Visiting "the man"

Visiting the doctor is always an adventure when I go.  They never seem to know exactly what is going on, how to fix it, or what the cause of your symptoms really are.  Today, Mr. Happy Glove and I bonded as I assumed the position and got examined.  The doctor was taken back when I said that I felt like he owed me dinner and a movie for touching me in such a personal way.  We both got a good laugh and then he sent me down the hall to get some blood work done.

I never know what to think whenever I go see him.  Is he going to give me some bad news, did he find anything out of the ordinary today, are there any "real" concerns.  He pointed out a lump on my back and the first thing that went through my head was ' it's some form of cancer.  When you've had uncles that started out with a small lump that later because a cancerous tumor - you start to think that way.  Thank God for me, it was nothing.  He told me that sometimes your skins natural oils pool under then skin and causes these types of lumps.  Just use some hot compresses and let it come to a head - the rest will take care of itself.

I wonder why we as men are so afraid to go to the doctor for a regular check up.  I have no issues at all with going to see them.  If something is wrong, I would rather know now instead of when I am lying on some hospital bed hooked up to a machine and tubes going everywhere.  Knowing my personal health history and keeping records will only help my children in the future.  Too many kids have no idea of their parents physical conditions and then when the brick hits the wall, the poor kid is left not knowing what to tell the doctors.

Anyway, my visit to "the man" went pretty good.  He of course reminded me that I still need to drop 25-30 pounds.  He also told me that the insulin I am on causes you to gain weight - so talk about a catch 22.  I am maintaining my 204 pounds and the gut is now hanging over the belt.    I refuse to tuck in that shirt and show off my every rounding physique.  Like most men, I long for the day when I will be able to wear pants that work with my waistline and not against it.  Don't you get tired of your pockets looking like they are clapping vs laying flat against your butt like normal people.  I know we can't all look like Tyson Beckford or Gilles Marini.  It would just be nice to have a moment to look like we are somewhat decent shape.

Well, I have to go and take that 30-40 walk the doctor ordered, suck down some yogurt and fruit before the kids get home.  And the dinner plans have changed.  I am going to make teriyaki chicken with broccoli and brown rice.

I really don't want to see "the man" anymore this year and have to explain why I haven't lost one ounce.