I need, I need to make my own way. It has been said that necessity is the mother of invention. I live in Smalltown, U.S.A., and there are a lot things that we do not have here. It's time to step up and be a part of the solution and not the problem. I am going to make a trip back to SCORE and see what they can do to help me get started.
Yes, I have my good days and my bad days. I tend to forget some things and my health is what it is. BUT, GOD!!!! When the lupus flairs up - I will say but God - has blessed me to wake up. When the bills are passed due - but God has blessed me with a home. When people get on my last nerve - but God has given me the same grace they deserve. In spite of it all - but God!!!!!
I like the way Mary Mary said it:
I had enough heartache and enough headaches I've had so many ups and downs. Don't know how much more i can take. See i decided that i cried my last tear yesterday. Either i'm going to trust you or i may as well walk away 'cause stressing don't make it better, Don't make it better, no way. See i decided that i cried my last tear yesterday. Yesterday, i decided to put my trust in you. Yesterday, i realized that you will being me through. There ain't nothing to hard for my god, no. Any problems that i have He's greater than them all, so
I decided that i cried my last tear yesterday
So, how will I fill in the dash? By being who I am supposed to be. By being who I was created to be. By having a heart of compassion. I need ears that listen to what I hear. A heart that feels what others are going through. A mind that can stay focused on the task at hand. Living each day to the fullest. Loving God, Loving People and Loving Myself. I will fill in the dash so that people will not have to guess what my life was all about. I will genuinely care about each one of scouts and leaders, the youth at my church. Take time to pray from the heart. I need to finish writing a book that I started about god-parenting. I need to use the gifts and talents God has blessed me with to make a living for my family. I need to walk in my calling and preach in season and out of season.
Watch out world - I am going to take you by storm. This is going to be a long dash. Oh death where is your sting, oh grave you will not get the victory!!!! I will be healed. I will have the victory. I will make my life a song that needs to heard.
Thanks friend of mine. You are a blessing from God.
Just like it was yesterday, I remember when my aunt's card came in the mail and thinking she must really be old. Like my good friend - I don't want to repeat the 30's - they were a reality check that kick you square in the mouth. I had a very long discussion with God the other day about all of this.
It's funny, the program gives us a birth and death date with a dash in between the two. It doesn't say anything about who you were as a person. What impact you made on this world. If you made a difference in anyone's life. It doesn't list your accomplishments and then when you open the program - it give a very vague description of your life's journey.
The Message Bible says in Habakkuk 2:2-3 And then God answered: "Write this.write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time.
I have been blessed with so many gifts and talents, yet I am sitting on them. Why? Is it laziness, apathy, procrastination, no zeal, no burning desire? What is it? I have no excuses when God promised in His Word that our gifts would make room for us. He said that He would show us a more excellent way. He said that our barns would be filled to overflowing and our vats would be running over. If He said it, that settles it. It took me a minute to get to this point, but I have finally arrived. I have been on the bus far too long and I have reached my destination. Driver pull over - I need to get off and get busy with the vision. I feel like Sonny in Madea Goes To Jail - it's a clear day - land!!!!
I have been in the holding pattern for too many years trying to fight a battle that I can't win on my own. This battle is not mine, it's the Lord's. I am just hear to fight with Him. If the world isn't going to give me what I need, I need to make my own way. It has been said that necessity is the mother of invention. I live in Smalltown, U.S.A., and there are a lot things that we do not have here. It's time to step up and be a part of the solution and not the problem. I am going to make a trip back to SCORE and see what they can do to help me get started.
Yes, I have my good days and my bad days. I tend to forget some things and my health is what it is. BUT, GOD!!!! When the lupus flairs up - I will say but God - has blessed me to wake up. When the bills are passed due - but God has blessed me with a home. When people get on my last nerve - but God has given me the same grace they deserve. In spite of it all - but God!!!!!
I like the way Mary Mary said it:
I had enough heartache and enough headaches I've had so many ups and downs. Don't know how much more i can take. See i decided that i cried my last tear yesterday. Either i'm going to trust you or i may as well walk away 'cause stressing don't make it better, Don't make it better, no way. See i decided that i cried my last tear yesterday. Yesterday, i decided to put my trust in you. Yesterday, i realized that you will being me through. There ain't nothing to hard for my god, no. Any problems that i have He's greater than them all, so
I decided that i cried my last tear yesterday
So, how will I fill in the dash? By being who I am supposed to be. By being who I was created to be. By having a heart of compassion. I need ears that listen to what I hear. A heart that feels what others are going through. A mind that can stay focused on the task at hand. Living each day to the fullest. Loving God, Loving People and Loving Myself. I will fill in the dash so that people will not have to guess what my life was all about. I will genuinely care about each one of scouts and leaders, the youth at my church. Take time to pray from the heart. I need to finish writing a book that I started about god-parenting. I need to use the gifts and talents God has blessed me with to make a living for my family. I need to walk in my calling and preach in season and out of season.
Watch out world - I am going to take you by storm. This is going to be a long dash. Oh death where is your sting, oh grave you will not get the victory!!!! I will be healed. I will have the victory. I will make my life a song that needs to heard.
Thanks friend of mine. You are a blessing from God.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Is It Really The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year?
This is supposed to be the most joyful time of year. We are celebrating the birth of Jesus as the Christ. Some people are celebrating Hanukkah, others are celebrating Kwanzaa, and some people just want to celebrate the commercial side of this time of year.
For some people, this is the most wonderful time of the year just because they have life, health and strength. Every day is a day of celebration because they are blessed to wake up and see a brand new day. There are people who will be observing the holidays for the first time after losing a loved one, breaking off a relationship, unemployed, facing illness and a myriad of other life events.
So what is one to do? It is very simple, just be a blessing to someone all year long. Believe it or not, not all people are looking for a hand-out. Someone needs a card that encourages. Someone needs an invite for dinner. Someone needs a smile as you pass them on the street. Someone is looking for ANYONE to just say hello, how are you are doing?
It really isn't hard. Why do the good feelings of the season go away right after the start of the new year? Why can't we smile at each other all year long, send that card all year long, invite someone over all year long? Is it because we are a selfish people? Is it because we ourselves need someone to bless us? Do we have something to hide - hurt, guilt, shame? No, I don't think that's the answer. I would like to offer up this thought: it's too much trouble to sit down and write out an envelope, put a stamp on it and go to the mail box. It's too much trouble to invite that person over because we are afraid they will put a damper on the atmosphere. Is it too hard to pick up a phone and call someone.
To be transparent - I can't stand texting, emailing or attaching a picture when it's someone's birthday, holiday, special event or whatever deserves my time. There is nothing like getting that piece of mail when I walk to the mailbox and realize there is something more than bills inside. My wife thinks I am crazy when I get a card in the mail. I light up like Time Square when something comes in the mail that isn't a bill. Maybe that's why I mail out so many Christmas cards, birthday cards, anniversary cards, etc..
How about this, if you bless someone - you will be blessed in return. It might not be in the same manner, but you will be blessed. I like Jane Seymour's tag line: "if you open you heart, love will find it's way in." That is so true. It's not just about the gift you can go out and purchase - yes that helps, but it's about us giving our time and attention to someone.
People deserve to have a bright spot in their day. I get cards when they go on sale and use them all year long. The bookstores (Christian and secular) are loaded with cards on sale. To answer my own question - is this the most wonderful time of the year? Yes, primarily because of the birth of Jesus, not because of Santa Claus. However, every day should be a day of Thanksgiving. Every time I open my eyes in the morning, I realize that I have new mercies, new grace, new favor, another chance to get it right, one more day closer to feeling great health.
For some people, this is the most wonderful time of the year just because they have life, health and strength. Every day is a day of celebration because they are blessed to wake up and see a brand new day. There are people who will be observing the holidays for the first time after losing a loved one, breaking off a relationship, unemployed, facing illness and a myriad of other life events.
So what is one to do? It is very simple, just be a blessing to someone all year long. Believe it or not, not all people are looking for a hand-out. Someone needs a card that encourages. Someone needs an invite for dinner. Someone needs a smile as you pass them on the street. Someone is looking for ANYONE to just say hello, how are you are doing?
It really isn't hard. Why do the good feelings of the season go away right after the start of the new year? Why can't we smile at each other all year long, send that card all year long, invite someone over all year long? Is it because we are a selfish people? Is it because we ourselves need someone to bless us? Do we have something to hide - hurt, guilt, shame? No, I don't think that's the answer. I would like to offer up this thought: it's too much trouble to sit down and write out an envelope, put a stamp on it and go to the mail box. It's too much trouble to invite that person over because we are afraid they will put a damper on the atmosphere. Is it too hard to pick up a phone and call someone.
To be transparent - I can't stand texting, emailing or attaching a picture when it's someone's birthday, holiday, special event or whatever deserves my time. There is nothing like getting that piece of mail when I walk to the mailbox and realize there is something more than bills inside. My wife thinks I am crazy when I get a card in the mail. I light up like Time Square when something comes in the mail that isn't a bill. Maybe that's why I mail out so many Christmas cards, birthday cards, anniversary cards, etc..
How about this, if you bless someone - you will be blessed in return. It might not be in the same manner, but you will be blessed. I like Jane Seymour's tag line: "if you open you heart, love will find it's way in." That is so true. It's not just about the gift you can go out and purchase - yes that helps, but it's about us giving our time and attention to someone.
People deserve to have a bright spot in their day. I get cards when they go on sale and use them all year long. The bookstores (Christian and secular) are loaded with cards on sale. To answer my own question - is this the most wonderful time of the year? Yes, primarily because of the birth of Jesus, not because of Santa Claus. However, every day should be a day of Thanksgiving. Every time I open my eyes in the morning, I realize that I have new mercies, new grace, new favor, another chance to get it right, one more day closer to feeling great health.
Good Bye Dog
Well, I have the unpleasant task of the breaking the hearts of my kids today. The dog has to go. I am very allergic to the dog. He is only 6 months old and he needs to go. When we told the kids it was me or the dog - two of them had the nerve to point at me - just joking of course (at least I hope they were)
He is an adorable little Boston Terrier/Min. Pincher mix. The one thing I will not miss is the 5:50AM wake up to take him outside for his morning relief. Who knew it could get so cold at that time of the morning. So, he has had his last morning feeding, water, and walk. We leave at 7:45 AM for the drive over to the shelter. They have a pet adoption campaign going on this week, and I am sure he will be snapped up.
I really do hate to give him up, but the itching hands and arms - and the rash right after - are more than I can take. He will be missed, but my health is more important. We told the kids they can try fish next. You know who is going to get stuck cleaning the tank - Dear Old Dad!!!! Let me think twice about the fish tank.
He is an adorable little Boston Terrier/Min. Pincher mix. The one thing I will not miss is the 5:50AM wake up to take him outside for his morning relief. Who knew it could get so cold at that time of the morning. So, he has had his last morning feeding, water, and walk. We leave at 7:45 AM for the drive over to the shelter. They have a pet adoption campaign going on this week, and I am sure he will be snapped up.
I really do hate to give him up, but the itching hands and arms - and the rash right after - are more than I can take. He will be missed, but my health is more important. We told the kids they can try fish next. You know who is going to get stuck cleaning the tank - Dear Old Dad!!!! Let me think twice about the fish tank.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Loving God, Loving People
Today has been a good day for me so far. I woke up very focused for the first time in a long while. I usually have to get up and think about what has to happen during the day and it takes me a while to get it together.
Total opposite of last night. I was on my way to cub scouts and completely forgot where I was going. I drove right past the street I needed to turn on and my son kept asking me where we were going. For the life of me, I couldn't remember. After driving past the street three times, he finally spoke up and said - we are going to be late cub scouts - turn here!!!!!! I couldn't believe I was sitting at the light unaware that it changed and that I couldn't remember what to do. I had the mindset to pull into the gas station and sit for a moment.
These little episodes of forgetfulness are starting to get on my nerves. Thank God one of the scout parents saw me and asked if I was headed to the meeting. He actually told me to follow him. It was like my brain was on pause or something.
I just thank God that I got it together and the cold night air helped me out. Anyway, I made it back home. For some reason I never forget how to get back home. I guess it's true - home is where the heart is. I was supposed to go camping with the scouts, but I have a test in the morning with a doctor that prevents me from going.
Like I said, today has been good to me so far. My joints don't ache too much, my headache is gone after 23 days, my vision is still blurry - but I can see. The diabetes numbers are a bit high - but I am managing. I just glad that the stabbing pains and the pins and needles aren't affecting me today.
I just thank God that His Word is true. When all else fails and seems to be falling apart around me - HE remains the same. I hear about so many people who have been sick, in the hospital, have major issues - and the list goes on. All I know is this: where there is life, there is hope.
All I can do right now is think about the future and continue to believe that my needs will be met. I know that I have not talked about food in a while. Well last night I made fettucini alfredo with broccoli and shrimp. It was really good. I followed that recipe for the sauce to the letter. I think I saw it on food network - Michael Chiarello or Mario Batali - not sure. Either way - it was great. The kids loved it.
Being Friday, it is appetizers and a movie with the kids. Wings, pot. skins, onion rings - homemade of course, fish nuggets and a veggie platter. Sounds like a plan.
By the way - anyone looking for a dog? He is part Boston Terrier and Min Pinscher. I am very allergic to him. If I don't get any takers by Monday - off to the pound he goes. The kids will get a fish tank instead.
