Do you ever reach a point of just wanting to give up? People tell you over and over again "your blessing is just around the corner" Being a Christian for over 20 years has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I wouldn't give up on Jesus for anything in this world. I am blessed every single day of my life. Just waking up is worth my time in prayer. Having a loving wife and kids who love me - puts a smile on my face.
Every day for the past 2.5 years, I have done nothing but try to find a job, try to work things out with prayer, try to get help for my family, try to talk things out with other people, try to be the best scout I can be, try to lead my youth class with integrity and character. You get the picture, I try over and over again.
So, do I give up? Of course not. Do I believe the blessing is just around the corner? Yes. It just seems like it's a long walk to the corner, and when you turn that one, the next corner seems far off. Don't get me wrong, I am not discouraged - I am being real with myself.
Life isn't always going to go the way I want it to go. Sometimes it's just good to see results once in a while. God is still performing miracles and wonders. I could use a miracle right about now. My friend Adam keeps reminding me to just "do your best" You know what? He's right!!!! All I can do is my best. But when that phone rings and I have to explain again that I do not have a job to pay that bill - all I can do is try my best. If the money isn't there, it just isn't there. You can't get blood from a rock, and you can't make money appear in the bank.
Right now, my doctors and I are in the midst of some very tough decisions that will have lasting repercussions on my family life. I don't know if the quality of my life is going to change, if we will have to make further sacrifices, or if I need to make more lifestyle changes.
No matter what, I have to try and try again until the change come.
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