Surgery Day

Here I sit in the surgery waiting room.  You can feel the tension in the air as everyone in here is waiting for any kind of status update.  The receptionist  calls people up to the desk one by one informing each person that their family member has been taken into surgery and how it's proceeding.

Me, I continue to wait.  Every time I hear the overhead system ramp up, a new knot forms in my stomach.  I don't know what else to do besides blog.  I've called my kids and told them that I love them and that their mom loves them.

For some people here, it's life as usual.  Some people are talking about an affair within the family.  Some are conversing about how things went bad fast with their loved one's health.  Others are just trying to get a little bit of sleep.  Through all of it, there is still that underlying sense of fear.  The little old lady sitting across from me sits and shakes her foot as her pastor reads to her.  She is worried that her husband of 55 years won't make it through this one.  Her pastor continues to read words of comfort from the scriptures.

I go back to visit my bride before they roll her into surgery.  The smile on her face is priceless.  We hug each other and cry a little, say how much we love each other a little more, and do it all over again.  I can't help it that my heart is heavy, very heavy for her.  They miss three times trying to put in an IV and she is not happy. her hands shake uncontrollably, her speech very slurred, and her eyes well up with tears again.

The OR nurse tells me that they've allotted 4 hours and 45 minutes for the surgery.  I thought it was only going to be 2 hours.  That news makes both of us nervous.  She is strong, much stronger than I could I be in the same situation.  My pastor was right - woman are stronger than men.  My wife has an inner strength that gives her a peace that passes all understanding.  While she has fears, she also has a great sense of peace, that the Lord will take care of her while she's having this procedure.

How I long to trade places with her.  Lord I lift her up to you.  Thee are some things that I can't do.  She has a void, that I can't fill, and she has some tears, I can't wipe away.  Please hear me when I pray, as I lift her up to you.

So I will sit her and people watch, pray for them as I pray for my wife.  I'll watch the news and prepare myself to see her after surgery.  Listen to others and see what they are talking about.  It's funny how our faith is tried at times.  I want to think about Thanksgiving dinner and what to make for her, but the mind wanders again.  Now that we've decorated the house for her, it's time to get other things going.  I need to prepare a room downstairs for her so that she doesn't have to go up 14 stairs.

Time to focus.  Time to get into a new way of passing time.  I need to call someone.  This receptionist is call names that start with the letter M and I am wondering why my name hasn't been called yet.  Good thoughts Tony - good thoughts.