Total opposite of last night. I was on my way to cub scouts and completely forgot where I was going. I drove right past the street I needed to turn on and my son kept asking me where we were going. For the life of me, I couldn't remember. After driving past the street three times, he finally spoke up and said - we are going to be late cub scouts - turn here!!!!!! I couldn't believe I was sitting at the light unaware that it changed and that I couldn't remember what to do. I had the mindset to pull into the gas station and sit for a moment.
These little episodes of forgetfulness are starting to get on my nerves. Thank God one of the scout parents saw me and asked if I was headed to the meeting. He actually told me to follow him. It was like my brain was on pause or something.
I just thank God that I got it together and the cold night air helped me out. Anyway, I made it back home. For some reason I never forget how to get back home. I guess it's true - home is where the heart is. I was supposed to go camping with the scouts, but I have a test in the morning with a doctor that prevents me from going.
Like I said, today has been good to me so far. My joints don't ache too much, my headache is gone after 23 days, my vision is still blurry - but I can see. The diabetes numbers are a bit high - but I am managing. I just glad that the stabbing pains and the pins and needles aren't affecting me today.
I just thank God that His Word is true. When all else fails and seems to be falling apart around me - HE remains the same. I hear about so many people who have been sick, in the hospital, have major issues - and the list goes on. All I know is this: where there is life, there is hope.
All I can do right now is think about the future and continue to believe that my needs will be met. I know that I have not talked about food in a while. Well last night I made fettucini alfredo with broccoli and shrimp. It was really good. I followed that recipe for the sauce to the letter. I think I saw it on food network - Michael Chiarello or Mario Batali - not sure. Either way - it was great. The kids loved it.
Being Friday, it is appetizers and a movie with the kids. Wings, pot. skins, onion rings - homemade of course, fish nuggets and a veggie platter. Sounds like a plan.
By the way - anyone looking for a dog? He is part Boston Terrier and Min Pinscher. I am very allergic to him. If I don't get any takers by Monday - off to the pound he goes. The kids will get a fish tank instead.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Where Have I Been?
Didn't realize how much some people look for my posts. I have been very busy trying to keep up with doctors, looking for a job and being creative with making my meds last until I can get more.
I had the longest discussion with one of my recruiters. He kept promising me an interview with a large air compressor company right over the border in SC. After two weeks of delays, I finally asked him a question that needed to be addressed. "Did you bring me in to meet your weekly quota of interviews, and does the job really exist?" I could feel his face change as his voice changed over the phone.
Everything in me knew I was correct in my assumption, and everything in me wanted to call the company and ask if the position was available. Not wanting to ruin two relationships, I left well enough - alone. I feel like I have wasted my time talking with this guy. Parking uptown Charlotte is not cheap - and I sat in his office for 2 hours while he "sold" me on this company. I got my hopes up and my excitement was building as I looked forward to the interview process. I came home, did my background work on the company, refreshed myself on the job requirements so that I knew what I was talking about.
There are days when I sit back and wonder how I can keep the lights on, food on the tables, a roof over our heads and clean clothes on our bodies. It is nothing short of God's provision. His Word is true - He will not see His righteous forsaken, nor His seed begging bread. He continues to provide all of our needs. When I think all hope is lost - He steps in and shows Himself strong.
Anyway, I missed a lot of things over the past weeks. My god-daughter was dedicated and I couldn't attend because of a doctor's appointment that could not get changed for reasons I can't talk about. My 25th class reunion and Thanksgiving with my family in CT - all did not happen because of doctors. One doctor has the nerve to walk into the room with an attitude because he had to open his office on Wed.. He said to me "let's get this over with because I had places I should have been."
After my head stopped spinning, I quickly reminded him that I didn't ask him to open his office, that he is a specialist - therefore he made the choice to be open, and I still had to write an evaluation of my visit. I walked out there with such a headache. I went to my therapist and he wanted me to take another pill. He gave me a months worth of samples. After taking one pill - I stopped. Anything that makes me feel like I am in the clouds - can't be good. I want to be stress-less not a crack head. So, I went back to the cd that my insurance sent, and I sit for 20 minutes a day and relax, relate, release all of the stress. Trust me, it works.
I did have a great few days at home with my wife and kids. This is the first time in my life that we didn't have a house full of guests on Thanksgiving. I honestly can't remember not having people over. Family is funny. I tried to meet up with my relative here in the Charlotte area and everybody was staying home. So, we just lit the fireplace, cooked with the kids, had one friend over, and stayed home. It was really good.
Friday, one of my Sunday School kids asked us to come over to have dinner with her family. They are a great group of people. We had an amazing time getting to know them. These kids are so respectful, mannerly and love their parents. I appreciate that the dad didn't care that we were in the house when he corrected his son in front of us. Some parents put up a front and then deal with it later - not him - he is like me, correct you where you made the mistake.
I am so thankful to God for the people he has placed in my life. I love doing what I can for others. Speaking of, I need to get started on the Red Velvet cookies that I promised to make. These things are so good, and I put a white chocolate drizzle on top of them with a hint of cream cheese. I was honored when I was asked to make them.
So this week is back to reality. Back to standing at the bus stop at 6:30 AM, back to preparing dinners and helping with homework. Back to doing homework and trying to help with projects. Time to figure out Christmas gifts and mailing out cards. Time to get our Kwanzaa crafts and projects in order. I love this time of year.
I had the longest discussion with one of my recruiters. He kept promising me an interview with a large air compressor company right over the border in SC. After two weeks of delays, I finally asked him a question that needed to be addressed. "Did you bring me in to meet your weekly quota of interviews, and does the job really exist?" I could feel his face change as his voice changed over the phone.
Everything in me knew I was correct in my assumption, and everything in me wanted to call the company and ask if the position was available. Not wanting to ruin two relationships, I left well enough - alone. I feel like I have wasted my time talking with this guy. Parking uptown Charlotte is not cheap - and I sat in his office for 2 hours while he "sold" me on this company. I got my hopes up and my excitement was building as I looked forward to the interview process. I came home, did my background work on the company, refreshed myself on the job requirements so that I knew what I was talking about.
There are days when I sit back and wonder how I can keep the lights on, food on the tables, a roof over our heads and clean clothes on our bodies. It is nothing short of God's provision. His Word is true - He will not see His righteous forsaken, nor His seed begging bread. He continues to provide all of our needs. When I think all hope is lost - He steps in and shows Himself strong.
Anyway, I missed a lot of things over the past weeks. My god-daughter was dedicated and I couldn't attend because of a doctor's appointment that could not get changed for reasons I can't talk about. My 25th class reunion and Thanksgiving with my family in CT - all did not happen because of doctors. One doctor has the nerve to walk into the room with an attitude because he had to open his office on Wed.. He said to me "let's get this over with because I had places I should have been."
After my head stopped spinning, I quickly reminded him that I didn't ask him to open his office, that he is a specialist - therefore he made the choice to be open, and I still had to write an evaluation of my visit. I walked out there with such a headache. I went to my therapist and he wanted me to take another pill. He gave me a months worth of samples. After taking one pill - I stopped. Anything that makes me feel like I am in the clouds - can't be good. I want to be stress-less not a crack head. So, I went back to the cd that my insurance sent, and I sit for 20 minutes a day and relax, relate, release all of the stress. Trust me, it works.
I did have a great few days at home with my wife and kids. This is the first time in my life that we didn't have a house full of guests on Thanksgiving. I honestly can't remember not having people over. Family is funny. I tried to meet up with my relative here in the Charlotte area and everybody was staying home. So, we just lit the fireplace, cooked with the kids, had one friend over, and stayed home. It was really good.
Friday, one of my Sunday School kids asked us to come over to have dinner with her family. They are a great group of people. We had an amazing time getting to know them. These kids are so respectful, mannerly and love their parents. I appreciate that the dad didn't care that we were in the house when he corrected his son in front of us. Some parents put up a front and then deal with it later - not him - he is like me, correct you where you made the mistake.
I am so thankful to God for the people he has placed in my life. I love doing what I can for others. Speaking of, I need to get started on the Red Velvet cookies that I promised to make. These things are so good, and I put a white chocolate drizzle on top of them with a hint of cream cheese. I was honored when I was asked to make them.
So this week is back to reality. Back to standing at the bus stop at 6:30 AM, back to preparing dinners and helping with homework. Back to doing homework and trying to help with projects. Time to figure out Christmas gifts and mailing out cards. Time to get our Kwanzaa crafts and projects in order. I love this time of year.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Kids at Church
It's been several days since I've taken time to sit and write.
I have been praying about the way I see kids acting today - especially at church. I look at them and after hearing their stories, it's no wonder why the do what they do. Their homes are a mess, mom and dad are putting on an act in front of people, and the kids are walking around looking for attention in all of the wrong ways.
The problem isn't just the kid, it's the parents and the lack of parenting skills. At no time is it o.k. to be rude, disrespectful and mean toward other people. Too many kids have cell phones with internet access, picture text ability and video ability. I sit back and wonder if anyone has told these kids that what you put on the internet stays there forever. Your sexting, barely dressed pictures, obscene status and all the rest stays there forever - yet these kids post things as though they are going to vanish into thin air.
My kids try to push the envelope at times and when I see it - I am all over it like a father Lion protecting his little babies. I don't care that my oldest 19 and she is considered an "adult". She needs to know that there is a level of respect that she needs to set for herself so that men don't look at her as a cheap tramp that they can take advantage of. No, the picture is not cute enough to put out there for others to see. You being on vacation with your family at the beach doesn't mean you can take something and us it as your profile picture.
As Christian parents, it our job to raise these kids in a God-fearing way of life. And by that, I mean in a respectful way. Why is it so easy for our kids to talk to each other any kind of way, give themselves away so easily, hurt each other so easily and act like human life is meaningless? Does social media have anything to do with it? Does music play a part? Does TV and reality show (what a joke) play a part? Does the government taking away parents rights to raise children without spanking play a part? Are parents just afraid of the their kids?
All of this and more play a part. It is hard enough to raise small children - try raising a sr. high kid and one in college. If I get one more headache, tightening of the chest, dizzy or shortness of breath - it will be too soon. This is the hardest job. I do not always enjoy re-teaching the same lessons over and over again. Everyone tells me that it gets easier the older they get. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids - but I am stressing raising young ladies. When Billy Bad Butt thinks he can talk to her any kind of way in front of me - I lose my mind on him. I don't want him thinking he can talk to her that way in my presence and don't do it when I'm not around. If he is, she needs to find someone else. No person is worth your self esteem, self respect, the value that I have placed in you, the time it took to groom you into a young lady, the years of validation, or the many nights of prayer for you to get a good God-fearing man in your life.
So, what got me on this rant? I saw a kid at church tell her parents that they could go home and she would be there sometime that night. She was going out with some friends who picked her up after church. When they asked her where they were going - the response was - you don't need to know, see you when I see you. My first response was a look of disbelief. Secondly, my mouth dropped open when they said - she will be fine. Third, I would have had her by the roots of her hair with one hand, while I was ripping her apart with the other. They didn't even know the kids she got in the car with, they don't go to any church and the girl was only 15. I don't want to turn on the news one day and see them wrapped around some pole and people in the background saying "she came from such a good home" A good home doesn't mean good parenting.
Wake up, smell the coffee and take ownership of your kids!!!!!!!!!!
I have been praying about the way I see kids acting today - especially at church. I look at them and after hearing their stories, it's no wonder why the do what they do. Their homes are a mess, mom and dad are putting on an act in front of people, and the kids are walking around looking for attention in all of the wrong ways.
The problem isn't just the kid, it's the parents and the lack of parenting skills. At no time is it o.k. to be rude, disrespectful and mean toward other people. Too many kids have cell phones with internet access, picture text ability and video ability. I sit back and wonder if anyone has told these kids that what you put on the internet stays there forever. Your sexting, barely dressed pictures, obscene status and all the rest stays there forever - yet these kids post things as though they are going to vanish into thin air.
My kids try to push the envelope at times and when I see it - I am all over it like a father Lion protecting his little babies. I don't care that my oldest 19 and she is considered an "adult". She needs to know that there is a level of respect that she needs to set for herself so that men don't look at her as a cheap tramp that they can take advantage of. No, the picture is not cute enough to put out there for others to see. You being on vacation with your family at the beach doesn't mean you can take something and us it as your profile picture.
As Christian parents, it our job to raise these kids in a God-fearing way of life. And by that, I mean in a respectful way. Why is it so easy for our kids to talk to each other any kind of way, give themselves away so easily, hurt each other so easily and act like human life is meaningless? Does social media have anything to do with it? Does music play a part? Does TV and reality show (what a joke) play a part? Does the government taking away parents rights to raise children without spanking play a part? Are parents just afraid of the their kids?
All of this and more play a part. It is hard enough to raise small children - try raising a sr. high kid and one in college. If I get one more headache, tightening of the chest, dizzy or shortness of breath - it will be too soon. This is the hardest job. I do not always enjoy re-teaching the same lessons over and over again. Everyone tells me that it gets easier the older they get. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids - but I am stressing raising young ladies. When Billy Bad Butt thinks he can talk to her any kind of way in front of me - I lose my mind on him. I don't want him thinking he can talk to her that way in my presence and don't do it when I'm not around. If he is, she needs to find someone else. No person is worth your self esteem, self respect, the value that I have placed in you, the time it took to groom you into a young lady, the years of validation, or the many nights of prayer for you to get a good God-fearing man in your life.
