True Intimacy

Well, tomorrow is the big day.  We head to the operating room from our house at 0430AM. 

So how are we feeling about all of this.  The truth of the matter is this, WE'RE both concerned, but trusting that God will have His way.  So, why should we worry or be afraid.  No matter the outcome - we still love Him.

Like Moses at the Red Sea, I can you feel you all holding our arms up so that we will not lose hope.  Our arms are up in surrender to Him.  We want Him to take over the operation tomorrow.  Please join us in prayer for the every single person that will touch her body, her chart, and those who speak over her.

I want to tell you what a man is supposed to do for his wife.  A man who stood before God, a minister, and a cloud of witnesses and made vows on the day you married her. You see, when things look bad and look they are about to fall apart - he stays around and doesn't run out.  Dogs run away, a real man has broad shoulders and can bear the weight of the day. When she is weak, he remains steadfast for her and holds her in the middle of the night and lets her tears run down his chest.  He doesn't push her away because she woke him up in the middle of the night 2-3 times.  He asks her "hey baby, are you all right, what can I do for you?"

When she needs to get to the bathroom, he doesn't turn tail and pretend he didn't help her.  If she was good enough to have your children, be man enough to help get clean herself.  Look her in the eye when she cries because she didn't want to be in her current position.  Assure her and reassure her that she is loved, safe and protected in your arms and they you will be gentle in washing her body.  LOVE IS NOT SELFISH, IT HAS NO PRIDE!!!! 

When she is too weak to feed herself, man up and pick up the utensil and feed her.  Give her your full attention.  Football can wait, the boys can wait, the phone can wait, the computer can wait.  It's like the song says, "when a man loves a woman, can't keep his mind on nothing else"  She becomes my main focus. 

Our pastor put it well today.  God first, family second, church third.  Like him, I don't care who doesn't like that.  I have attended churches where they wanted it to be first.  My first love is now, and will be the Lord with my family right beside Him.  A man that doesn't take care home first, is worst than a murderer.   He is not concerned about other areas of intimacy- that's being selfish.  She just wants you to love on her during the times of pain.  A simple holding of hands, resting her head on your chest or in your lap is more than enough.  She wants to know that you've got her back and will go the extra mile for her.

Yesterday, we were in walmart.  She had to ride one of those scooters because walking takes to much strength.  We're strolling through the store and there are two men conversing.  They look at us coming up the aisle, see her in the scooter, and the one with the cart proceeds to walk away from his cart, leaving it in the way.  Short fuse Tony in his short stature - grabs the cart and shoves it aside.  I don't care how big they were or if they didn't like it.  My woman needed to get by and in your ignorance you left that cart in the way. When it comes to her, I am David running toward Goliath.  You see, I will take a hit for her - she's mine!!!!

Constantly, she is telling me that I am a good father and husband.  She appreciates that I take the time when I come home from working 12 hours at either hospital, drop my things, and take care of her.  Right now, her brain injury has her talking like a 2-3 year old.  She has involuntary shaking of her hands, and she tends to drift off into another place.  23 years ago, I promised her that I would always be around and that she could depend on me to do whatever it took to keep our family intact - short of illegal activity.  I will go to the food pantry when it gets tight, I will go and apply for assistance if we need it.  I will call on people that love us to lend a helping hand.  I don't have time to allow my pride to get in the way of doing what's necessary to take care of the family God was gracious enough to give to me.

Intimacy is not just sexual.  It means so much more. Take some time to discover who she really is.  You will love her more and more.  I've done the Love Dare Challenge.  Let me tell you, I am not the man I thought I was until that time 2 years ago. I was doing everything I was supposed to do for her and by her.  I realized I was going through the motions without adding in the unconditional love, support, respect, and time that she needed.

Now that we are facing surgery again in the morning, I realize that Jesus was preparing me for a time such as this.  That in this new season of our lives, I need Him even more.  My heart belongs to the Lord.