Do Miracles Still Happen?

I asked myself that question recently.  I was lying in bed last week and found myself wide awake at 2:45AM, staring at my wife.  I began to ponder miracles and if they still happen.  Not if God is able to perform miracles, or my trust in Him.

I just wanted to know if anyone has seen a miracle manifest itself, and why we don't hear about them anymore.  To know me now and my present state of mind would make you best think that I am about to fall off the deep end.  With all that my family has endured over this past year, you might even think that I am entitled to "break down" once in a while.  Heck, I've thought about a cry session myself.  But what will it get me in the end?  Just a set of red puffy eyes and a raw nose!!!!

So again, do miracles still happen?  Let me be VERRRRRRY transparent with you.  I recently got my paycheck and it came to a grand total of $193.32.  Yes, you read that correctly.  That is after working 72 hours ov still have a job that I absolutely love.  I get to go to work and bless those who are at the end of their lives transition to eternal life with the Lord and bless their families as they grieve.

I haven't been able to pay my bills and my mortgage is behind.  Where's the miracle in that?  God said that HE would never see the righteous forsaken, nor His seed begging for bread.  I'll call the mortgage company and work things out.  The Word of God tells us that we have not because we ask not.  Nothing beats a failure but a try.

I have heard time and time again, "if you need anything, just let me know"  The problem is, when I do, the person can't.  Then they tell me that they will pray for us.  So I ask them, like Jesus did, "when did I see you hungry and not feed you? Naked and not clothe you?"  Not being "super religious"  Just keeping things in perspective.  I live on earth, not is heaven.  Yet, I deal with some people who are so heavenly high, they are no earthly good.  Thank God, He leads me to people who are better than that.  That's the miracle.

I could easily sit on the deck with a bottle of bourbon and drink my cares away.  The problem with that is, those same problems will be there in the morning.  My son deserves to see me as the best example of a man that he will ever have. I could blame my father for my issues, but I am a grown man now.  He still angers me, but that's a story for another day.  That's a miracle I would love to see - my father offer a sincere apology.

I know this is going to come across as selfish.  Just know my heart and that I have moments of the green eyed monster called jealousy.  Why can't someone show up at my door with a cardboard check so that I can pay these mounting medical bills and mortgage.  Why can't I get home makeover from Ellen or Oprah so that I can move my master bedroom to the first floor so that my wife doesn't have to climb all of these stairs?  When is the limo going to show up and take my family to the surprise awaiting around the corner?  How can I afford to go back to nursing school full time, pay my bills, have benefits, so that I can make things happen for myself.  It's called sacrifices that can't be realized right now.  Short of hitting the powerball, it's not going to happen.

I don't want a pity party - I can do that myself.  I want a break from the pressure.  I want to see my wife and children's basic needs met without the worry of something about to be shut off.  I ask myself if I'm faithful enough, do I give enough, what am I doing wrong, why is this happening and then I turn and look at my wife.

She never asks why.  My trust is not broken in Him - I fall short and fail every single day.  My children love me, my wife adores me, and I have great friends.  Is it enough?  Where is the miracle that I so desperately am desiring?  Do miracles still happen?  Yes they do.

I see it in the eyes of a smiling baby.  I hear it in the voice of my wife when she is speaking to someone.  I feel it in the form of pride when my children accomplish anything.  I shouldn't be looking for that cardboard check to makeover my house.  I shouldn't expect the phone to ring from Ellen or Oprah.  I shouldn't expect to see that limo coming around the corner.  All I need to do is, accept the life that I have, trust God, and love my family.

So now I will get off of my soapbox and come back to reality.  My miracle tomorrow is this:  I get to wake up, shake myself and let my heart feel the miracles of love.