So, what got me on this rant? I saw a kid at church tell her parents that they could go home and she would be there sometime that night. She was going out with some friends who picked her up after church. When they asked her where they were going - the response was - you don't need to know, see you when I see you. My first response was a look of disbelief. Secondly, my mouth dropped open when they said - she will be fine. Third, I would have had her by the roots of her hair with one hand, while I was ripping her apart with the other. They didn't even know the kids she got in the car with, they don't go to any church and the girl was only 15. I don't want to turn on the news one day and see them wrapped around some pole and people in the background saying "she came from such a good home" A good home doesn't mean good parenting.
Wake up, smell the coffee and take ownership of your kids!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Music Calms the Savage Beast
Let me explain something. I am not crazy, I am not stupid, I am not lost. I am venting how I feel. I am at a place in my life where I need to let people know how I REALLY feel about how they treat me and others. No matter how you slice it - ugly IS ugly, and how you treat people will come back to you. The problem is that people take your kindness for weakness and try to manipulate situations to their own advantage.
At some point in our lives, we must each decide when enough is enough. I reached the breaking point and at times I come across as someone who doesn't care. Wrong, I am letting my yes be yes and my no be no. A good friend of mine has a bunch of positive quotes hanging in his office. I thought about that - and it makes sense. You are what you think you are. If you don't feed your mind something worthwhile and edifying, you will wither away to nothingness.
God said He knows the plans He has for us. He wants me to have a future and a hope, he has plans to prosper and not harm me. Knowing that my eyes are the portal to my soul, my mind must be the portal to my spirit. So, I began to feed my mind last night. I found myself in a place of worship. I sat back and listened to a lot of gospel, contemporary Christian and Christian jazz music. I could literally feel the stress leaving my body. I was so relaxed and the junk leaving my mind.
The strange thing is this, there isn't that much music today that will take you to the throne room. I had to go back to the music of the 80's and 90's to find something that would break the tense atmosphere. Music that spoke directly to your situation from singers who knew how to minister. Music today is sold for the beat and for what they can take from the worldly sound and sugar coat it with the Name of Jesus.
Don't get me wrong, there is some really good music out there today. But nothing touches me like the older sound. Back in the day, whole choirs would be caught up in worship, the musicians had to stop playing because the Holy Spirit was all over the church, and people were not in a hurry to get home. How I long for those days when we sacrificed our time to the Lord.
I sat in my chair in my home office and I looked at my wall. It's covered with the Names of Jesus, what that name means and where to find it in the scriptures. So why didn't it appear to have no affect on me? Like our everyday lives - I had that wall to my back instead in front of me where I could look at it everyday. I know He has my back, but when I put Him behind me, that's different. So now, I can see Him, His Names and what He means to me.
I was listening to Daryl Coley (best male voice in gospel) sing "Sovereign" with Wilimington Chester Mass Choir - and the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and the stress level increased again. I didn't answer the phone, I didn't let it go to the answering machine - I hit a button that allows it to hang up the call. I don't want to speak to another person about changing phone services, do a survey, do a Gallup pole, speak to a bill collector. I can't stand the feeling in the pit of my stomach when the phone rings. It took me a minute to get my mind back on God. But when I did, what an amazing feeling. I stopped thinking about everything for 5 minutes of peace. When it appears that there is no justice and no peace in your life, it's time to get a to a place where you can know justice and know peace.
Madea said it best - the one place on earth you should have peace and rest, is in your house. If you don't, make some changes. I am working on ME, and I am doing it for ME. I have 4 wonderful children and an amazing wife. I have family and friends that love and care for me. Most of all, I have a God who will never leave me nor forsake me. My physical body may not be doing all that well, but He still dwells within me. All I can do now is pray and ask Him to help me clean it out to make more room for Him.
Get your favorite music, a comfortable chair, some pj's, a hot cup of coffee or tea, dim the lights and let the music take you away. If you are married, just sit together and listen - don't say one word, relax and let it go.
At some point in our lives, we must each decide when enough is enough. I reached the breaking point and at times I come across as someone who doesn't care. Wrong, I am letting my yes be yes and my no be no. A good friend of mine has a bunch of positive quotes hanging in his office. I thought about that - and it makes sense. You are what you think you are. If you don't feed your mind something worthwhile and edifying, you will wither away to nothingness.
God said He knows the plans He has for us. He wants me to have a future and a hope, he has plans to prosper and not harm me. Knowing that my eyes are the portal to my soul, my mind must be the portal to my spirit. So, I began to feed my mind last night. I found myself in a place of worship. I sat back and listened to a lot of gospel, contemporary Christian and Christian jazz music. I could literally feel the stress leaving my body. I was so relaxed and the junk leaving my mind.
The strange thing is this, there isn't that much music today that will take you to the throne room. I had to go back to the music of the 80's and 90's to find something that would break the tense atmosphere. Music that spoke directly to your situation from singers who knew how to minister. Music today is sold for the beat and for what they can take from the worldly sound and sugar coat it with the Name of Jesus.
Don't get me wrong, there is some really good music out there today. But nothing touches me like the older sound. Back in the day, whole choirs would be caught up in worship, the musicians had to stop playing because the Holy Spirit was all over the church, and people were not in a hurry to get home. How I long for those days when we sacrificed our time to the Lord.
I sat in my chair in my home office and I looked at my wall. It's covered with the Names of Jesus, what that name means and where to find it in the scriptures. So why didn't it appear to have no affect on me? Like our everyday lives - I had that wall to my back instead in front of me where I could look at it everyday. I know He has my back, but when I put Him behind me, that's different. So now, I can see Him, His Names and what He means to me.
I was listening to Daryl Coley (best male voice in gospel) sing "Sovereign" with Wilimington Chester Mass Choir - and the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and the stress level increased again. I didn't answer the phone, I didn't let it go to the answering machine - I hit a button that allows it to hang up the call. I don't want to speak to another person about changing phone services, do a survey, do a Gallup pole, speak to a bill collector. I can't stand the feeling in the pit of my stomach when the phone rings. It took me a minute to get my mind back on God. But when I did, what an amazing feeling. I stopped thinking about everything for 5 minutes of peace. When it appears that there is no justice and no peace in your life, it's time to get a to a place where you can know justice and know peace.
Madea said it best - the one place on earth you should have peace and rest, is in your house. If you don't, make some changes. I am working on ME, and I am doing it for ME. I have 4 wonderful children and an amazing wife. I have family and friends that love and care for me. Most of all, I have a God who will never leave me nor forsake me. My physical body may not be doing all that well, but He still dwells within me. All I can do now is pray and ask Him to help me clean it out to make more room for Him.
Get your favorite music, a comfortable chair, some pj's, a hot cup of coffee or tea, dim the lights and let the music take you away. If you are married, just sit together and listen - don't say one word, relax and let it go.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Being In His Will
I had a friend of mine - whom I love dearly as if he were my own brother - call and ask me a very timely question. When he said it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He asked me if I was in the will of God. Did I think my move to NC was the right time, do I have answers about my health issues and the job issue.
I never looked at things from that perspective. I know that God told me to move down here over 7 years ago and He released us to move 3 years ago. So, why all of the health issues? Why no job yet? Why the stress? Am I walking in His will for my life. I should have been leading a church by now and I know that. I should have started working in the church a long time ago - and I know that. There are a million - "I should have" moments that we all deal with .
Last night at church the preacher talked about a similar topic. He said one thing that I did not agree with. He said that God puts us in situations. I beg to differ - He allows us to be in situations. The Lord never puts anything that is against His character, upon His people. He didn't put Job in the circumstances that he faced - He allowed Job to be placed there. When Job went through his trials, the Lord to satan not to touch Job's soul.
He talked about how people have lost jobs, about to lose homes, seem to have no hope, family problems in the home, and the list goes on. In spite of all of that, we should still give God the praise. He used the example of a young lady in our church who is in a wheelchair for all of her life. She has never walked a day in her life, but she does have the best attitude of anyone I know. She is always on a "high" with life. She is grateful for every moment - nothing bothers her, and she does give the best hugs.
I thought about all of that last night. Am I in the will of the Lord? Am I doing what He wants me to do? Why don't things seem to work out for me anymore? It amazes me that I still get calls from headhunters in CT and now I being ignored by the recruiters here in NC. I was all excited about a job interview that never happened. The recruiter isn't answering my calls, or responding to my emails. I would stop into his office, but it costs $12 to park Uptown Charlotte where his office is located - I could get food for the family with that.
His will - should I go back to CT? There are demons there that I don't ever want to deal with again. People that I don't care to see anymore. People that I wish I could see everyday. My past is there, and it needs to stay there. So why I am getting interview calls? There are several open doors up there. I could commute to CT during the week and come back to my wife and kids on the weekends. I have considered it, and I still am.
I haven't been writing lately, not for anything, it's just that I haven't been in the mood.
I never looked at things from that perspective. I know that God told me to move down here over 7 years ago and He released us to move 3 years ago. So, why all of the health issues? Why no job yet? Why the stress? Am I walking in His will for my life. I should have been leading a church by now and I know that. I should have started working in the church a long time ago - and I know that. There are a million - "I should have" moments that we all deal with .
Last night at church the preacher talked about a similar topic. He said one thing that I did not agree with. He said that God puts us in situations. I beg to differ - He allows us to be in situations. The Lord never puts anything that is against His character, upon His people. He didn't put Job in the circumstances that he faced - He allowed Job to be placed there. When Job went through his trials, the Lord to satan not to touch Job's soul.
He talked about how people have lost jobs, about to lose homes, seem to have no hope, family problems in the home, and the list goes on. In spite of all of that, we should still give God the praise. He used the example of a young lady in our church who is in a wheelchair for all of her life. She has never walked a day in her life, but she does have the best attitude of anyone I know. She is always on a "high" with life. She is grateful for every moment - nothing bothers her, and she does give the best hugs.
I thought about all of that last night. Am I in the will of the Lord? Am I doing what He wants me to do? Why don't things seem to work out for me anymore? It amazes me that I still get calls from headhunters in CT and now I being ignored by the recruiters here in NC. I was all excited about a job interview that never happened. The recruiter isn't answering my calls, or responding to my emails. I would stop into his office, but it costs $12 to park Uptown Charlotte where his office is located - I could get food for the family with that.
His will - should I go back to CT? There are demons there that I don't ever want to deal with again. People that I don't care to see anymore. People that I wish I could see everyday. My past is there, and it needs to stay there. So why I am getting interview calls? There are several open doors up there. I could commute to CT during the week and come back to my wife and kids on the weekends. I have considered it, and I still am.
I haven't been writing lately, not for anything, it's just that I haven't been in the mood.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Try, Try Again
Do you ever reach a point of just wanting to give up? People tell you over and over again "your blessing is just around the corner" Being a Christian for over 20 years has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I wouldn't give up on Jesus for anything in this world. I am blessed every single day of my life. Just waking up is worth my time in prayer. Having a loving wife and kids who love me - puts a smile on my face.
Every day for the past 2.5 years, I have done nothing but try to find a job, try to work things out with prayer, try to get help for my family, try to talk things out with other people, try to be the best scout I can be, try to lead my youth class with integrity and character. You get the picture, I try over and over again.
So, do I give up? Of course not. Do I believe the blessing is just around the corner? Yes. It just seems like it's a long walk to the corner, and when you turn that one, the next corner seems far off. Don't get me wrong, I am not discouraged - I am being real with myself.
Life isn't always going to go the way I want it to go. Sometimes it's just good to see results once in a while. God is still performing miracles and wonders. I could use a miracle right about now. My friend Adam keeps reminding me to just "do your best" You know what? He's right!!!! All I can do is my best. But when that phone rings and I have to explain again that I do not have a job to pay that bill - all I can do is try my best. If the money isn't there, it just isn't there. You can't get blood from a rock, and you can't make money appear in the bank.
Right now, my doctors and I are in the midst of some very tough decisions that will have lasting repercussions on my family life. I don't know if the quality of my life is going to change, if we will have to make further sacrifices, or if I need to make more lifestyle changes.
No matter what, I have to try and try again until the change come.
Every day for the past 2.5 years, I have done nothing but try to find a job, try to work things out with prayer, try to get help for my family, try to talk things out with other people, try to be the best scout I can be, try to lead my youth class with integrity and character. You get the picture, I try over and over again.
So, do I give up? Of course not. Do I believe the blessing is just around the corner? Yes. It just seems like it's a long walk to the corner, and when you turn that one, the next corner seems far off. Don't get me wrong, I am not discouraged - I am being real with myself.
Life isn't always going to go the way I want it to go. Sometimes it's just good to see results once in a while. God is still performing miracles and wonders. I could use a miracle right about now. My friend Adam keeps reminding me to just "do your best" You know what? He's right!!!! All I can do is my best. But when that phone rings and I have to explain again that I do not have a job to pay that bill - all I can do is try my best. If the money isn't there, it just isn't there. You can't get blood from a rock, and you can't make money appear in the bank.
Right now, my doctors and I are in the midst of some very tough decisions that will have lasting repercussions on my family life. I don't know if the quality of my life is going to change, if we will have to make further sacrifices, or if I need to make more lifestyle changes.
