It was refreshing to hear the man's side of things. No, I am not defending the man is a jerk and doesn't care how many children he fathers. What I am saying is, I have a new found respect for the man who wants to do what's right without being forced by the court to take care of his responsibility. She didn't have the child alone, therefore - do your best to do your part.
While I as listening, one of the callers made a point of talking about the "angry mother syndrome" She is upset because he didn't want to marry her and it appears she used the kids against him, and had nothing good to say about him to the child. The Word of God tells us that it would be better that we marry than burn with lust. What happens when you are aren't saved and your flesh burns with lust and desire for the other person? You have children that were not planned. One of my favorite shows is Everybody Loves Raymond - talk about disfunction personified. This family is as jacked up as it gets. In one episode when Marie thinks that Robert's girlfriend is a "good girl" at 31 years old - the truth comes out about her.
Frank let's it out that they didn't have plans to get married, they had to get married because Marie was pregnant. Later, they lie to Robert about when his birthdate was and the lies continued to build from there. So, does God hold us accountable for the things we didn't know before we got saved? Does he expect us to go back and make things right with that woman? What is He looking for from me now? How do I restore a relationship with the kid(s) that I don't know?
There are more than enough questions to answer on this subject. Dads, go and make things right with your kids. Being one of those kids, I can tell you it's never too late to get back some of what you lost. You don't want your children to grow up, have families and you never know your grandchildren. From the child's point of view - what hurts most is knowing that your dad lives less than 30 miles away and they never make the effort to spend time with you - if the mother allows him too.
You see, I don't think there is any excuse for not spending time with your kids. The laws are now in place to protect the dads who want to be with their kids. The courts will give you the time IF you have the desire to the father the kid deserves. At some point, dad and mom need to find common ground and form a respectful relationship for the sake of the kids. Remember, you got to the point of not controlling your flesh and they were born as a result.
I believe I especially enjoyed hearing why they didn't get married to these women. One caller was very blunt when he told her that he didn't want to marry her. One of my associates said, he only wanted to have sex. Another said that she said she wanted to have his kid. Now, this speaks to several things. If you play with fire, expect to get burned. Are we not teaching our children that their bodies are a gift to be saved until marriage? Are we validating them so that they don't run into the arms of someone who is telling them what they want to hear? I found it compelling that a girl would tell a young man that I want to have your baby and he being stupid enough to do it. There are lifelong implications that go along with having a child. Babies are not little dolls that you can put on a shelf and leave there until you are ready to play with it again.
My turn. I could have just as easily been in the same position. Before I got saved - FOR REAL, and not play with God, I had a close call with a young lady. I knew that I should have taken responsibility for my actions. I was taught before going to college that I needed to use condoms if I was going to engage in sex. My uncles taught me not to fall into the trap of becoming a teenage father. The biggest lie ever told to young men is - "it doesn't feel the same if you wear one" First of all, I had no business having sex when my mind should have been focused on my education. What if I had a kid at a young age? Did I care enough about her to want to marry her? Did I even have an idea of what being in love was? Yes, it was just my flesh wanting to be fulfilled. It wasn't until the night I tried to kill myself that I gave my entire heart to God, asked for forgiveness for my mistakes and sins, that my flesh fell in line with His Word.
If the truth be told, I had no plans to EVER marry that young woman. That scare was one of the worst experiences of my life. She proved herself to me though, she would sleep with any guy that smiled at her - I should have seen the clues.
Once, I came home and gave my heart to God - my flesh fell in line. It was a sermon - Gone Too Far, Stayed Too Long. The pastor preached it and it spoke directly to me.
Romeo, Romeo where for art thou? Romeo is at home wondering how to make things right. Romeo is praying to God to get his heart right. Romeo wants to let her know that he should have done his part to protect both of them. Romeo is now a saved young man and he is going to give that child the father is a stand up guy. He is not going to allow an angry mother to place a wedge between him and the kid. He wants the kid to know that he/she is loved. He is going to support the kid and ask the court to enforce his rights to visit with and have overnighters with his kid. He is going to seek the Lord for direction. And, if he is a teen father - he will ask his family to teach him how to take care of his kid.
So, good for you my friend. You have a great talk show. Keep touching those areas that the four walled churches are not speaking about. Your show reminds me of Isaiah 6:6-8 when the angel took the tongs from the fire and touched his lips to cleanse him. Your topics are timely and your show structure is perfect. Check her out on Wednesday's at 1PM by clicking on the following link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/
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