Pondering

This is going to be a day of pondering.  Why - new day, new issues, joys, thoughts, etc.  Today I am going to go to this job agency and pray all the way there that, they have an interview for me.  Parking in Charlotte is like parking in mid-town Manhattan - EXPENSIVE.  The last time I went uptown and parked in the Bank of America lot - they charged me $12 for two hours, and I was interviewing for them.  So I sit and ponder right now.  How much am I going to miss being a stay at home dad?  Will the kids suffer from me not being home when they arrive? How do we manage dinner now?  What happens to my "Room Dad" status?  Will Cub Scouts pay the cost of me not being able to work on things during the day?

A lot of questions that are in need of answers.  What to do, what to do? 

I'll tell you what I am going to do.  I am going to go to this agency today and see what they have to say and what they have to offer.  I just pray they are not trying to send me all the way to Spartanburg, SC again.  Really, who commutes 100 miles each way to work?  I don't want to go from on extreme to another by seeing my family all do - to never seeing them at all.  It was a good company and the pay was excellent, but I just couldn't leave the house at 6AM and get back home after 8PM - IF traffic wasn't bad.  I am going to go upstairs, iron my shirt and get going.


We took our son and one of his friends to Carowinds(amusement park) yesterday.  What a great day out - it was 75+ degrees and light winds.  We chose the perfect time of day - right after church.  They do something there called Scarowinds - for halloween.  There is a kid-friendly version that we just walked past.  It's funny how two boys can act one way at home and a do a complete 180 in public.  His friend usually tries to get Michael to try new things, new games, etc when we are at home.  Take that same friend to the park and Michael is now the leader getting him to try new rides and take more risks.  They balanced each other and it was good to watch. 

I am so thankful for the friends that he has on the street we live on.  They are good boys and they genuinely like being with each other.  Now that it's getting a bit cooler, that means our house is about to be filled with the laughter of three boys, shoes piled up at the door, snacks flowing into the game room and the three of them deciding who is going to go first when they play Wii and Xbox.  What happens when I go to work - I miss out on all of that, that's what happens.  Strange, now that a remote chance of an interview is looming in the corner - I find myself questioning if I really want to go back to work.  Trust me, I want to go to work and I want to be able to be home when the kids get here.  In my field of accounting - the chances of that happening are slim to none.

I missed out on a lot when I worked full time for an international company.  The hours were long (8AM - 9/10PM) and it was expected that I would stay and get the job done.  I promised myself that I would never sacrifice my family like that again and I need to honor that promise.  I need to be honest going into the job with myself and the employer about my quality of life.  The last thing I want to do is have another stroke at work because of the stress.

There are people in my life who say one thing and do something else.  I am fine with that, just don't think that me and the rest of the world are idiots.  We are on to you and we know you well.  We know you well enough not to ask you to do too much, for favors, or expect too much from you.  I wonder and ponder why people treat each other that way.  They never see their own faults, but are quick to point out yours to you, and then have the nerve to demand that you change who you are to accommodate them.  My favorite is the person who gives parental advise, yet their own children act like the seed of Chucky, mixed with a little Dennis the Menace and topped off with a dollop of a UFC fighter. They think their child(ren) are just being kids - wrong.  It's called a lack of parental control.  Be careful - the news is full of children from "good homes, and we never saw it coming"  You saw it, you just chose to look the other way and blamed it on ADD ,ADHD, ODD and all of the other "diagnosis" the doctor tried to come up with.

It's not about a new found term for bad behavior, or a new pill to shove down a kid's throat, it's about giving the power back to the parents.  Like Madea said - "Cora threatened to call 911, I slapped her so hard, she dialed 919"  No I am not advocating abusing your child, I am saying that they need to learn that there are boundaries and not to cross them.   As hard as it is to raise little children, it's just as hard raising a young adult, teens, preteens and an adolescent.  They have to have the last word, want to talk back and disrespect you, and cut you off mid-sentence.  I had to tell one my girls "I am so sorry that the beginning of your sentence interrupted the middle of mine?  I have come to a place of ZERO tolerance.  It's corrected on the spot - you come at me wrong in public, it's corrected on the spot.  I have to keep the stress level down.  No more holding it in!!!!!!!!!!


I have a new kind of stress and I like it.  I stress over making sure homework gets done, what's for dinner and do I have the ingredients in the house, how do I get the kids in all places at the same time, how much laundry needs to be done, how can I make my wife happier, church, scouts, community?  It's the little things that I stress over and it keeps my blood pressure down to a comfortable level.

Pondering - just thinking about all that the day holds.  Thinking back over the events of the previous day while I smile about them.  I choose to focus on the good things, realizing that there were a few road bumps along the way.  The time spent between the bumps, are worth laughing and smiling about until I get that wonderful pain in my side that causes tears to run down my cheeks because I am so blessed.