No matter what, I have to try and try again until the change come.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Talk Radio - Romeo, Romeo Where For Art Thou?
Yesterday I listened to a talk radio show that a friend of mine has up in CT. Her topic was dealing with men who have fathered children and are (now) Christians. I was really enjoying the conversation from the men who called in and answered her questions with such openness and honesty. You could really hear their hearts as to why they didn't marry the woman, taking care of the child, their part in protecting themselves so they wouldn't become fathers, their relationships with the mothers, and their walk with the Lord now and how it relates to their past & how to move forward.
It was refreshing to hear the man's side of things. No, I am not defending the man is a jerk and doesn't care how many children he fathers. What I am saying is, I have a new found respect for the man who wants to do what's right without being forced by the court to take care of his responsibility. She didn't have the child alone, therefore - do your best to do your part.
While I as listening, one of the callers made a point of talking about the "angry mother syndrome" She is upset because he didn't want to marry her and it appears she used the kids against him, and had nothing good to say about him to the child. The Word of God tells us that it would be better that we marry than burn with lust. What happens when you are aren't saved and your flesh burns with lust and desire for the other person? You have children that were not planned. One of my favorite shows is Everybody Loves Raymond - talk about disfunction personified. This family is as jacked up as it gets. In one episode when Marie thinks that Robert's girlfriend is a "good girl" at 31 years old - the truth comes out about her.
Frank let's it out that they didn't have plans to get married, they had to get married because Marie was pregnant. Later, they lie to Robert about when his birthdate was and the lies continued to build from there. So, does God hold us accountable for the things we didn't know before we got saved? Does he expect us to go back and make things right with that woman? What is He looking for from me now? How do I restore a relationship with the kid(s) that I don't know?
There are more than enough questions to answer on this subject. Dads, go and make things right with your kids. Being one of those kids, I can tell you it's never too late to get back some of what you lost. You don't want your children to grow up, have families and you never know your grandchildren. From the child's point of view - what hurts most is knowing that your dad lives less than 30 miles away and they never make the effort to spend time with you - if the mother allows him too.
You see, I don't think there is any excuse for not spending time with your kids. The laws are now in place to protect the dads who want to be with their kids. The courts will give you the time IF you have the desire to the father the kid deserves. At some point, dad and mom need to find common ground and form a respectful relationship for the sake of the kids. Remember, you got to the point of not controlling your flesh and they were born as a result.
I believe I especially enjoyed hearing why they didn't get married to these women. One caller was very blunt when he told her that he didn't want to marry her. One of my associates said, he only wanted to have sex. Another said that she said she wanted to have his kid. Now, this speaks to several things. If you play with fire, expect to get burned. Are we not teaching our children that their bodies are a gift to be saved until marriage? Are we validating them so that they don't run into the arms of someone who is telling them what they want to hear? I found it compelling that a girl would tell a young man that I want to have your baby and he being stupid enough to do it. There are lifelong implications that go along with having a child. Babies are not little dolls that you can put on a shelf and leave there until you are ready to play with it again.
My turn. I could have just as easily been in the same position. Before I got saved - FOR REAL, and not play with God, I had a close call with a young lady. I knew that I should have taken responsibility for my actions. I was taught before going to college that I needed to use condoms if I was going to engage in sex. My uncles taught me not to fall into the trap of becoming a teenage father. The biggest lie ever told to young men is - "it doesn't feel the same if you wear one" First of all, I had no business having sex when my mind should have been focused on my education. What if I had a kid at a young age? Did I care enough about her to want to marry her? Did I even have an idea of what being in love was? Yes, it was just my flesh wanting to be fulfilled. It wasn't until the night I tried to kill myself that I gave my entire heart to God, asked for forgiveness for my mistakes and sins, that my flesh fell in line with His Word.
If the truth be told, I had no plans to EVER marry that young woman. That scare was one of the worst experiences of my life. She proved herself to me though, she would sleep with any guy that smiled at her - I should have seen the clues.
Once, I came home and gave my heart to God - my flesh fell in line. It was a sermon - Gone Too Far, Stayed Too Long. The pastor preached it and it spoke directly to me.
Romeo, Romeo where for art thou? Romeo is at home wondering how to make things right. Romeo is praying to God to get his heart right. Romeo wants to let her know that he should have done his part to protect both of them. Romeo is now a saved young man and he is going to give that child the father is a stand up guy. He is not going to allow an angry mother to place a wedge between him and the kid. He wants the kid to know that he/she is loved. He is going to support the kid and ask the court to enforce his rights to visit with and have overnighters with his kid. He is going to seek the Lord for direction. And, if he is a teen father - he will ask his family to teach him how to take care of his kid.
So, good for you my friend. You have a great talk show. Keep touching those areas that the four walled churches are not speaking about. Your show reminds me of Isaiah 6:6-8 when the angel took the tongs from the fire and touched his lips to cleanse him. Your topics are timely and your show structure is perfect. Check her out on Wednesday's at 1PM by clicking on the following link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/
It was refreshing to hear the man's side of things. No, I am not defending the man is a jerk and doesn't care how many children he fathers. What I am saying is, I have a new found respect for the man who wants to do what's right without being forced by the court to take care of his responsibility. She didn't have the child alone, therefore - do your best to do your part.
While I as listening, one of the callers made a point of talking about the "angry mother syndrome" She is upset because he didn't want to marry her and it appears she used the kids against him, and had nothing good to say about him to the child. The Word of God tells us that it would be better that we marry than burn with lust. What happens when you are aren't saved and your flesh burns with lust and desire for the other person? You have children that were not planned. One of my favorite shows is Everybody Loves Raymond - talk about disfunction personified. This family is as jacked up as it gets. In one episode when Marie thinks that Robert's girlfriend is a "good girl" at 31 years old - the truth comes out about her.
Frank let's it out that they didn't have plans to get married, they had to get married because Marie was pregnant. Later, they lie to Robert about when his birthdate was and the lies continued to build from there. So, does God hold us accountable for the things we didn't know before we got saved? Does he expect us to go back and make things right with that woman? What is He looking for from me now? How do I restore a relationship with the kid(s) that I don't know?
There are more than enough questions to answer on this subject. Dads, go and make things right with your kids. Being one of those kids, I can tell you it's never too late to get back some of what you lost. You don't want your children to grow up, have families and you never know your grandchildren. From the child's point of view - what hurts most is knowing that your dad lives less than 30 miles away and they never make the effort to spend time with you - if the mother allows him too.
You see, I don't think there is any excuse for not spending time with your kids. The laws are now in place to protect the dads who want to be with their kids. The courts will give you the time IF you have the desire to the father the kid deserves. At some point, dad and mom need to find common ground and form a respectful relationship for the sake of the kids. Remember, you got to the point of not controlling your flesh and they were born as a result.
I believe I especially enjoyed hearing why they didn't get married to these women. One caller was very blunt when he told her that he didn't want to marry her. One of my associates said, he only wanted to have sex. Another said that she said she wanted to have his kid. Now, this speaks to several things. If you play with fire, expect to get burned. Are we not teaching our children that their bodies are a gift to be saved until marriage? Are we validating them so that they don't run into the arms of someone who is telling them what they want to hear? I found it compelling that a girl would tell a young man that I want to have your baby and he being stupid enough to do it. There are lifelong implications that go along with having a child. Babies are not little dolls that you can put on a shelf and leave there until you are ready to play with it again.
My turn. I could have just as easily been in the same position. Before I got saved - FOR REAL, and not play with God, I had a close call with a young lady. I knew that I should have taken responsibility for my actions. I was taught before going to college that I needed to use condoms if I was going to engage in sex. My uncles taught me not to fall into the trap of becoming a teenage father. The biggest lie ever told to young men is - "it doesn't feel the same if you wear one" First of all, I had no business having sex when my mind should have been focused on my education. What if I had a kid at a young age? Did I care enough about her to want to marry her? Did I even have an idea of what being in love was? Yes, it was just my flesh wanting to be fulfilled. It wasn't until the night I tried to kill myself that I gave my entire heart to God, asked for forgiveness for my mistakes and sins, that my flesh fell in line with His Word.
If the truth be told, I had no plans to EVER marry that young woman. That scare was one of the worst experiences of my life. She proved herself to me though, she would sleep with any guy that smiled at her - I should have seen the clues.
Once, I came home and gave my heart to God - my flesh fell in line. It was a sermon - Gone Too Far, Stayed Too Long. The pastor preached it and it spoke directly to me.
Romeo, Romeo where for art thou? Romeo is at home wondering how to make things right. Romeo is praying to God to get his heart right. Romeo wants to let her know that he should have done his part to protect both of them. Romeo is now a saved young man and he is going to give that child the father is a stand up guy. He is not going to allow an angry mother to place a wedge between him and the kid. He wants the kid to know that he/she is loved. He is going to support the kid and ask the court to enforce his rights to visit with and have overnighters with his kid. He is going to seek the Lord for direction. And, if he is a teen father - he will ask his family to teach him how to take care of his kid.
So, good for you my friend. You have a great talk show. Keep touching those areas that the four walled churches are not speaking about. Your show reminds me of Isaiah 6:6-8 when the angel took the tongs from the fire and touched his lips to cleanse him. Your topics are timely and your show structure is perfect. Check her out on Wednesday's at 1PM by clicking on the following link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Scratching My Head
It's no secret that I love North Carolina. I wish I could have moved here earlier in my life. It's a good thing God is in control or I would have messed up a long time ago.
Why am I scratching my round bald head? Even up to today, I am still deciding who to vote for. I told you before that I never vote party line, I vote my heart. I am registered "unaffiliated" and not ashamed of it. For many years when I first learned how to vote, I never did the research on candidates, and just voted as I was told. Thank God for having a mind of my own.
Down here in NC, we get a voters guide that ask all of the candidates the same questions and gives them the opportunity to respond weeks before publications. I am amazed that a person running for public office would not answer the same set of questions posed to every other candidate running for the same office. Even when you go on their website, there is nothing that speaks to questions. They are even given the option of going on the NC Family website and answer the questions, and still no response.
I have watched so many debates, listened to far too many town hall meetings, read page after page of articles (realizing that the media can be one sided) and shook too many cold, clammy hands while looking into a Slick Willy Smile. So, I am scratching my head and looking into the incumbents past voting history to see where they stood. If I lean toward their record, I vote for them. My votes are all over the place right now and I haven't even gone to the polls yet. I do know that NC is a predominantly Republican state. I don't agree with everything they do, but they are starting to "say what the people want to hear" I need to see action and commitment to what you said.
I have filled out the page in the guide that allows you to write down who you want to vote for. I am going to go down the street to the clubhouse and cast my vote. I have asked God to direct my hand and give me the right names to vote for.
Do I want to see a shift in the House and Senate? Do I want to see things continue on the current path and see if the current administration can make a change? Will the President be standing in front of cameras reaching across the aisle? Will the other side of the aisle be in temper tantrum mode because they want their ball and go home? Are we fast becoming the people of Israel asking for "king" that we don't need.
Instead of scratching, I should be praying for God to heal our land. Once you get past all of the mudslinging, can I even see the true character of the people who want to be our leaders. I know we better pray for those who are there now and those to come. Regardless of what color takes over Congress, red or blue, we are still Americans, and we have to come together at some point and get our country back on it's feet. I know that I am not voting for the dude that sent 130K jobs across seas and is now clawing for his job. I hate to say this, but, join the club buddy -jobless and searching.
I love that I can be an American. I can say this with pride - I am committed to doing my part to make this a great country to live in. I will teach my children the value of their vote, and to never miss a chance to cast that ballot. I will teach them that abstaining means you are fine with the way things are and that you can't complain when things don't go your way.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Scout Leader
Well tonight, I had to lead my very first Pack Meeting as Cub Master. I walked into the church and I was about as nervous as I could be. Looking out at a sea of faces, both young and old was a bit intimidating. For some strange reason, I felt uneasy. As many times as I have preached a sermon, taught Sunday School, sang in the choir, spoke at seminars and many more public speaking events -this one made me nervous.
I am not sure it was because of the shoes I had to fill, the expectation of the scouts, the looks of the veteran parents vs the new parents, or my own excitement. No matter what, it was a good night. We started at 6:45 and we were out of there at 7:43. I thought that the night was moving slowly and then I looked at the clock. I was so determined to be out of there in 2 hours or less. I never thought we would be out in under an hour.
No problem, I now know that I can stretch things out a little more, give the scouts more time and make the meeting more fun for everyone. I am looking forward to doing more, and putting my own stamp on the pack. I completely forgot to give credit to one of the dads for his hard work on the website..
The scouts this year are great. I wouldn't trade even one of them for anything. There is one of my older scouts who took a brand new first grader and made that little boy his personal project. Both mothers were ecstatic with the prospect of the 5th grader taking a 1st grader under his wing. It goes to show that scouting does work for all of the boys. When one can take the program and have the desire to teach it to a younger one - then we have won this battle and the war is ours.
This Pack makes me wan t to do more and to do better week after week. Some of our leaders just go above and beyond the call of duty and they make my job so easy to do. I have a few bumps in the road to work out, but things are still going forward. If I fall down, I can get back up and try again.
Now that tonight is over, I am expecting more strength for the next obstacle and journey. I have some bridges to rebuild with friends that I miss. No, I am not perfect and trust me, there are those who remind me. However, I am trying to be a good person and friend. Again, I love my friends in scouting.
