Go To Church Man

I've often wondered why more men don't go to church, especially in the Black Church.  I was listening to the radio the other day and the host was asking the question "is the Black church dying?"  First, let me say this and I know it's going to raise some eyebrows, but here it goes.  There is ONLY God's church!!!!

I know what the host meant - the predominantly black church.  I was once a part of the "black church"  Bad teaching had me believing that between the hours of 11AM - 1PM on any given Sunday, was segregation time in the church.  Growing up,all I would hear at church was how to get them before they get us, God's Word was prostituted, twisted and taken out of context to drive the point home.  You will never be treated as an equal.  Give me a break!!!! 

Don't get me wrong.  Some of my best experiences and memories are a direct result of the Black church experience.  You can't beat the music and the sermons (when they are of God)  From my own personal experience you also can't beat the way you get abused when you are in leadership positions.  I have been beaten financially, spiritually, and emotionally in the church - both black and white.  I served for over 20 years in church and have never been paid for the full time work I was doing.  Nor was I reimbursed to the money out of pocket for supplies - "you just sowed into the kingdom and your pay day is coming after while"

I read a book entitled "War In The Pews" when I was going through the process of leaving one church.  I wasn't allowed to pray, read the scripture, or teach a Sunday School class because I couldn't afford the 15 offerings listed on the envelope.  One night at a men's bible study, the pastor said - I am sitting at the this table with Judas and directed the comment at me.  You see, the power had gotten to his head and some 300+ people walked out on him just prior to that meeting.  Knowing that I was friend with the majority of them, he assumed I would turn on him.  I didn't leave that church for another 3 years, even under what appeared to be the persecution of pharaoh. But, when God said it was time to go - I hit the ground running.

After having gone through more than enough, I went to church whenever I felt like it.  Why be there?  Here I was, a young minister unable to walk in my calling.  So, I went and preached at other churches that asked me to speak, and I made sure my pastor knew.  He would tell me I was not allowed to go unless he spoke to the host pastor about me first.  I was not allowed to perform a wedding, serve communion, or visit the sick.  He even took away an outreach that I started with my Sis. who was a minister there also.  Said it was getting too big.  Why was he worried about it, the money didn't come from church fund?  We fed those kids, purchased our supplies and reached out the parents on our own.  God chose us to serve in the middle of the projects and we were well received and respected.

After a few months of sporadic attendance, I was called in to meet with the "board."  How do I put this?  It was like going to the Spanish inquisition.  They sat me at one end of the table and he said, " Reverend, we brought you here to tell you everything we see about you, and that we don't like it.  You can speak when we are done, and if you leave this church - I promise you will not preach in this state ever again"

You see, he thought he had me over a barrel because I was the state youth pastor for some 80+ churches, I was the 2nd VP for the State Congress of Christian Education, and some other positions.  Thank God I am not egotistical and that titles do not matter me.  It's about my walk with Jesus and my wanting to please Him first.  Favor with man is a result of finding favor with the Lord.  I still preached in the state.

One by one, they sat there and told me everything they didn't like about with the exception of one person - my big sister in the Lord.  She was the only one of 13 people who stood up for what was right.  She saw what was really going on behind the scenes, and she told them that God was not pleased.  At the end of that meeting - I looked him in the eye, and said good-bye as I shook his hand.  He said "see you on Sunday"  I was done and refused to go back in that building for over 5 years.

To this day, I still don't know how I drove 23 miles home.  The drive is still a blur to me.  My eyes were swollen from the tears, frustration and the anger.  How could a church treat anybody this way?

I eventually wrote him a letter of resignation informing him that God has set me free and that I would not soon return to Egypt. I never gave up on God or the "church" because God never gave up on me.  So today, I find myself in North Carolina at one of the greatest churches in the land.

Before we moved here, I asked the Lord to show us the place where He wanted us to be when we got here.  We checked out a few churches, but all I saw was what I left in CT.

(If this is your church - I do not apologize.)  Before we even get into the parking lot of one church - we could feel the music in our car. The bass was so strong that it penetrated the walls of the building.  Once inside, the unfriendly usher pushes us to the fourth row where my son begins to cry because the music is ear piercing.  You could reach out and touch the praise and worship team, but couldn't hear a single word of what they were singing because of the volume of the instruments.  When the children were dismissed to go to class - the usher asked me where I was going (at that time my son who was 7 years old) and the he could take himself to class.  Quick, fast and in a hurry, I let her know that I was taking him because I want to know where he was, who the teacher is, and what the check-in policy was.  They didn't have a check in policy.  By the time the service was over - I had a headache.

This same place was having a building fund campaign at the time I was there. Someone stood up and said to check the website for creative ways to give.  I was in shock when I saw the following:  sell your house, come out of retirement, sell your jewelry, get a second job, take out a loan, sell your car, and it just got worse.  I knew that was not the place for us.

After being discouraged, we were driving down the street one day from the apartment we were renting, and saw a road sign that had a church name on it.  We decided that we would visit there since we were not happy driving out to Weddington once I realized the sermons were actually a book that I just read.  Listen, everyone who thinks they are called, are not chosen for the task.  Many are called - FEW are chosen. This church was all about the technology they had.  The walls were painted black and the screen was as tall and wide as the building.  It was like going to an IMAX theater.  When service was over, the side doors opened and you were in the direct sunlight waiting for your eyes to adjust.  I don't think God cares about a show and reciting a book.  He wants your heart and the sermon to come from Him.  The one great thing they had was the children and youth ministry - awesome.

Laying in bed one Sunday morning, feeling empty and depleted, the Lord woke me up and said "Go to church, I have something to say to you"  So I woke up the family, we got dressed and off we went.  While I am getting dressed, I am asking God where we are going today.  We start out on the road and He says turn now.  It was that little road sign we saw a few weeks ago.  We go in and sit down and the pastor appears on the screen.  The first words out of his mouth are "someone has gone through hell this week"  It was October of 2008.  Our family has just finished completing the "Facing Your Giants" bible study.  We moved from CT with 7 days with of clothes, a folding table with 6 folding chairs, air mattresses and blankets.  We needed to hear from God in a big way.

Before I knew it, the tears were flowing down my face.  To make a long story short, we have been there ever since.  I love the way our pastor keeps it simple, cuts to the heart of the matter, doesn't short change God, doesn't twist the scriptures, calls out issues for what they are, encourages a person to live right, challenges your walk upright with God and man, has a heart for the people, visits the youth in their building, visits the off-site location, shows you he is still a man - but striving to please the Lord, the music is outstanding, my wife and kids are the happiest we have ever been in a church. I could go all day about Central.  The great thing is this, the rest of the staff is the same way.

I keep getting the question - have you told them you are a minister?  Yes, I have told a few people.  Do I want to ever be in a leadership position again? - only if God orchestrates it to happen.  I have done enough church "man's way" it's time to let God do things His Way!!!

All to Jesus, I surrender.