He Can't Hear God

Recently, I listened to Derwin Gray in Fort Mill.  He is a good teacher/preacher in Fort Mill.  One of my friends told me to listen to his podcast because of the last post I did.  Now, if you know me and how much I love the Lord, you also know that I don't listen to everyone who is on TV.  The last thing I am going to do is send someone money for "miracle water" or an "anointed handkerchief" I am not into - "everyone is prosperous" when the Bible clearly states " the poor you will have with you always"  Derwin did not try to sell anything but, he did try to get you to listen to the voice of the Lord.

To make my point, let me get back to Derwin Gray.  He was talking about relationships and how they tend to bad.  Not because of how things were going between the man and the woman, but between the man and God.  I did like what he had to say about relationships - it was a good sermon.

I hear a lot of men say that they are not hearing anything from God today.  They can't seem to focus on the Word while they are reading.  They aren't being ministered to in the way that they should be.  They are so stressed out at home, work and  in the community, and there seems to be arrows coming at them from every side.  They don't know when or how it got "this bad" or "I didn't see it coming"

Digging deeper into their personal lives, there was a common thread that I just couldn't help but notice.  Every single one of these men have/had wives who were very strong willed, had larger than life personalities, had hurtful relationships in their pasts, and their wives had nothing good to say about them or to them.

While none of these "excuses" justifies the male lack of a relationship with God.  However, I do understand what they are saying.  Think about from our vantage point.  Why would I want to pray with a woman who called me less than a man?  Why would I pray for you when you tell me I am not a real man?  Why would I seek out the Lord on your behalf when you compare me to other men?  He can't hear the voice of the Lord, when all he hears is yours.

Men want to hear the main points, go and process it, work it out and move on.  If you want him to be the man of God that he was always destined to be, then you need to be quiet, pray for him that God will work out his issues, stop pointing the finger at him - he feels bad enough, learn how to encourage him even when things don't look that great.  It's no wonder he can't stay focused, he is too worried about what you are going to tell him he could be doing instead of reading the Bible.  He is stressing about about paying bills when he should be trusting God who promised that He would never see His righteous forsaken or His seed begging bread.  In the midst of the storm, the man can't hear God's still small voice because the voice of doubt, discouragement, emotional deterioration and verbal beat downs have taken him to a very low place.

If he is showing you he values you - why can't you do the same in return for him?  Why do you disrespect him in front of the kids?  Those same kids are going to think that's the way marriage is, and we will have divorced daughters and weak sons.  They model what they see.


To all of my brothers out there - regardless of what your skin looks like - we are all brothers trying to reach the same place - home with Jesus.  Make sure you are doing your part to be the prince, priest, provider, protector and prophet of your home.  I haven't worked a day in almost 3 years and yes, there are days when I feel like I don't provide for my family.  Providing goes above and beyond money.  You have to give your heart to your wife, children and your home.  If you be honest with yourself, you might have a hand in the issues and you might have to eat a little crow.  I am not telling you to be like one of my readers who does all of apologizing and has to say why he's sorry and she NEVER does the same for him.  I am saying love her more than you love yourself.  Hug her when she is not huggable to you at that moment.  Encourage her to dream and tell her that she can do whatever she sets her mind to do.  Bring/send her flowers just because.  Run that hot bath in anticipation that she might need a moment to relax and get away for that short moment.  In short, because the prince charming that she fell in love with.

Ladies, you know how to pick a fight with him.  You know all of the right buttons to push.  You even know how far to push him before he retaliates with hurtful words.  If you want you man to hear from God, you have to love him from a different direction.  Turn off that TV and stop comparing him to these fake, unrealistic ideas of what a man and a husband should look like, act like and be like.  Those shows are for ratings and getting people to live a life of unrealized dreams and fantasy.  If God wanted us to be programmed, he would have made us into robots like the Stepford wives.  As men, we aren't supposed to "show emotion"  I don't know where that hog wash came from, but it needs to be squashed.

We have emotional needs just like you do.  We like to have our egos stroked once in a while.  We like it when you make us feel like a man.  We want you to share our dreams and goals for ourselves, our family and our relationship.  We want to hear what God is saying to us about our homes, but we need you to give us time to hear Him over what you have to say.  We want you to respect us enough, that we are hearing God speak to us and through us.  We don't want to be compared to other men.  Ask yourself this -  why did I choose him?  Make that list of all of his qualities and what you consider  his shortcomings and then pray about them.  Men - you do the same thing and really pray from a place of love for her.  IF you really want to hear from God - get your heart to a place where He would want to reside.  He is standing at the door looking for a vacancy sign - not "no room in the inn"  Your heart is the seat of your soul - just give it Him.

If you are genuinely praying for each other, and not a "God please change him/her.  I can't stand it when...."  No, you took vows that said for better or for worse.  In your weakness, you will find strength.  Those places that you think are weakness are really presenting themselves as opportunities to grow together.  So, if you want him/her to hear God's Voice - you need to close your mouth, repent and start thinking about how you are going to present your words, prior to letting them have free reign over your.  Words are like toothpaste, once it's out, you can't put it back.