I am not sure it was because of the shoes I had to fill, the expectation of the scouts, the looks of the veteran parents vs the new parents, or my own excitement. No matter what, it was a good night. We started at 6:45 and we were out of there at 7:43. I thought that the night was moving slowly and then I looked at the clock. I was so determined to be out of there in 2 hours or less. I never thought we would be out in under an hour.
No problem, I now know that I can stretch things out a little more, give the scouts more time and make the meeting more fun for everyone. I am looking forward to doing more, and putting my own stamp on the pack. I completely forgot to give credit to one of the dads for his hard work on the website..
The scouts this year are great. I wouldn't trade even one of them for anything. There is one of my older scouts who took a brand new first grader and made that little boy his personal project. Both mothers were ecstatic with the prospect of the 5th grader taking a 1st grader under his wing. It goes to show that scouting does work for all of the boys. When one can take the program and have the desire to teach it to a younger one - then we have won this battle and the war is ours.
This Pack makes me wan t to do more and to do better week after week. Some of our leaders just go above and beyond the call of duty and they make my job so easy to do. I have a few bumps in the road to work out, but things are still going forward. If I fall down, I can get back up and try again.
Now that tonight is over, I am expecting more strength for the next obstacle and journey. I have some bridges to rebuild with friends that I miss. No, I am not perfect and trust me, there are those who remind me. However, I am trying to be a good person and friend. Again, I love my friends in scouting.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Trying to Work It Out
Today has been a day of "let's work things out the best we can" I just got off of the phone with a mattress company to see what the warranty is on 3 sets of bedding that we purchased when we bought the house last year. To my surprise it's only 1 year because they were "promo" sets. I asked how was I supposed to know that and where is that stated on the mattress labels.
Well, there is nothing on the labels to indicate there is a limited warranty. Needing to know what recourse I have - they told me that is now water under the bridge and I could buy a new set if I wanted to upgrade the bedding. I don't have a problem with the bedding, I have a problem with deceptive business practices. As consumers we have the right to have all product information disclosed up front where we can see them. Who knew that the word "code" stood for "warranty" Everyone is looking for ways to keep their business afloat and I really do understand that in these economic times. But, don't hurt the person who is keeping your business operating.
So what did I do, I called the State of NC to find out what people do if they feel like they have been taken advantage of. They said you have to file a complaint with them, call the BBB and let the manufacturer know you are filing said complaint. I get, cover all of your bases. No problem - will do.
Anyway, this morning I am listening to the Yolanda Adams Morning Show and she has the President on her show. He was there stressing the importance of getting out to vote in this mid-term election. I do plan to get out and vote and I plan to vote with my heart after much prayer. I want to make sure that the people I vote for, are the people who are going to make a difference in this country on every level. I have never voted party line because I am not a registered democrat or republican. Do I think our President is doing a good job? There are days I love him and days I wonder "what was he thinking?". Either way, I am supposed to pray for him and every other leader. Not to dance around my own question, I think he is doing what he can, with the hand he has been dealt.
I don't agree with everything he does. I would like to see more progress on a bipartisan level. I have days when I feel like that lady at the town hall meeting who told him that she was frustrated by his administration. I was not looking for some magical fairy dust to make everything better overnight, I was looking for some kind of relief by now. Someone needs to make all of these banks give back to the homeowners so they can keep their homes. Someone needs to force these companies that were given billions to create the jobs that were promised when they got stimulus funding. Someone needs to make sure our senior citizens are taken care of - they did their part by building this country and then we turn our backs on them - shame on us.
I was just offered a job to aide senior citizens in getting supplemental insurance to go with their medicare. When they told me that I would also have to "eventually" go after their IRA's, pensions, annunities, etc and reinvest them - my Christian integrity kicked in. I do not want to or wish to be a predator of the elderly and their money. What if you give them bad advice and they lose everything? How can you sleep at night knowing that you are taking their money to make money in a dishonest way? I am sure the reason I did not get the job is because I came a across as apprehensive to the idea.
I am back at square one looking for a job. No worries, God is working all things out for the good of them that LOVE the Lord and are the called according to HIS purpose. Besides, He promised to show me a more excellent way.
Working things out may take more time than I would like, but time is all I have right now. I am going to go into the polls next Tuesday and vote with my heart. Forget all of the negative ads on TV, the personal attacks they have against each other, and who is endorsing who - I really don't care. I just want to know what can you honestly do for the state of the town,state and country. Don't make me a bunch of promises you can't keep, or don't intend to honor. Be a man or woman of your word. Everybody has some skeletons in their closet that they wish would stay there. Your past is your past. Let's move forward and get things accomplished for our children and the future of this country.
I enjoy sitting in on the town hall meeting via the phone with Sue Myrick (Republican). She doesn't care that I am not in her party, she cares about what's on my mind and she answers all questions with a genuine heart. I am going to vote for her. Her record stands for itself and no one can question her intent, or her stand on the issues. There are some that I voted for before, that I do not intend to vote for again. Yes, it is time for change on all levels. Let's just make sure we have given change a chance. I don't expect miracle from the President after 18 months - I do expect tangible results. I am not disheartened by him, I am however concerned for him. Will he get a second term - no one knows, will the Congress shift to the other party - no one really knows. What I do know, is that along with millions of other Americans who are trying to work things out - I am tired of the same lack of results day after day. I know I will not EVER vote for Palin
As a people of this country, let your voice be heard. Offer up ideas to get the country back to work. Get our jobs back from foreign countries, they aren't sending theirs here. Time to work it out.
Well, there is nothing on the labels to indicate there is a limited warranty. Needing to know what recourse I have - they told me that is now water under the bridge and I could buy a new set if I wanted to upgrade the bedding. I don't have a problem with the bedding, I have a problem with deceptive business practices. As consumers we have the right to have all product information disclosed up front where we can see them. Who knew that the word "code" stood for "warranty" Everyone is looking for ways to keep their business afloat and I really do understand that in these economic times. But, don't hurt the person who is keeping your business operating.
So what did I do, I called the State of NC to find out what people do if they feel like they have been taken advantage of. They said you have to file a complaint with them, call the BBB and let the manufacturer know you are filing said complaint. I get, cover all of your bases. No problem - will do.
Anyway, this morning I am listening to the Yolanda Adams Morning Show and she has the President on her show. He was there stressing the importance of getting out to vote in this mid-term election. I do plan to get out and vote and I plan to vote with my heart after much prayer. I want to make sure that the people I vote for, are the people who are going to make a difference in this country on every level. I have never voted party line because I am not a registered democrat or republican. Do I think our President is doing a good job? There are days I love him and days I wonder "what was he thinking?". Either way, I am supposed to pray for him and every other leader. Not to dance around my own question, I think he is doing what he can, with the hand he has been dealt.
I don't agree with everything he does. I would like to see more progress on a bipartisan level. I have days when I feel like that lady at the town hall meeting who told him that she was frustrated by his administration. I was not looking for some magical fairy dust to make everything better overnight, I was looking for some kind of relief by now. Someone needs to make all of these banks give back to the homeowners so they can keep their homes. Someone needs to force these companies that were given billions to create the jobs that were promised when they got stimulus funding. Someone needs to make sure our senior citizens are taken care of - they did their part by building this country and then we turn our backs on them - shame on us.
I was just offered a job to aide senior citizens in getting supplemental insurance to go with their medicare. When they told me that I would also have to "eventually" go after their IRA's, pensions, annunities, etc and reinvest them - my Christian integrity kicked in. I do not want to or wish to be a predator of the elderly and their money. What if you give them bad advice and they lose everything? How can you sleep at night knowing that you are taking their money to make money in a dishonest way? I am sure the reason I did not get the job is because I came a across as apprehensive to the idea.
I am back at square one looking for a job. No worries, God is working all things out for the good of them that LOVE the Lord and are the called according to HIS purpose. Besides, He promised to show me a more excellent way.
Working things out may take more time than I would like, but time is all I have right now. I am going to go into the polls next Tuesday and vote with my heart. Forget all of the negative ads on TV, the personal attacks they have against each other, and who is endorsing who - I really don't care. I just want to know what can you honestly do for the state of the town,state and country. Don't make me a bunch of promises you can't keep, or don't intend to honor. Be a man or woman of your word. Everybody has some skeletons in their closet that they wish would stay there. Your past is your past. Let's move forward and get things accomplished for our children and the future of this country.
I enjoy sitting in on the town hall meeting via the phone with Sue Myrick (Republican). She doesn't care that I am not in her party, she cares about what's on my mind and she answers all questions with a genuine heart. I am going to vote for her. Her record stands for itself and no one can question her intent, or her stand on the issues. There are some that I voted for before, that I do not intend to vote for again. Yes, it is time for change on all levels. Let's just make sure we have given change a chance. I don't expect miracle from the President after 18 months - I do expect tangible results. I am not disheartened by him, I am however concerned for him. Will he get a second term - no one knows, will the Congress shift to the other party - no one really knows. What I do know, is that along with millions of other Americans who are trying to work things out - I am tired of the same lack of results day after day. I know I will not EVER vote for Palin
As a people of this country, let your voice be heard. Offer up ideas to get the country back to work. Get our jobs back from foreign countries, they aren't sending theirs here. Time to work it out.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Merit Based Pay Looking Better and Better
Yesterday my son came home and told me that a teacher's aide would not help him get onto a computer system that the entire class was working on. He said he raised his hand, asked for help and she told him, "I help you every Tuesday and I am not helping you - keep trying" Well, he tried and tried. He tried for 1/2 an hour and then it was time for his class to leave. He never got to work on his reading comprehension module, he never got to work on vocabulary building skills and he never got to learn new skills.
Angry doesn't begin to describe how I am feeling. Irate, appalled, dismayed and discouraged are better adjectives to describe the steam building up inside of this tea kettle. Before I blew up, I had to ask some very important questions. What did you do while the rest of the class worked - answer - nothing? Did you keep asking for help - yes? Did she help other students - yes? Did she give you your new password and username - yes? Did you tell your teacher - no? What program were you working on - Study Island? How long is the class-1/2 and hour. The questions went on for about 20 minutes until I had enough information to call/email the school with.
His teacher got back to me right away and I am waiting for the aide and the principal to respond. I want to know why she has a job that she is not willing to take the time to help EVERY student no matter how many times the password doesn't work. There are too many teachers and aides out of work who would love to have her job. These are 3rd grade kids we are talking about. Ask them what they typed, and then demonstrate for them how to get into the system. Stand there long enough to watch those who need help, enter their personal information.
It's people like this particular aide who make teachers look bad. She was the perfect argument for merit based pay vs tenure pay. It wasn't until I looked further, that I discovered she was an aide and not a teacher. This has caused quite the debate in my house. Education is one of those areas that I am going to become a pit bull and fight until ALL children are getting the best that the Board of Ed can offer. I am not looking for special treatment for my children - I am looking for schools to treat them equally. My son has enough educational development issues to deal with and then he is sitting at dinner last night with his head down because he is confused and upset because he couldn't get the help he needed. Not good - time to meet the staff and talk about this. I will keep my cool and I will not blow up. I know that many of the kids there know me as the Room Dad, Cub Master, Sunday School Teacher, etc., etc. - they need to see how adults are supposed to act instead of how I might want to act.
Yes, I am angry and will not sin in that anger. Thank God the Bible doesn't say "don't get angry" Afterall, Jesus was angry when he overturned the tables of the money changers in His Father's House for ripping off the people who were there to buy dove and lambs for the sacrifice. I don't plan on going Jersey Housewives table turning on them, but I do plan to turn the tables and ask her how she could treat a student this way.
I just hope she doesn't question him without a parent present - that wouldn't be good. The CT school system knows me all too well to know that I will go to the next level before they can blink an eye. I just hope they don't make me go there. If I don't get the answers from the local, I am going to the county. If they can't answer me, I am going to the state. Somebody is going to resolve whatever issues I see. Again, it's not just for my kids - it's for all kids.
Do your job with excellence, or find a new one!!!!!!!!
Angry doesn't begin to describe how I am feeling. Irate, appalled, dismayed and discouraged are better adjectives to describe the steam building up inside of this tea kettle. Before I blew up, I had to ask some very important questions. What did you do while the rest of the class worked - answer - nothing? Did you keep asking for help - yes? Did she help other students - yes? Did she give you your new password and username - yes? Did you tell your teacher - no? What program were you working on - Study Island? How long is the class-1/2 and hour. The questions went on for about 20 minutes until I had enough information to call/email the school with.
His teacher got back to me right away and I am waiting for the aide and the principal to respond. I want to know why she has a job that she is not willing to take the time to help EVERY student no matter how many times the password doesn't work. There are too many teachers and aides out of work who would love to have her job. These are 3rd grade kids we are talking about. Ask them what they typed, and then demonstrate for them how to get into the system. Stand there long enough to watch those who need help, enter their personal information.
It's people like this particular aide who make teachers look bad. She was the perfect argument for merit based pay vs tenure pay. It wasn't until I looked further, that I discovered she was an aide and not a teacher. This has caused quite the debate in my house. Education is one of those areas that I am going to become a pit bull and fight until ALL children are getting the best that the Board of Ed can offer. I am not looking for special treatment for my children - I am looking for schools to treat them equally. My son has enough educational development issues to deal with and then he is sitting at dinner last night with his head down because he is confused and upset because he couldn't get the help he needed. Not good - time to meet the staff and talk about this. I will keep my cool and I will not blow up. I know that many of the kids there know me as the Room Dad, Cub Master, Sunday School Teacher, etc., etc. - they need to see how adults are supposed to act instead of how I might want to act.
