I am in the process of reading the book "Resolution." It follows the movie Courageous. I am at a point in the book where the author is defining what a man is, and when did you know you were a man. He asks some questions, such as: was it the first time you had sex, was it when your dad told you that you were, was it the you were able to vote for the first time, was it when you got your first job.
He(the author) pointed to several scriptures that showed that you became a man at 20 years old according to how the Lord spoke. He gave the following definition of a man. A man is an adult male who accepts his masculinity, speaks and acts with maturity, embraces responsibility, functions independently, can lead a family faithfully, and recognizes his accountability as an image bearer of God.
He pointed out that the reason we have so many boys in men's bodies is because we have stopped teaching them how to be men while they were young. We have made their years of middle/high school more focused on the things of life that don't really matter. Our government says they are adults between 18-21, yet we do not prepare them to step out on their own and support themselves. We don't teach them fiscal responsibility, how to manage a household, we don't model the role of a husband and father, and then get frustrated when they continually fail in life situations.
When I read those seven attributes that he pointed out, I did an inward inventory of myself. My first thought was never - who do I know that is lacking any of them, rather it became - what am I missing? Where do I fall short and where do I think too highly of myself.
The goal here if for me to get on a level playing/praying ground and unconditionally commit to being all that the Lord wants me to be as a man, husband and father. I have a friend - let's call him Adam. Adam is a man of great character, morally strong, he is loads of fun to be around, his wife and kids love him - not your average guy. He loves his family so much that he dropped so much weight, I almost walked by him one day. He is liked in the community, well connected, a man's man.
Whenever I see Adam (and it's not too often) I say to myself - there goes a man that has it all together. I don't know the minor details of home life, and I don't need to. I just know from his walk, that he takes things seriously when needed, can have a laugh anytime, and loves life. I see these attributes in him that the author speaks about. Adam is the same all of the time - unmoved in his faith. Yes, he goes through some things, but for the most part - he is rooted and grounded.
Several of my male friends (and I have few) can hold me accountable. I only allow a handful of men to speak into my life and tell me exactly where I fall short. Why, because I know they really have my best interest at heart. I know that they are men who walk in confidence in the Lord. They aren't expecting anything from me in return. They aren't selfish with their advise, correction, encouragement or brotherly love for me. Each one of them will give me what I need and not what I want. I have been blessed to have the men in my life that are there.
So, it's time for men to step up. It's time for me to step up. When I am tired after a 12 hour shift in nursing and my son wants to play catch with the football - step up, he is only young once. Time to be the role model our sons need. Time to model a good husband so our daughters are found by a great husband. Time to step up and give the family what it needs. Time to step up and be the spiritual leader that your household needs. Time to step up and pray for them and with them. We need to take the time to plan a regular date night with the wife and a separate one for our daughters. Reaffirm and validate our daughters everyday. Teach your son how to be a man and stop telling him real men don't cry.
When life gets hard, you better cry out to God and surrender your heart. Come on fathers and husbands. Come on single men in relationships. Come on men who have left your children. Come on men who still have boys stuck in their body allowing video games, cars and "things" take precedence in your life. Don't just stand up, STEP UP!!!! And when you do, God can begin something great in you.
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