Yes, I am angry and will not sin in that anger. Thank God the Bible doesn't say "don't get angry" Afterall, Jesus was angry when he overturned the tables of the money changers in His Father's House for ripping off the people who were there to buy dove and lambs for the sacrifice. I don't plan on going Jersey Housewives table turning on them, but I do plan to turn the tables and ask her how she could treat a student this way.
I just hope she doesn't question him without a parent present - that wouldn't be good. The CT school system knows me all too well to know that I will go to the next level before they can blink an eye. I just hope they don't make me go there. If I don't get the answers from the local, I am going to the county. If they can't answer me, I am going to the state. Somebody is going to resolve whatever issues I see. Again, it's not just for my kids - it's for all kids.
Do your job with excellence, or find a new one!!!!!!!!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Pondering
This is going to be a day of pondering. Why - new day, new issues, joys, thoughts, etc. Today I am going to go to this job agency and pray all the way there that, they have an interview for me. Parking in Charlotte is like parking in mid-town Manhattan - EXPENSIVE. The last time I went uptown and parked in the Bank of America lot - they charged me $12 for two hours, and I was interviewing for them. So I sit and ponder right now. How much am I going to miss being a stay at home dad? Will the kids suffer from me not being home when they arrive? How do we manage dinner now? What happens to my "Room Dad" status? Will Cub Scouts pay the cost of me not being able to work on things during the day?
A lot of questions that are in need of answers. What to do, what to do?
I'll tell you what I am going to do. I am going to go to this agency today and see what they have to say and what they have to offer. I just pray they are not trying to send me all the way to Spartanburg, SC again. Really, who commutes 100 miles each way to work? I don't want to go from on extreme to another by seeing my family all do - to never seeing them at all. It was a good company and the pay was excellent, but I just couldn't leave the house at 6AM and get back home after 8PM - IF traffic wasn't bad. I am going to go upstairs, iron my shirt and get going.
We took our son and one of his friends to Carowinds(amusement park) yesterday. What a great day out - it was 75+ degrees and light winds. We chose the perfect time of day - right after church. They do something there called Scarowinds - for halloween. There is a kid-friendly version that we just walked past. It's funny how two boys can act one way at home and a do a complete 180 in public. His friend usually tries to get Michael to try new things, new games, etc when we are at home. Take that same friend to the park and Michael is now the leader getting him to try new rides and take more risks. They balanced each other and it was good to watch.
I am so thankful for the friends that he has on the street we live on. They are good boys and they genuinely like being with each other. Now that it's getting a bit cooler, that means our house is about to be filled with the laughter of three boys, shoes piled up at the door, snacks flowing into the game room and the three of them deciding who is going to go first when they play Wii and Xbox. What happens when I go to work - I miss out on all of that, that's what happens. Strange, now that a remote chance of an interview is looming in the corner - I find myself questioning if I really want to go back to work. Trust me, I want to go to work and I want to be able to be home when the kids get here. In my field of accounting - the chances of that happening are slim to none.
I missed out on a lot when I worked full time for an international company. The hours were long (8AM - 9/10PM) and it was expected that I would stay and get the job done. I promised myself that I would never sacrifice my family like that again and I need to honor that promise. I need to be honest going into the job with myself and the employer about my quality of life. The last thing I want to do is have another stroke at work because of the stress.
There are people in my life who say one thing and do something else. I am fine with that, just don't think that me and the rest of the world are idiots. We are on to you and we know you well. We know you well enough not to ask you to do too much, for favors, or expect too much from you. I wonder and ponder why people treat each other that way. They never see their own faults, but are quick to point out yours to you, and then have the nerve to demand that you change who you are to accommodate them. My favorite is the person who gives parental advise, yet their own children act like the seed of Chucky, mixed with a little Dennis the Menace and topped off with a dollop of a UFC fighter. They think their child(ren) are just being kids - wrong. It's called a lack of parental control. Be careful - the news is full of children from "good homes, and we never saw it coming" You saw it, you just chose to look the other way and blamed it on ADD ,ADHD, ODD and all of the other "diagnosis" the doctor tried to come up with.
It's not about a new found term for bad behavior, or a new pill to shove down a kid's throat, it's about giving the power back to the parents. Like Madea said - "Cora threatened to call 911, I slapped her so hard, she dialed 919" No I am not advocating abusing your child, I am saying that they need to learn that there are boundaries and not to cross them. As hard as it is to raise little children, it's just as hard raising a young adult, teens, preteens and an adolescent. They have to have the last word, want to talk back and disrespect you, and cut you off mid-sentence. I had to tell one my girls "I am so sorry that the beginning of your sentence interrupted the middle of mine? I have come to a place of ZERO tolerance. It's corrected on the spot - you come at me wrong in public, it's corrected on the spot. I have to keep the stress level down. No more holding it in!!!!!!!!!!
I have a new kind of stress and I like it. I stress over making sure homework gets done, what's for dinner and do I have the ingredients in the house, how do I get the kids in all places at the same time, how much laundry needs to be done, how can I make my wife happier, church, scouts, community? It's the little things that I stress over and it keeps my blood pressure down to a comfortable level.
Pondering - just thinking about all that the day holds. Thinking back over the events of the previous day while I smile about them. I choose to focus on the good things, realizing that there were a few road bumps along the way. The time spent between the bumps, are worth laughing and smiling about until I get that wonderful pain in my side that causes tears to run down my cheeks because I am so blessed.
A lot of questions that are in need of answers. What to do, what to do?
I'll tell you what I am going to do. I am going to go to this agency today and see what they have to say and what they have to offer. I just pray they are not trying to send me all the way to Spartanburg, SC again. Really, who commutes 100 miles each way to work? I don't want to go from on extreme to another by seeing my family all do - to never seeing them at all. It was a good company and the pay was excellent, but I just couldn't leave the house at 6AM and get back home after 8PM - IF traffic wasn't bad. I am going to go upstairs, iron my shirt and get going.
We took our son and one of his friends to Carowinds(amusement park) yesterday. What a great day out - it was 75+ degrees and light winds. We chose the perfect time of day - right after church. They do something there called Scarowinds - for halloween. There is a kid-friendly version that we just walked past. It's funny how two boys can act one way at home and a do a complete 180 in public. His friend usually tries to get Michael to try new things, new games, etc when we are at home. Take that same friend to the park and Michael is now the leader getting him to try new rides and take more risks. They balanced each other and it was good to watch.
I am so thankful for the friends that he has on the street we live on. They are good boys and they genuinely like being with each other. Now that it's getting a bit cooler, that means our house is about to be filled with the laughter of three boys, shoes piled up at the door, snacks flowing into the game room and the three of them deciding who is going to go first when they play Wii and Xbox. What happens when I go to work - I miss out on all of that, that's what happens. Strange, now that a remote chance of an interview is looming in the corner - I find myself questioning if I really want to go back to work. Trust me, I want to go to work and I want to be able to be home when the kids get here. In my field of accounting - the chances of that happening are slim to none.
I missed out on a lot when I worked full time for an international company. The hours were long (8AM - 9/10PM) and it was expected that I would stay and get the job done. I promised myself that I would never sacrifice my family like that again and I need to honor that promise. I need to be honest going into the job with myself and the employer about my quality of life. The last thing I want to do is have another stroke at work because of the stress.
There are people in my life who say one thing and do something else. I am fine with that, just don't think that me and the rest of the world are idiots. We are on to you and we know you well. We know you well enough not to ask you to do too much, for favors, or expect too much from you. I wonder and ponder why people treat each other that way. They never see their own faults, but are quick to point out yours to you, and then have the nerve to demand that you change who you are to accommodate them. My favorite is the person who gives parental advise, yet their own children act like the seed of Chucky, mixed with a little Dennis the Menace and topped off with a dollop of a UFC fighter. They think their child(ren) are just being kids - wrong. It's called a lack of parental control. Be careful - the news is full of children from "good homes, and we never saw it coming" You saw it, you just chose to look the other way and blamed it on ADD ,ADHD, ODD and all of the other "diagnosis" the doctor tried to come up with.
It's not about a new found term for bad behavior, or a new pill to shove down a kid's throat, it's about giving the power back to the parents. Like Madea said - "Cora threatened to call 911, I slapped her so hard, she dialed 919" No I am not advocating abusing your child, I am saying that they need to learn that there are boundaries and not to cross them. As hard as it is to raise little children, it's just as hard raising a young adult, teens, preteens and an adolescent. They have to have the last word, want to talk back and disrespect you, and cut you off mid-sentence. I had to tell one my girls "I am so sorry that the beginning of your sentence interrupted the middle of mine? I have come to a place of ZERO tolerance. It's corrected on the spot - you come at me wrong in public, it's corrected on the spot. I have to keep the stress level down. No more holding it in!!!!!!!!!!
I have a new kind of stress and I like it. I stress over making sure homework gets done, what's for dinner and do I have the ingredients in the house, how do I get the kids in all places at the same time, how much laundry needs to be done, how can I make my wife happier, church, scouts, community? It's the little things that I stress over and it keeps my blood pressure down to a comfortable level.
Pondering - just thinking about all that the day holds. Thinking back over the events of the previous day while I smile about them. I choose to focus on the good things, realizing that there were a few road bumps along the way. The time spent between the bumps, are worth laughing and smiling about until I get that wonderful pain in my side that causes tears to run down my cheeks because I am so blessed.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thanks Tyler Perry
Last night I sat with my wife and watched Oprah as Tyler Perry shared about his life. Thank God a man is willing to be vulnerable with the rest of the world. He spoke about how he was sexually and physically abused by several men and a woman - all before he was a teenager.
Before I knew what happened, I was overcome with emotion. It all came back to me. I can still remember the day like it was yesterday. June 12, 1979. I was out delivering the local paper and I got to his apartment to get my payment of $1.20 - the paper was $0.20 a day with no Sunday paper. Mr. Green (not his real name) had a habit of answering his door in his underwear. As a kid, you don't think much of it. But this day something was different about the way he came to the door. I wasn't sure what it was, but he was different this day. He told me to come in while he got the money. I didn't think anything of it because I went into everyone's house to get paid. Mr. Green came back out of his room and told me to lock the door because his lock was broken. Being to trusting - I locked it and then his underwear went to the floor and he grabbed me, dragged me into his bedroom and he raped me. He told me not to make a sound and not to tell anybody or he would hurt me and them. I yelled into the bed when I felt him rip through me. When he was done, he told me to get dressed and get out. I left crying holding tight to my delivery bag. I threw all of the remaining papers in the trash and sat behind the dumpster until I got myself together. I could feel the dampness of my underwear from the blood so I ran home and jumped in the shower. I couldn't stay in there in long enough to wash his disgusting scent off of my body. The shower was painful and I kept bleeding. I put the clothes in a bag, tied it up and threw it in the dumpster. I felt worthless, bruised and thought everyone knew my "little" secret. The shame that goes with the hurt is debilitating. I never delivered the paper again after that day. Everyone wanted to know why - and I never gave a good enough reason.
That jerk would sit out on his front porch and taunt me for weeks, asking where his paper was. He kept saying he was going to report me to the local paper - and he did. They called my house and asked me to keep delivering the paper and I refused to. There were 50+ homes that now had to go an buy the paper at a local store, and he thought he got the last laugh.
It hurt for days to go to the bathroom and to sit down. My entire life changed after that day. It was the end of the school year and I became disconnected from most of my friends. I didn't want to be bothered with anyone. Like Tyler Perry said last night - I didn't see the triggers. Gym class became a place of torment for me. I was so confused when we would change for gym and seeing the other boys in their underwear scared the life out of me. I remember having to play dodge ball in gym and Mr. Mewing reaching for me as I hid the corner - he had to call home and get someone to talk me out. My grades began to slip, my behavior was changing and I would never look at the male species the same again. I carried that burden for almost 9 years before I told anyone. It wasn't until I was in college and got a call from one of my hometown friends telling me that a former neighbor had died. I went home just to make sure he was in fact dead - I felt such a relief.
Being one of 10 male college cheerleaders was a blast and a torture at the same time. At one particular football game, we were changing out of our uniforms with the football team in the next room and I kept hearing locks and seeing naked players - I freaked out and ran out. My friend John (also my roommate), came after me. I thought I was done with this mess. Before I knew it, I was trying to kill myself sitting on a table outside the student union. I had to go home and tell someone. I had to tell how I felt and come to understand that I didn't do anything to deserve it. Just like I didn't do anything to deserve being locked in a closet, called dumb and stupid. Being told that I was nothing and that I would never be good for anything. I hated men in authority. I had little to no respect for them and I put up a wall that would not be broken down. I blamed my father - which ever man it is - for leaving me and not being there to protect me. After all, I was only 13 years old and puberty was doing a number on me.
Church had it's own set of abuses. If you ever need healing from a controlling pastor who manipulated the members into getting what he wants - at your expense - read "War In The Pews." That's a sermon for another day. Some Pastors ' black and white - will destroy you if you aren't careful and watchful.
Thank you Tyler for being a strong enough man to stand up and talk about what you've been through. Thanks for shedding light on what's really going on in the home and in the world. As a people, African Americans are taught at a very young age,that "what goes on in our house, stays in our house and you better not tell anybody"
Where is my life now. I am at a place of being healed. I love what Tyler said in one of his plays, "forgiveness is not for the other person, it's for you so you can move on with your life" Nothing could be more true. Once I forgave, I was able to completely healed. Am I 100% with all of my relationships - no. Because I forgive, doesn't mean I have to have a continued relationship with the person. It means I forgive you. Hurt me once - shame on you, hurt me twice - shame on me. I will be cordial and kind, but the relationship will probably never be the same. I forgive all of the abusive pastors, I forgive my mother, my uncles and the men who claim to be my father, I forgive all of the guys who called me names even though they were unaware of what my past was like. Most of all, I forgive myself for allowing the thoughts, the memories and people have control over me.
Whenever I hear a kid say they have been hurt - and they give major details - I believe them the first time. Especially when it's about a family member or a close friend of the family. There, it's out there for the world to see. The sense of relief that I have right now is only from God. A weight has been lifted and I don't have to wonder if men are looking at me in a strange way. I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!! I know who I am, and whose I am. I am a child of God. I love my male friends, my real friends, and I have no problem telling them that I love them. A real man is secure with his manhood. I am safe in the arms of a God who will never leave me, nor forsake me.
So to all of my male friends reading this, I love you man. Grab your son, hug him and tell him that you love him.
Before I knew what happened, I was overcome with emotion. It all came back to me. I can still remember the day like it was yesterday. June 12, 1979. I was out delivering the local paper and I got to his apartment to get my payment of $1.20 - the paper was $0.20 a day with no Sunday paper. Mr. Green (not his real name) had a habit of answering his door in his underwear. As a kid, you don't think much of it. But this day something was different about the way he came to the door. I wasn't sure what it was, but he was different this day. He told me to come in while he got the money. I didn't think anything of it because I went into everyone's house to get paid. Mr. Green came back out of his room and told me to lock the door because his lock was broken. Being to trusting - I locked it and then his underwear went to the floor and he grabbed me, dragged me into his bedroom and he raped me. He told me not to make a sound and not to tell anybody or he would hurt me and them. I yelled into the bed when I felt him rip through me. When he was done, he told me to get dressed and get out. I left crying holding tight to my delivery bag. I threw all of the remaining papers in the trash and sat behind the dumpster until I got myself together. I could feel the dampness of my underwear from the blood so I ran home and jumped in the shower. I couldn't stay in there in long enough to wash his disgusting scent off of my body. The shower was painful and I kept bleeding. I put the clothes in a bag, tied it up and threw it in the dumpster. I felt worthless, bruised and thought everyone knew my "little" secret. The shame that goes with the hurt is debilitating. I never delivered the paper again after that day. Everyone wanted to know why - and I never gave a good enough reason.
That jerk would sit out on his front porch and taunt me for weeks, asking where his paper was. He kept saying he was going to report me to the local paper - and he did. They called my house and asked me to keep delivering the paper and I refused to. There were 50+ homes that now had to go an buy the paper at a local store, and he thought he got the last laugh.
It hurt for days to go to the bathroom and to sit down. My entire life changed after that day. It was the end of the school year and I became disconnected from most of my friends. I didn't want to be bothered with anyone. Like Tyler Perry said last night - I didn't see the triggers. Gym class became a place of torment for me. I was so confused when we would change for gym and seeing the other boys in their underwear scared the life out of me. I remember having to play dodge ball in gym and Mr. Mewing reaching for me as I hid the corner - he had to call home and get someone to talk me out. My grades began to slip, my behavior was changing and I would never look at the male species the same again. I carried that burden for almost 9 years before I told anyone. It wasn't until I was in college and got a call from one of my hometown friends telling me that a former neighbor had died. I went home just to make sure he was in fact dead - I felt such a relief.
Being one of 10 male college cheerleaders was a blast and a torture at the same time. At one particular football game, we were changing out of our uniforms with the football team in the next room and I kept hearing locks and seeing naked players - I freaked out and ran out. My friend John (also my roommate), came after me. I thought I was done with this mess. Before I knew it, I was trying to kill myself sitting on a table outside the student union. I had to go home and tell someone. I had to tell how I felt and come to understand that I didn't do anything to deserve it. Just like I didn't do anything to deserve being locked in a closet, called dumb and stupid. Being told that I was nothing and that I would never be good for anything. I hated men in authority. I had little to no respect for them and I put up a wall that would not be broken down. I blamed my father - which ever man it is - for leaving me and not being there to protect me. After all, I was only 13 years old and puberty was doing a number on me.
Church had it's own set of abuses. If you ever need healing from a controlling pastor who manipulated the members into getting what he wants - at your expense - read "War In The Pews." That's a sermon for another day. Some Pastors ' black and white - will destroy you if you aren't careful and watchful.
Thank you Tyler for being a strong enough man to stand up and talk about what you've been through. Thanks for shedding light on what's really going on in the home and in the world. As a people, African Americans are taught at a very young age,that "what goes on in our house, stays in our house and you better not tell anybody"
Where is my life now. I am at a place of being healed. I love what Tyler said in one of his plays, "forgiveness is not for the other person, it's for you so you can move on with your life" Nothing could be more true. Once I forgave, I was able to completely healed. Am I 100% with all of my relationships - no. Because I forgive, doesn't mean I have to have a continued relationship with the person. It means I forgive you. Hurt me once - shame on you, hurt me twice - shame on me. I will be cordial and kind, but the relationship will probably never be the same. I forgive all of the abusive pastors, I forgive my mother, my uncles and the men who claim to be my father, I forgive all of the guys who called me names even though they were unaware of what my past was like. Most of all, I forgive myself for allowing the thoughts, the memories and people have control over me.
Whenever I hear a kid say they have been hurt - and they give major details - I believe them the first time. Especially when it's about a family member or a close friend of the family. There, it's out there for the world to see. The sense of relief that I have right now is only from God. A weight has been lifted and I don't have to wonder if men are looking at me in a strange way. I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!! I know who I am, and whose I am. I am a child of God. I love my male friends, my real friends, and I have no problem telling them that I love them. A real man is secure with his manhood. I am safe in the arms of a God who will never leave me, nor forsake me.
So to all of my male friends reading this, I love you man. Grab your son, hug him and tell him that you love him.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A Feeling of Gratitude
Today I am awestruck by the hearts of the people I serve with at church, scouts and in the community. I thank my God that I am surrounded by people with a positive outlook on life. There are some people who came up for the day this past weekend and I was so happy to see them. I was scheduled to take 62 people camping and we took a total of 72. We had more than enough food, more than enough camping spaces, more then enough games for the boys to play, and more than enough of ourselves to give.
I am sitting here this morning wondering why the world is looking as badly as it does, when there are people like the those in my life. The news gives us ALL the bad and very little of the good. It's time for us to change that. We pay for them to be on the air therefore, we should call them every single time something great is going on in our communities. Children need to see themselves in a positive light. Given the state of our country and how angry people are with government, let's give them a glimmer of hope and a moment of joy. Nothing makes people smile more than seeing children going well.
Being completely honest, I love living in small town America. The "downtown" area is so small you don't even realize you drove through it. Yet, I live so close to Charlotte - you see the skyline - but I have zero desire to live there as beautiful as it is.
I treated myself to breakfast yesterday and I found out that the real southern hospitality is only found in the establishments that have been around forever. They still call you Sir and you can't help but say "yes mam, yes sir; no mam, no sir" and they say it in return. The mutual respect is there and it's not hiding itself. The northern influence is coming to the south and it's destroying the charm of the south. Being one of those from the north, I am grateful for the southern influence. It's a reminder of simpler times. Most people here are still in the hurry up and slow down mode. I hate to say it, but I am that way now and it only took 2 years to get there. Things will get done when they get done. Relax, take a deep breathe and enjoy the fresh air - it will be o.k. at the end of the day. And, if it's not o.k. - get a cup of coffee, enjoy the crisp October air and take another breathe.
I have a scout friend named Adam and I love the way he interacts with the scouts. It's obvious that he loves being a big scout himself. He looks like nothing bothers him and he loves life. Him being a DJ gives him the advantage of having a great personality. You just want to be around him and when he speaks, you can hear the happiness in his voice. Stress is not part of his vocabulary. I am grateful for people like Adam because they teach you to let the little things blow away in the wind.
This might sound strange to some but, I have a little puppet friend names Sunny. Just thinking about her makes me smile. I used to teach 6-8 year olds up in Connecticut with a great friend (Tani). She has a puppet named Sunny. Sunny and I would teach the class together and she became a member of the class. She would sit on the edge of the puppet stage and speak to the class. She had the best facial expressions and her heart for the Lord and the kids could not be compared. Tani made Sunny come to life and the kids would come to a roar whenever Sunny was in class. Yeah, they knew she was a puppet, but it was all about how Tani used her to minister to the class that made me grateful for the opportunity to teach. To sound like Forrest Gump - "we went together like bread and jam"
I will make the most of this day that God has blessed me to wake up and see. I'll do my best to make it more enjoyable for someone else with something as simple as a smile. I am going to become a contagious Christian. While we were camping, we had church on Sunday. The minister gave out puzzle pieces to everyone as they entered the picturesque outdoor chapel that overlooked Badin Lake and the mountains as the sun rose and shone through the stained glass cross. He reminded us that we are pieces of the puzzle that make up the spiritual body. If one piece is missing, the puzzle is incomplete and so are our lives. The hand cannot tell the foot that I have no need of you, nor can the ear tell they eye - I don't need you. God knew what He was doing when He created each one of us. I am grateful for you, and I pray you are grateful for me. I love every single people God has allowed to be a part of my body - even those who have done me wrong. I am who I am because of the struggles and strengths.
Today is all about a feeling of gratitude - catch it!!!!!!
I am sitting here this morning wondering why the world is looking as badly as it does, when there are people like the those in my life. The news gives us ALL the bad and very little of the good. It's time for us to change that. We pay for them to be on the air therefore, we should call them every single time something great is going on in our communities. Children need to see themselves in a positive light. Given the state of our country and how angry people are with government, let's give them a glimmer of hope and a moment of joy. Nothing makes people smile more than seeing children going well.
Being completely honest, I love living in small town America. The "downtown" area is so small you don't even realize you drove through it. Yet, I live so close to Charlotte - you see the skyline - but I have zero desire to live there as beautiful as it is.
I treated myself to breakfast yesterday and I found out that the real southern hospitality is only found in the establishments that have been around forever. They still call you Sir and you can't help but say "yes mam, yes sir; no mam, no sir" and they say it in return. The mutual respect is there and it's not hiding itself. The northern influence is coming to the south and it's destroying the charm of the south. Being one of those from the north, I am grateful for the southern influence. It's a reminder of simpler times. Most people here are still in the hurry up and slow down mode. I hate to say it, but I am that way now and it only took 2 years to get there. Things will get done when they get done. Relax, take a deep breathe and enjoy the fresh air - it will be o.k. at the end of the day. And, if it's not o.k. - get a cup of coffee, enjoy the crisp October air and take another breathe.
I have a scout friend named Adam and I love the way he interacts with the scouts. It's obvious that he loves being a big scout himself. He looks like nothing bothers him and he loves life. Him being a DJ gives him the advantage of having a great personality. You just want to be around him and when he speaks, you can hear the happiness in his voice. Stress is not part of his vocabulary. I am grateful for people like Adam because they teach you to let the little things blow away in the wind.
This might sound strange to some but, I have a little puppet friend names Sunny. Just thinking about her makes me smile. I used to teach 6-8 year olds up in Connecticut with a great friend (Tani). She has a puppet named Sunny. Sunny and I would teach the class together and she became a member of the class. She would sit on the edge of the puppet stage and speak to the class. She had the best facial expressions and her heart for the Lord and the kids could not be compared. Tani made Sunny come to life and the kids would come to a roar whenever Sunny was in class. Yeah, they knew she was a puppet, but it was all about how Tani used her to minister to the class that made me grateful for the opportunity to teach. To sound like Forrest Gump - "we went together like bread and jam"
I will make the most of this day that God has blessed me to wake up and see. I'll do my best to make it more enjoyable for someone else with something as simple as a smile. I am going to become a contagious Christian. While we were camping, we had church on Sunday. The minister gave out puzzle pieces to everyone as they entered the picturesque outdoor chapel that overlooked Badin Lake and the mountains as the sun rose and shone through the stained glass cross. He reminded us that we are pieces of the puzzle that make up the spiritual body. If one piece is missing, the puzzle is incomplete and so are our lives. The hand cannot tell the foot that I have no need of you, nor can the ear tell they eye - I don't need you. God knew what He was doing when He created each one of us. I am grateful for you, and I pray you are grateful for me. I love every single people God has allowed to be a part of my body - even those who have done me wrong. I am who I am because of the struggles and strengths.
Today is all about a feeling of gratitude - catch it!!!!!!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Dog Tired
I hit the bed last night at about 8:30PM. Don't know what was on TV,don't really care. All I know is that I woke up and it was 5:45AM. Everything on me is sore. I feel like I just got back from the gym after being away for a few weeks. It's that soreness that lets you know that you've had a really good workout. Well I guess I did, the half mile walk to the campsite 4-5 times everyday and then getting lost trying to find the latrine vs the port-a-potty in the dark is more than enough to be sore today. My son fell asleep at about 7PM - he took a hot bath, got dressed for bed and when we looked in on him, he was spread out on top of his blankets, his build a bear monkeys and other things. Try moving a 134LB 8 year old - good luck. (Note to self - he needs a men's 9.5 boot before the next trip)
Now that my son is on the bus heading off to school, I can finish washing the clothes we took and get the smoke smell out, repack the containers with all of our gear, set-up and clean up our tent and let the sleeping bags air out, reapply the silicone sealer to the seams and then relabel everything.
I am REALLY looking forward to the next trip. I didn't realize how much I missed going camping until this past weekend. I know my wife and the girls are not coming - they already told me that if they couldn't make reservations they would just stay home. But, my son and I are back out there in Dec to rough it again.
Today, it looks like a day to sleep. No one in the next room snoring, no one unable to sleep because it's their first time camping, and cute little baby crying - just me, my warm bed in a quiet house. I will put that C-Pap mask on and knock out. I will not have a problem going back to sleep - count on that!!!
I know - you're thinking "what about dinner tonight?" Well, finally found some pizza that is as close to Famous Pizza as we could. The pie was so big, the sides had to be bent to fit in the box,nice crispy crust and no reflux. That is dinner tonight - I will do something for them tomorrow night.
The dog is in his crate snoring - I am going to my room and do the same - Dog Tired!!!!
Now that my son is on the bus heading off to school, I can finish washing the clothes we took and get the smoke smell out, repack the containers with all of our gear, set-up and clean up our tent and let the sleeping bags air out, reapply the silicone sealer to the seams and then relabel everything.
I am REALLY looking forward to the next trip. I didn't realize how much I missed going camping until this past weekend. I know my wife and the girls are not coming - they already told me that if they couldn't make reservations they would just stay home. But, my son and I are back out there in Dec to rough it again.
Today, it looks like a day to sleep. No one in the next room snoring, no one unable to sleep because it's their first time camping, and cute little baby crying - just me, my warm bed in a quiet house. I will put that C-Pap mask on and knock out. I will not have a problem going back to sleep - count on that!!!
I know - you're thinking "what about dinner tonight?" Well, finally found some pizza that is as close to Famous Pizza as we could. The pie was so big, the sides had to be bent to fit in the box,nice crispy crust and no reflux. That is dinner tonight - I will do something for them tomorrow night.
The dog is in his crate snoring - I am going to my room and do the same - Dog Tired!!!!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Had A BLAST
This weekend was my first activity as Cub Master - WE WENT CAMPING, 72 people. It was a bit overwhelming at first, and then it happened. All of the veteran scout parents jumped right in and started putting up the canopy, positioning the trailer, pulling out the chuck boxes and laughing it up.
There were more new scouts and parents at this event than there were vets. All of the new parents jumped right in and got themselves acclimated to how things run. I was a proud Cub Master. After we got back to the hut, they were still saying what a great time they had.
One of our dens put it together and once we got to the campgrounds - Elis took control and got it running like a fine tuned machine. Of course it got cold at night, but once I put on the sweatpants, got in the sleeping bag - it got warm very quickly. Forget a good nights sleep. My son slept like a rock. In the tent next me was a new dad and his kids. The son was a little uncomfortable sleeping outside for the first time. But dad calmed him down and everything went fine the rest of the night. In another tent there was a cute little two year old that reminded me of Boo from Monsters Inc. that cried all night long. I later found out they didn't bring an air mattress for her - they used pads and sleeping bags - not a good mix. One of my boys went on his own for the first time and he amazed even me. I never had to look for him. I never had to tell him to go and take a shower. I didn't have to tell him to go to bed. He put up his own tent, found his own spot and shared with another boy. His mom was so worried and when I told her how well he did, she was so relieved.
These boys had a great weekend. Who wouldn't with 69 other packs with carnival style games going and getting candy at every single one of the game? They shot BB Guns and did Archery, rowed canoes and hunted for gold, spoke on ham radios to kids in 25 other countries, took a hayride and much more.
The best times were around the fire at night. Getting to know the parents better, listening to the boys joke around, and them getting to know more about me. I learned more about myself this weekend than I've ever learned before. I now know that I have what it takes to stand in the gap when things seem to falling apart all around me. I learned to listen to the story of fellow parents because we actually have more in common than I originally thought. I learned that we have some very respectful and well mannered boys. I learned that everyone really does not want to be the chief over everything, but they are willing to share the wealth because they understand that one day, their son is moving in the boy scouts and someone needs to know the job they are currently doing. I learned that people just need to asked to help and then see the results of how great they are at the task you've asked them to take on. I've learned that nothing is so bad that you don't already know the answer to. The food was out of this world. Cooking at camp is some good eats. Peach Cobbler cooked in a dutch oven over an open fire - THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!
I sat outside on Saturday night all alone after everyone had gone to bed, looked up at the stars. When I found Orion, I looked at his belt and his sword and immediately thought about the full armor of God. When you wear truth - you never have to look back and try to remember what you said or where you came from. Scouting is a great experience. I through another log on the fire and thought about the days events - and I smiled as I remembered all of the little things. As for the sword on Orion's belt - to us it represents the Spirit. Like the Spirit - it slices through all kinds of problems, issues, temptations and every other hinderance that tries to interrupt your day.
My son was excited, enjoyed the day with his friends and rested with a smile on his face. All the way home, he and I talked about the best part of the trip. He really enjoyed the camp fire best while making s'mores. So, at the end of the day - would I do it again - in a New York minute. I am growing very attached to this pack and I just pray for guidance and direction from God, Chris and the leaders. Like I said - I had a blast.
There were more new scouts and parents at this event than there were vets. All of the new parents jumped right in and got themselves acclimated to how things run. I was a proud Cub Master. After we got back to the hut, they were still saying what a great time they had.
One of our dens put it together and once we got to the campgrounds - Elis took control and got it running like a fine tuned machine. Of course it got cold at night, but once I put on the sweatpants, got in the sleeping bag - it got warm very quickly. Forget a good nights sleep. My son slept like a rock. In the tent next me was a new dad and his kids. The son was a little uncomfortable sleeping outside for the first time. But dad calmed him down and everything went fine the rest of the night. In another tent there was a cute little two year old that reminded me of Boo from Monsters Inc. that cried all night long. I later found out they didn't bring an air mattress for her - they used pads and sleeping bags - not a good mix. One of my boys went on his own for the first time and he amazed even me. I never had to look for him. I never had to tell him to go and take a shower. I didn't have to tell him to go to bed. He put up his own tent, found his own spot and shared with another boy. His mom was so worried and when I told her how well he did, she was so relieved.
These boys had a great weekend. Who wouldn't with 69 other packs with carnival style games going and getting candy at every single one of the game? They shot BB Guns and did Archery, rowed canoes and hunted for gold, spoke on ham radios to kids in 25 other countries, took a hayride and much more.
The best times were around the fire at night. Getting to know the parents better, listening to the boys joke around, and them getting to know more about me. I learned more about myself this weekend than I've ever learned before. I now know that I have what it takes to stand in the gap when things seem to falling apart all around me. I learned to listen to the story of fellow parents because we actually have more in common than I originally thought. I learned that we have some very respectful and well mannered boys. I learned that everyone really does not want to be the chief over everything, but they are willing to share the wealth because they understand that one day, their son is moving in the boy scouts and someone needs to know the job they are currently doing. I learned that people just need to asked to help and then see the results of how great they are at the task you've asked them to take on. I've learned that nothing is so bad that you don't already know the answer to. The food was out of this world. Cooking at camp is some good eats. Peach Cobbler cooked in a dutch oven over an open fire - THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!
I sat outside on Saturday night all alone after everyone had gone to bed, looked up at the stars. When I found Orion, I looked at his belt and his sword and immediately thought about the full armor of God. When you wear truth - you never have to look back and try to remember what you said or where you came from. Scouting is a great experience. I through another log on the fire and thought about the days events - and I smiled as I remembered all of the little things. As for the sword on Orion's belt - to us it represents the Spirit. Like the Spirit - it slices through all kinds of problems, issues, temptations and every other hinderance that tries to interrupt your day.
My son was excited, enjoyed the day with his friends and rested with a smile on his face. All the way home, he and I talked about the best part of the trip. He really enjoyed the camp fire best while making s'mores. So, at the end of the day - would I do it again - in a New York minute. I am growing very attached to this pack and I just pray for guidance and direction from God, Chris and the leaders. Like I said - I had a blast.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
New Day, New Attitude
Today has got to be better than yesterday. So far, so good. All I am thinking about is going camping this weekend. As the days pass, I get more excited about spending some time outside, under the stars, in a tent with my son and 30 other scouts and their families. This might sound strange, but camping is one of the most relaxing times a person could have.
I can hear some of my friends right now "you know black people don't sleep on the ground on purpose" They would be joking of course, but this is one of life's simple pleasures that I enjoy. The smell of burning wood, scorched marshmallows, coffee made in a real percolator on open fire, kids running in the woods in the dark with flashlights and lanterns, sitting and sharing time with other dads and moms. I feel like Mater from the movie Cars - " I am happier than a tornado in a trailer park"
So for dinner tonight, we are having creamy mustard pork chops. Got the recipe from the Campbell's Kitchen web site. It looked good, so I am giving it a try. Have to watch the cholesterol and sodium intake. This looks like a tasty option and it looks like something my kids will enjoy. They served it with egg noodles and glazed carrots. My kids won't eat either one. So, I will have to do string beans and a whole wheat pasta so the sauce gets on the pasta.
I am wrapping my mind around getting on the bus with my son's class tomorrow to go to the corn maze. Can't wait to go on this trip. Think about it - 25 screaming and yelling kids on the bus, lunch bags and helping the kids open containers that their parents sent with them, that are childproof, juice spilling all over the place. These are the kinds of days that my doctor tells me that I need to have a glass of wine. He calls them highly stressful - I call it fun. That is when I am most in my element. Put me with kids and youth - and it's as close to heaven as I can get. Their honesty and their so open that they don't care what they say.
Trust me, I am enjoying the cub master role. It takes some getting used to, but there is a great team of volunteers along side me that make this one of the easiest jobs. My wife loves when I put that uniform on - she calls me Skippy when I have it on. I love that woman. She is the best thing that has happened to me and I look back over the years and think about how much we have grown together, and the times she needed me and I fell short. I have a greater understanding of her needs as a wife, friend, mother and yes as a lover, that I didn't have before.
Back to the new attitude. I think Pastor Livingston put it best "you have to go through the fire to get the blessing" It's a new season, it's a new day. I am more than a conqueror and God has my back. Look at King Jehosephat - he was surrounded by three armies and was about to be annihilated and God told him to have the singers and the praisers go before the army. Before the King knew what was going on, the three armies killed each other. God will use your enemy, your test, the trial, the lack - to show Himself strong and mighty. Therefore, neither depth, nor height, nor anything else in all creation, shall be able to separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. It might discourage me for a minute - but it will NEVER separate me from His love. Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.
I can hear some of my friends right now "you know black people don't sleep on the ground on purpose" They would be joking of course, but this is one of life's simple pleasures that I enjoy. The smell of burning wood, scorched marshmallows, coffee made in a real percolator on open fire, kids running in the woods in the dark with flashlights and lanterns, sitting and sharing time with other dads and moms. I feel like Mater from the movie Cars - " I am happier than a tornado in a trailer park"
So for dinner tonight, we are having creamy mustard pork chops. Got the recipe from the Campbell's Kitchen web site. It looked good, so I am giving it a try. Have to watch the cholesterol and sodium intake. This looks like a tasty option and it looks like something my kids will enjoy. They served it with egg noodles and glazed carrots. My kids won't eat either one. So, I will have to do string beans and a whole wheat pasta so the sauce gets on the pasta.
I am wrapping my mind around getting on the bus with my son's class tomorrow to go to the corn maze. Can't wait to go on this trip. Think about it - 25 screaming and yelling kids on the bus, lunch bags and helping the kids open containers that their parents sent with them, that are childproof, juice spilling all over the place. These are the kinds of days that my doctor tells me that I need to have a glass of wine. He calls them highly stressful - I call it fun. That is when I am most in my element. Put me with kids and youth - and it's as close to heaven as I can get. Their honesty and their so open that they don't care what they say.
Trust me, I am enjoying the cub master role. It takes some getting used to, but there is a great team of volunteers along side me that make this one of the easiest jobs. My wife loves when I put that uniform on - she calls me Skippy when I have it on. I love that woman. She is the best thing that has happened to me and I look back over the years and think about how much we have grown together, and the times she needed me and I fell short. I have a greater understanding of her needs as a wife, friend, mother and yes as a lover, that I didn't have before.
Back to the new attitude. I think Pastor Livingston put it best "you have to go through the fire to get the blessing" It's a new season, it's a new day. I am more than a conqueror and God has my back. Look at King Jehosephat - he was surrounded by three armies and was about to be annihilated and God told him to have the singers and the praisers go before the army. Before the King knew what was going on, the three armies killed each other. God will use your enemy, your test, the trial, the lack - to show Himself strong and mighty. Therefore, neither depth, nor height, nor anything else in all creation, shall be able to separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. It might discourage me for a minute - but it will NEVER separate me from His love. Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.
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